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How about saying (to both sets of parents):
"We're getting married in this chapel (or courthouse, beach, lumber yard, whatever) on this day at this time. We'll pay for plane tickets for all parents to come celebrate with us."
All parents are equally involved at no cost to them. If your parents choose not to come, then while sad, that's their choice (that they'll probably live to regret).
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Never let the facts stand in the way of a good answer. -Tom Magliozzi
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