I really need advice. Help!

[jwright25]

You could also find out if any of the sisters are members of other campus organizations and get involved in the ones that are of interest to you. Service organizations, athletic clubs, religious organizations, spirit clubs, etc. When you go to meetings and see familiar faces, you can sit with them and join in on the conversation and planning.

Do you have any classes with any members or other new members? Sit with them. Make plans to study or work on projects with them.

The point is to find things that already interest YOU and then connect with the women in the sorority that share those interests. Most chapters are very diverse with respect to the members' talents and activities. There's someone in there who will have similar goals to you.

I've been around sorority women for many years, and your situation is not uncommon. It takes many people time - sometimes a couple of years - to really find sisters that they connect with on a personal level to hang out with outside of sorority functions. The point is that you can't give up, otherwise everyone else will just write you off. Good luck!

[mh*e]

It does sometimes take a bit of effort to find your niche. My advice, in order:

1. Ask sisters to do things with you. Find something you have in common, however small, and go from there. I met my best friend in my pledge class because we both loved to eat sushi and would always call each other if we needed a sushi buddy!

2. Tell your Big how you feel. It is really her job to a) spend time with you, and b) help you find other friends in the sorority to spend time with. Maybe she needs a wake-up call.

3. Tell the people in charge how you feel. For example, your Pledge Mom/New Member Educator (whether you are a pledge anymore or not), the President, another Exec member or advisor, or even your house mom.

Your sorority does not want to lose you as a member. Do your best to make new friends, but if you are still struggling, seek assistance. Without a doubt, someone will take you under her wing and help you.

[KSUViolet06]

Something to think about:

I always tell girls to remember that friendships within a sorority are a two way street, just like other relationships you may have had.

Too often, I feel like new girls get upset that older members aren't just automatically and immediately asking them to do things. Sometimes, girls aren't going to automatically ask you to hang out. If you ask a girl what she's doing tonight and she says she's going out, it's okay to ask if you can join them.

My point is that you have to put yourself out there to make friends (just like in any other social situation).

Talk to girls, get involved on committees, ask to be included in things, and don't be afraid to invite yourself if girls are just going to Starbucks or something. We never minded if a girl just came along with us to dinner or something. I get the impression that you come from a rather large chapter, so there's probably no shortage of girls for you to talk to.

Making friends in ANY situation requires you to make an effort. Don't just sit back and say "I just sit alone in my room because no one talks to me or likes me." If you write everyone off and assume that they don't want to talk to you, things won't get better. You'll quit, then you still won't have any friends.

Best of luck to you!

[AlwaysSAI]

*Laurel*,

I can almost guarantee that you are not the first new initiate to feel this way. I didn't make any friends in my pledge class while I was pledging and I it took me almost a full year after initiation to feel apart of the sisterhood. Over the past few months, I have actually become really close with a girl that pledged with me.

Stay involved with the sorority. Go to events and talk to sisters. It may take a while, but you'll find the sisterhood you're looking for.