Disappointed mom

[Jen]

Originally Posted by sail100

I simply want my daughter to have the same kinds of wonderful experiences and memories I did

How do you know she won't? How do you know anything about what your daughter will make her experience? You can't know until it's happened. You are looking at her experience in terms of YOUR life, YOUR requirements to be happy, YOUR personality and YOUR longing for the old days.

I suspect she may be aware of the limited opportunities she may have in this house, but I think I need to make sure she is fully aware before committing to this. Her happiness at receiving a bit may be coloring her judgment. Despite what many of you think, I did send her the requisite sorority goody basket on bid day, and tried to be happy for her. I have not made tacky or hurtful comments to her.

Do you not think she doesn't know how you feel? Do you think you're really that good at hiding your true feelings? On some level, she knows you're disappointed. There's a good chance she feels like she's disappointed you as a daughter if she knows how focused on being "the best" you are. The limitations you think she is feeling may be ones you're putting on her rather than ones the Greek system or her new sorority are.

What if she really loves where she is, but she knows you're upset about it? What if she's the type of person to depledge her group just to make you happy, be a good daughter, and in the process, makes herself completely miserable? Is that really what you want for her?

You have to trust her to make the decision that is right for her - REGARDLESS of what it is. If she decides to stay and the chapter is closed in a year or two and she's upset over it - HER problem.

If she gets initiated then realizes she's miserable - HER problem.

She has all the information she needs to make her decision on her own.