How soon after breaking up?

[Munchkin03]

It depends on you and your individual relationship habits. I know that for me, I broke up with my ex of 5 years and was with someone else very soon after (like a matter of days). When that ended after 2 years--on my accord--I realized that I hadn't been single since I was 19, and I didn't realize how much I liked it! I basically took six months to spend time by MYSELF. Now, I'm starting to whittle it down and date more seriously.

It also depends on what you want out of your relationships and life.

[33girl]

LB: Do you mean dating, or having a new relationship? Two different things.

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by 33girl

LB: Do you mean dating, or having a new relationship? Two different things.

Yeah, exactly.

Do whatever you want - I don't even know what "respectful" means in this scenario. If you're still friends with the old guy, it's actually a pretty good litmus test of future friendship - if you can be open and honest with him in this area, you're good to go. If not, then at least you found out now.

If you're still even a little hung up on the past relationship (regardless of whether you ended it or he did), then you should probably date casually or sex up a bunch of randoms at the bar. Like Dan Savage famously said, every ml of someone else's saliva is worth one week of getting over a relationship. Until you're there, a serious relationship isn't all that fair, to you or to the other person. However, if you're good to go, then you're good to go.

[AOII_LB93]

Originally Posted by 33girl

LB: Do you mean dating, or having a new relationship? Two different things.

I completely agree. Long ago, before I was with my husband I was with a guy for two years, broke it off and within a matter of days was dating someone new. I think it was because I had mentally broken up with the ex long before I actually did it. I think a lot of women who do the breaking up do that...I don't know many women who break up on a whim, unless the guy was caught doing something he shouldn't have been.

If you feel ready to date again, by all means.