Rushing lonely

[gee_ess]

I really like violetpretty suggestion that you explain that you are quiet and shy without going into your diagnosis.

My concern is WHERE you are in school. Judging from the info on your post, you may be attending in the SEC and that can be harder than an informal recruitment campus.

Also, you might get the women who write your recs/letters to include your shyness, etc in their introduction of you. It is nice to have a "heads up" about a girl who may come across as unfriendly and is really just very shy.

Again, good solid advice from violet

ETA: KSUViolet06 and I must have posted at the same time!")

[nate2512]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

I really like violetpretty suggestion that you explain that you are quiet and shy without going into your diagnosis.

My concern is WHERE you are in school. Judging from the info on your post, you may be attending in the SEC and that can be harder than an informal recruitment campus.

Also, you might get the women who write your recs/letters to include your shyness, etc in their introduction of you. It is nice to have a "heads up" about a girl who may come across as unfriendly and is really just very shy.

Again, good solid advice from violet

ETA: KSUViolet06 and I must have posted at the same time!")

Nothing in the SEC is small as she described.

[Jimmy Choo]

If you haven't already please seek some medical help with SAD. My boyfriend has the exact same thing and it used to really make going out and being socialable next to impossible for him. His dr. prescribed Wellbutrin for him and while it has not changed everything for him, his quality of life has significantly improved. He still doesn't like social situations with strangers he can now get thru them without having panic attacks (like he used to).

[Katmandu]

I commend you for wanting to step outside your comfort zone, and to challenge yourself with new experiences.

A couple of questions/comments.... are you self-diagnosed, or are you in treatment/therapy for SAD? If you are not in treatment, you might want to consider that, because as other posters have noted, joining a sorority won't necessarily change you, and therapy and medication can go a long way in helping.

If you ARE in therapy, discuss your desire to go through recruitment with your counselor or therapist. Role-playing, discussing possible scenarios, talking out typical recruitment questions, (read rush threads for info about typical recruitment conversations) could be very helpful.

I know it's the end of the year, but those sorority women you are already acquainted with could be great resources for you. Is there one that seems particularly approachable? If so, make an effort to get to know her. Don't necessarily spill your life story, or go into great detail about social anxiety, as that could backfire. Just reach out a bit. Maybe one of them is introverted/shy/anxious as well. Sometimes people respond when you reach out, sometimes they don't, but you will have made that first step and regardless of the outcome, you will have been proactive.

I agree with the other posters about not being too clinical or detailed in what you say to the actives during recruitment. Acknowledging shyness or introversion is something almost everyone can identify with. Many 19 or 20 year old college women would have no experience or understanding of Social Anxiety Disorder, and would only hear the word, "Disorder", which would be a shame.

As Violetpretty noted, having some great questions of your own to ask is a wonderful preparation for all PNMs. All actives love to talk about their chapter, their bigs/littles, activities, etc.

Another suggestion: Do you know, or can you locate, any recent graduates, women around 25-28 who were in sororities who might help you prepare for recruitment? They could talk you through the typical party talk, help you with recs, etc. A sorority alum in her mid to late 20's would be old enough to really understand your situation in a way that college women might not, yet be young enough to be savvy about recruitment. Contact your local panhellenic or greek life office to see if you can meet some people, or ask around at church, your old school, mom's friends, etc. Someone is bound to know someone, and the effort you make in contacting someone might be a good experience for you.

Recs are going to be critical for you. A good rec from someone who can talk about your qualities of loyalty, sweetness, etc. could make the difference between a chapter saying, "she seems uninterested" to a chapter saying, "she would make a great member". Turn over every stone to find recs and/or letters of support for each chapter on campus. You might be surprised to find teachers, mom's friends, etc. who were in glos.

Best of luck to you! I will be thinking of you and sending good vibes your way!

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

.
Also, you might get the women who write your recs/letters to include your shyness, etc in their introduction of you. It is nice to have a "heads up" about a girl who may come across as unfriendly and is really just very shy.

definately have your rec. writers do this. how much info. they share is up to you. if you were close to any of the girls in the sororities on your campus, and kept regularly in touch with them, you could mention your "breakthru" and how you are so much happier and are working to be more outgoing and friendly, etc. but it sounds like that won't work here.

i think that for you to have the best rush results possible, somehow the information needs to be revealed to the girls you know that you were not being aloof, standoffish or snobby by choice-that this is a disorder that you are working to overcome.

please seek medical help. there are so many ways you can be helped to cope with your disorder.

best wishes for your good health and for success with rush.

[Fleur de Lis]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

Also, you might get the women who write your recs/letters to include your shyness, etc in their introduction of you. It is nice to have a "heads up" about a girl who may come across as unfriendly and is really just very shy.

This is exactly what I was going to suggest. They don't need to go into detail about your diagnosis, but mentioning that you have trouble opening up but really are excited about joining will make a difference. These women can also be a great resource for practicing answering questions about yourself and your goals. During recruitment, try to smile and make eye contact as well, because body language can speak volumes. Good luck!