So you're saying if these people hid the truth, for the rest of their lives, and never told anyone they were gay, and fit perfectly with your fraternity you'd have no problem with them? But the second the issue of them being gay arises they're automatically discriminated against. I understand the whole issue of being confortable with them (actually not personaly I don't because I'm not a guy so I can't fully understand what living with a gay guy and being male is like) and I'm certain it must be difficult. However I highly doubt you and every singe one of your brothers is 100% alike in every way. There has to be some differences amongst you and your brothers whether great or not.
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