It's inappropriate to you, personally, and it is most certainly inappropriate in school, but it may not be inappropriate to the child's parents. As I mentioned, as a teacher, you have the obligation to ban potentially offensive language in your classroomandexplain to children why such language is inappropropriate in that context. I would support you wholeheartedly there.
On the other hand, if you brought it to the parents attention and they were as horrified as you were, at that point, reinforcing what they're already teaching at home is terrific.
We all do a disservice to children when we chastise them outside of the parents' wishes. It's counterproductive to teach (in school or otherwise) values if they aren't being reinforced at home.
Unfortunately, in a lot of cases, parents are not specifically teaching any values. I doubt any teacher is telling children that their parents are wrong in a situation. They would likely tell them not to use inappropriate language in public places according to societal norms. What their parents allow at home is immaterial. This is across all racial groups. If a white parent allows the n-word at home, I'd the same reaction (or worse) to the child using that word in public. Teachers have more contact with school children in a day than most parents and have been routinely expected to impart societal values to their students.
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