Quote:
Originally Posted by Elephant Walk
Sometimes 2nd year students are refreshing because they have all their shit together. Make sure you're a strong candidate in that you have the necessary connections on campus. The three high school friends are a great start, especially if they have clout within the fraternity (they would be sophomores, I'd assume so I don't know how much clout they would have...just hope they aren't dickfarmers).
I had a good friend go through as a freshman. He badly wanted to get into this one house and his friend inside the house kept saying he'd get a bid and he'd have no problem. Well, come bid day my freshman friend didn't get the bid because his high school sophomore friend had absolutely no clout within the fraternity and was a spring pledge (which is looked down upon, especially by the bigger fall classes). So don't think you have it sown up, make sure you make other connects throughout that fraternity if that is the one you want.
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Solid advice. The best.
TCMJuiceVA, based on the details of your post- I get the feeling you are a solid rush candidate at your school who just happened to have a bad first experience and are afraid of that happening again.
You have gotten some great guidance so far, and I would just add that now is a good time to think seriously about these 3 chapters and the ability of your contacts in those chapters to be of help to you. Keep in mind too that all the help they can offer is to present you to the chapter for consideration.
That is both nothing and everything. It won't get you the bid on its own, but if you have friends urging you to join 3 different solid chapters at UVA- then it is clear you are a solid candidate. That is enough people for me to assume you have a lot going for you.
A good number of guys in selective Greek systems make a mistake the first time around- often a mistake they could not have forseen. And they very often find the right fit sophomore year. This is not uncommon, so don't worry about it.
As for making yourself more appealing to certain chapters- be careful there. From your post where you have a clear perception of the status of the chapters you might be considered for- and from the fact you have friends at those 3 chapters eager to rush you- you don't need to change too much. Talk to any friends you have in sororities about working on things like attire and manners if you think that will help. But don't try to change who you are.
You can fit into certain societal conventions without sacrificing your core self. Doing that for rush is good practice for real life when you go out into the world and make a living in your chosen industry and location which will have its own conventions. If you will be happy with acceptance into a chapter that can be a fun place where you can grow, then making these kinds of adjustments will be worth it- and you can do it without changing who you are.
Good luck and hope this helps.
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