Can anyone help clarify this situation?

[AOII Angel]

I wouldn't recommend that you go around asking sisters why you weren't given a bid. First, it is a secret that cannot be revealed by sorority members. Second, you may alienate the members if they feel pressured to give you an answer. Third, a member may not know exactly why you were released. If members are breaking their rules by telling you why you were released, they are risking sanctions should their chapter discover their infraction. I don't think they'd be too inclined towards you should they get fined for telling you these things.

[lilpadfoot]

I didn't ask. It was a well-meaning fraternity friend that did it, and I didn't ask him to either. I found out that he did when he told me today. Should I tell him not to do that anymore?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by lilpadfoot

I didn't ask. It was a well-meaning fraternity friend that did it, and I didn't ask him to either. I found out that he did when he told me today. Should I tell him not to do that anymore?

This is even worse.


I know I said this in your other thread, but perhaps you didn't read it. I'll repeat:

A guy most likely does not know the EXACT reason you didn't get a bid.

That's not something you know for certain.

Only those women know for certain, and it's not something they should really be discussing outside of the chapter.

So anything you hear is likely just rumors, hearsay, or something a sorority member just told him because she couldn't tell him the details and is trying to spare your feelings.

So once again, be careful of what you believe.

I would really hate to see you go through recruitment AGAIN based on what someone else said about being able to get a bid if you met more people.

He doesn't KNOW that because he's not in that sorority.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

This is even worse.


I know I said this in your other thread, but perhaps you didn't read it. I'll repeat:

A guy most likely does not know the EXACT reason you didn't get a bid.

That's not something you know for certain.

Only those women know for certain, and it's not something they should really be discussing outside of the chapter.

So anything you hear is likely just rumors, hearsay, or something a sorority member just told him because she couldn't tell him the details and is trying to spare your feelings.

So once again, be careful of what you believe.

I would really hate to see you go through recruitment AGAIN based on what someone else said about being able to get a bid if you met more people.

He doesn't KNOW that because he's not in that sorority.

Completely agreed! If backed into a corner, some sorority women will give a simple answer to why a PNM didn't get a bid. The reasons why PNMs are or are not given a bid are secret. They aren't always nice either. Do you really need the pain of not getting a bid compounded by a reason?