I Don't Date Outside of My Race...

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by lovehaiku84

Goodness gracious! What cotton filled world have you been living in? Seriously. Anyways, I don't make it sound like if he's with a black woman he doesn't have a prize, that's how you read it. I believe that if a man is with a good woman he does have a prize, regardless of her race. However, I will say it AGAIN, some black men think that white women are better than black women and those are the ones that I take issue with. And PLEASE do not ask me why, because I don't know. Why are you so worried about it, is my question to you? I have said on MORE THAN ONE occassion that I am well aware that people find love across races. I have said that this is something I was raised to be accepting of. DSTCHAOS even clarified what I was saying for you...so what's the problem?

I didn't know about that part of your post as of why some black men think white women are better. Why? What's the difference?

I'm not worried about it, but I'm curious to know why? Sounds like some very insecure men to me.

Sorry for misunderstanding you.

[facebookjunkie]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I didn't know about that part of your post as of why some black men think white women are better. Why? What's the difference?

I'm not worried about it, but I'm curious to know why? Sounds like some very insecure men to me.

Sorry for misunderstanding you.

what lovehaiku84 was saying is that SOME (not all) black men THINK that white women are better. She was saying you can't specifically ask her the reason WHY because she's not a BLACK MALE that THINKS like that. (DISCLAIMER: of course we know that ALL women are created equal). However, we as black intellectualls can possibly give reasons to WHY black men think this way.

(and this is why they may have said you need a history lesson) in the past white women were seen as a "prize" by their fathers, their communties and their culture. Black men could have been lynched for just looking at a white woman the wrong way. That being said, some black men see this "prize" as something that was once unattainable that can be obtained now.

other black males might think dating white women gives them more of a "status" in a "white business world"

and yet others think their babies will look better because they will be lighter with "better quality hair"

These are only my assumptions, but if you really want more information i'm sure there are PLENTY of scholary journals on this topic on end.

[Ronnie B]

Originally Posted by facebookjunkie

what lovehaiku84 was saying is that SOME (not all) black men THINK that white women are better. She was saying you can't specifically ask her the reason WHY because she's not a BLACK MALE that THINKS like that. (DISCLAIMER: of course we know that ALL women are created equal). However, we as black intellectualls can possibly give reasons to WHY black men think this way.

(and this is why they may have said you need a history lesson) in the past white women were seen as a "prize" by their fathers, their communties and their culture. Black men could have been lynched for just looking at a white woman the wrong way. That being said, some black men see this "prize" as something that was once unattainable that can be obtained now.

other black males might think dating white women gives them more of a "status" in a "white business world"

and yet others think their babies will look better because they will be lighter with "better quality hair"

These are only my assumptions, but if you really want more information i'm sure there are PLENTY of scholary journals on this topic on end.

Hell yeah....yup!!!!

[violetpretty]

Do Black women get upset when a Black man dates a Latina (or non-White or non-Black) woman? If a White man is dating a White woman (or a woman of any other race but Black), why does no one question why he does not date Black women and take offense to it?

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Do Black women get upset when a Black man dates a Latina (or non-White or non-Black) woman? If a White man is dating a White woman (or a woman of any other race but Black), why does no one question why he does not date Black women and take offense to it?

@bolded: They do and do take offense to it. However, nowadays, I don't see the dividing line being polar opposites than black or white. There are just gradations. However I do see an all out attack on the image and persona of Black women by the media, but that has been going on for many years.

For example: Michelle Obama... What kinds of images does it evoke or conjure up in regards to her, without references to her comments?

As far as upset with Brothers dating other races. I don't think the ACT of doing it is what pisses Sistahs off. It is the brazenness of the attitude towards dating that pisses us off. Many bruhs have all kind of creative lines they run past women, generally. SOME bruhs use ethnic group specific attributes as standards of beauty blatantly in front of several sistahs or put down sistahs ethnic group specific attributes to state why they are ugly...

I got told by one bruh that my hair was too long and nappy and that I needed to get a relaxer for him to speak to me... He stated it publicly to belittle me. And I was not even thinking about him or attracted to him!!! So, why did he go there? That was close to 20 years ago and it still hurts. Because, I am no where near the kind of description he described.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Do Black women get upset when a Black man dates a Latina (or non-White or non-Black) woman?

Some black women do because ONCE AGAIN it's a case of "anything but black." Black women as a group have always been told our beauty is not the standard and that white women were more beautiful and more pure. That also fuels the fire of intragroup prejudice based on skin complexion and hair texture. So when Latina women are now some type of standard, and used as "anything but black," that is symbolic of more than just an individual-level dating preference.

Black women don't want every black man and we don't want to control who people date, in general. What we DO want is for our beauty and attributes to not be objectified and downplayed, only to be mimicked by others or celebrated as if the wheel has just been invented. When J Lo was such a big deal, for example, a lot of black women thought "okay...she's ALWAYS been pretty but her butt is something that many black women have everyday."

Originally Posted by violetpretty

If a White man is dating a White woman (or a woman of any other race but Black), why does no one question why he does not date Black women and take offense to it?

Oh white men do date black women and there's even a dating site for it. But white men overwhelmingly date and marry Asian women when they are involved in interracial unions.

Other than that, black women generally don't care about white men and their dating preferences.

[blakiceanjel]

I talked to a white guy one time... and he was really nice, but there was some level we weren't connecting on. Anyway I stopped talking to him and he went crazy and kinda started stalking me... Creepy..

I don't really have a problem with interracial dating. I only have a problem with exclusive interracial dating. Like when someone refuses to date someone of their race. I went to HS with three brothas (blood related to each other and black) that didn't date black girls. The youngest one explained it was because white girls were easier to handle. I told him he was weak and ignorant. It really pissed me off because I'd had a crush on him before then

I'm and Army brat, so that gives me a slightly special upbringing. Everything is very integrated. My little sister is the best example. She is completely color-blind and I think it's great. My dad eventually got over it and said as long as a man treats us right it doesn't matter if he's green.

Honestly there are black people that date black people and still don't know anything about their culture. I don't think dating outside of your race would stop you from learning about your people. In this country, none of us are pure anything anyway. There are some cultural differences between races, but isn't it a good idea to learn as much as we can?

*getting off the soap box now*

[MsFoxyLoxy77]

I've been talking about this issue with my younger brother lately. He's an Airman First Class in the US Airforce and his job entails that he's on flight crew. Here is a little background on the the Airforce (according to my brother). Of all the US Airforce roles/jobs only 1% of Airforce military personnel works directly in flight (ie, pilots, co-polits, flight personnel/crew). Of that 1% only 1% are African-American. So when my brothers hanging w/his co-workers Betty & Sue (excuse the generic names) are all up in his grill. I know this, not only because he told me so, BUT because of two instances:

1. He visited for the holidays last year & his phone rings. I was closer to it so he told me to answer it before it hung up. I answered it & some fresh thing answers the phone and says, "Do you want to F@@k" I said what? She replied, "This is [____ ] & I got a text message saying so & so wanted to f@@K." (This dummy had to realize by now she was talking to a woman) I replied, "Well this is not so & sos #" I handed my bro. the phone & he put her on speaker phone (because he knew from my facial expressions, this wasn't the average phone call) & kindly explained to this girl (mind you this was before noon that day) that she had the wrong #. Do you know she replied, "Oh...well I still wanna f**k." He hung up the phone (because it was obvious nothing was getting through to her)...then called one of his Airforce friends and went smack off. It turns out he knew the guy the girl was asking for & he told homeboy to keep his "girls" in check. My brother told me the friend said, "Man she thought you was cute. I was just trying to hook you up." He replied NO THANKS and told his "friend" his sister had answered the phone & that he had better taste than that and he should too.

2. I went to his myspace (I'm not into myspace so this was my first time seeing his page) earlier this year. There was a photo of him w/one non Black girl on either side of him (two in total) dressed in vintage flight attendant uniforms while he was in his actual flight uniform, & his arms were spread over both their shoulders. The picture read, "I'm so fly I have my own flight attendants." I called him asap asking WTF he was doing taking any pictures with women esp. non-Black women as props. He replied it was harmless & those girls were there (in Afghanistan) to take pictures w/all servicemen who were done for that tour & and headed back to the US.
I guess these girls were eye candy? This is an example of what people have been saying about society idealizing European/anything but Black beauty. Why weren't there any Black women greeters?

Bottom line he knows what time it is...my brother is a catch and no matter how much I love him I will not accept anyone for him unless they are of African descent. Flash forward today. He has a live in girlfriend (she's Black) and he told me the girl was nervous about meeting the fam for the holidays (I have some crazy aunts). He told her, "Don't worry. I'll just tell everyone you're really white and I was ashamed to admit it. When I introduce you everybody will be so relieved they'll love you!" I couldn't help but laugh...

[TotallyWicked]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Some black women do because ONCE AGAIN it's a case of "anything but black." Black women as a group have always been told our beauty is not the standard and that white women were more beautiful and more pure. That also fuels the fire of intragroup prejudice based on skin complexion and hair texture. So when Latina women are now some type of standard, and used as "anything but black," that is symbolic of more than just an individual-level dating preference.

Black women don't want every black man and we don't want to control who people date, in general. What we DO want is for our beauty and attributes to not be objectified and downplayed, only to be mimicked by others or celebrated as if the wheel has just been invented. When J Lo was such a big deal, for example, a lot of black women thought "okay...she's ALWAYS been pretty but her butt is something that many black women have everyday."

this is an issue on campus as there are about as many Black women as there are Latinas. I think it is an unspoken one though, like neither is willing to say something but I have had some conversations with my Black female and Latina friends.

Many of the Black women I talk to cannot stand that Black men are dating Latinas when there are just as many Black women on campus. Many of what my friends have said is "they seem to be going with them for the same attributes they can get with us", mind you there are very little Black Latinas and the majority are white of Mestiza (Indigenous/White..which ultimately leads em to be darker skinned than European Latinas).

Now other Black women have been telling me, "I'm okay with it, I ultimately don't like Black men gettin with white women when there are women of color around him". I know the main thing that perturbs Black women when Black males date Latinas on campus is when Black men (not all) tell them that they have 'more in common because of upbringing' with Latinas than they do Black women, this could be a class issue as my school has been able to recruit more inner city urban Latinos but has gotten way more middle class Black students than Latinos.

It's a mouthful open to more questions but I'm all ears

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by TotallyWicked

this is an issue on campus as there are about as many Black women as there are Latinas. I think it is an unspoken one though, like neither is willing to say something but I have had some conversations with my Black female and Latina friends.

Many of the Black women I talk to cannot stand that Black men are dating Latinas when there are just as many Black women on campus. Many of what my friends have said is "they seem to be going with them for the same attributes they can get with us", mind you there are very little Black Latinas and the majority are white of Mestiza (Indigenous/White..which ultimately leads em to be darker skinned than European Latinas).

Now other Black women have been telling me, "I'm okay with it, I ultimately don't like Black men gettin with white women when there are women of color around him". I know the main thing that perturbs Black women when Black males date Latinas on campus is when Black men (not all) tell them that they have 'more in common because of upbringing' with Latinas than they do Black women, this could be a class issue as my school has been able to recruit more inner city urban Latinos but has gotten way more middle class Black students than Latinos.

It's a mouthful open to more questions but I'm all ears

I really do not understand what you are saying.

I have dated NUMEROUS Latino gentlemen before I was married. It just was because those were the gentlemen that asked me out for a date.

And those Black men who say that [Insert your ethnic group here] is "more common because of their upbringing" are full of chit... There are just as many or possibly more Black women of similar or better upbringing than these men purport. These Black men generalizing Black women in that way is demeaning and belittling--and moreso toward ALL WOMEN!!! And I am wondering how women from varying ethnic groups would see anything possible in these dumbassed men?

I mean, am I missing something? Some these men are assholes! They don't deserve even the fake European trannie punanny!

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by TotallyWicked

this is an issue on campus as there are about as many Black women as there are Latinas. I think it is an unspoken one though, like neither is willing to say something but I have had some conversations with my Black female and Latina friends.

Many of the Black women I talk to cannot stand that Black men are dating Latinas when there are just as many Black women on campus. Many of what my friends have said is "they seem to be going with them for the same attributes they can get with us", mind you there are very little Black Latinas and the majority are white of Mestiza (Indigenous/White..which ultimately leads em to be darker skinned than European Latinas).

Now other Black women have been telling me, "I'm okay with it, I ultimately don't like Black men gettin with white women when there are women of color around him". I know the main thing that perturbs Black women when Black males date Latinas on campus is when Black men (not all) tell them that they have 'more in common because of upbringing' with Latinas than they do Black women, this could be a class issue as my school has been able to recruit more inner city urban Latinos but has gotten way more middle class Black students than Latinos.

It's a mouthful open to more questions but I'm all ears

So the black women are overwhelmingly middle class and the nonblack Latina women are overwhelmingly not middle class? It's an interesting contextual divide there. That's an example of how campuses are often bubbles where dynamics can be found that won't be found in the general population.

More power to them.