Extroverts and Introverts Dating

Dionysus · #1 04-08-2008, 10:13 PM

There's many threads here on GC and other message boards about dating across races, class, income levels, education levels, and religions. But I think this is a HUGE difference that many people overlook when selecting a partner.

Are you an extrovert in a relationship a introvert (or the opposite)? Were you in any in the past? Would you date one in the future? Do you prefer to stick with your "own kind"?

I'm a strong extrovert, and I don't see any relationship working out with an introvert. Our lifestyles are so different. My life revolves around parties, meeting new people, and going out. I don't think I could compromise that for an introverted partner who wants to stay in all the time, or sit in a corner when we do leave. I don't think an introverted partner would enjoy me dragging them out or getting them to socialize.

KSUViolet06 · #2 04-09-2008, 12:23 AM

I'm an introvert but I like to date people who are mostly introverted but slightly extroverted. I'd like someone who can stay in and have a good time with me, but will *occasionally* get out. It's good for him to be extroverted enough to encourage me to get out every now and then, which I don't always do (I'm a BIG homebody).

I don't think I could date a STRONG extrovert. Being around people ALL THE TIME is exhausting to me. I don't think I could handle someone constantly wanting to go out and possibly complaining or getting upset when I don't want to.

Scandia · #3 04-09-2008, 07:26 AM

I am an Extravert, and prefer dating an Introvert. Two Extraverts want to be the center of attention, as well as each one wants to be the dominant one. Not a good idea. Not sure how it would work out between two Introverts.

Army Wife'79 · #4 04-09-2008, 10:01 AM

Married 25 years to an introvert and I'm a serious extrovert. It's a yin/yan thing. We balance each other. I totally agree with Scandia. When we go to parties he says I "work the room like a politician" and he stands in the corner soaking everything in. When we get home he will say "did you notice blah blah?" and I will have been way too busy talking to notice subtle things he picks up on.

33girl · #5 04-09-2008, 10:06 AM

I'm an extrovert. I find it impossible to date an introvert. I feel like I'm emasculating them and I hate that feeling.

(Note: there's a difference btwn being "quiet" and being truly introverted.)

Fleur de Lis · #6 04-09-2008, 12:00 PM

I am an extrovert who tried to date an introvert, and it didn't work. I felt like I had to be more reserved around him and couldn't fully show my personality. I'm married to another extrovert now and things are great.

Munchkin03 · #7 04-09-2008, 12:04 PM

Eh, I dated a real introvert (more like a shut-in with avoidant personality) for far too long. Some of our biggest fights were about how we did things socially. I just didn't want to stay in all. the. time.

AKA_Monet · #8 04-09-2008, 09:29 PM

I am an extrovert and my husband is an introvert. We balance each other out. When I am all half cocked and ready to go, he balances me and gives me a reality check with a dose of logic. When he starts locking himself up and attempts to bury himself in his work, I can get him out and experience the world and nature. It is kind of nice to see him au naturel

And sometimes we fight like cats and dogs. But in the end, we somehow manage to make up, come back together and see our differences through. Kinna bipolar, huh?

cheerfulgreek · #9 04-10-2008, 09:48 AM

I'm definitely an extrovert. Though I wouldn't mind another extrovert, I would rather be with an introvert. I like to get out sometimes and sometimes I enjoy staying in. Either way though, people say I talk a lot, I'm loud and obnoxious.

AlethiaSi · #10 04-10-2008, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'm an extrovert. I find it impossible to date an introvert. I feel like I'm emasculating them and I hate that feeling.

(Note: there's a difference btwn being "quiet" and being truly introverted.)

I agree with you on this, I'm very extroverted and I have a hard time being with someone that can not "keep up" with me, I don't care if we compete, at least i'm not babysitting him.

My ex tended to act out but was quiet most of the time, it was a bad combination, i just ended up mommy-ing him.

Coramoor · #11 04-10-2008, 01:55 PM

A dude that is emasculated and acts out b/c he isn't the center of attention...what kind of guys are you dating? That doesn't sound like an issue of introvert vs extrovert to me. Sounds like a personality disorder.

KSUViolet06 · #12 04-10-2008, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coramoor

A dude that is emasculated and acts out b/c he isn't the center of attention...what kind of guys are you dating? That doesn't sound like an issue of introvert vs extrovert to me. Sounds like a personality disorder.

LOL. It happens more often than you think. Extraverted girl dates introverted guy. Extravert girl likes to go out with friends. Introvert guy hates going out and makes her feel guilty for it all the time and sometimes accuses her of not caring about him, cheating on him, etc. when she is just being herself and having a good time.

Guy and girl have arguments all the time, most of which revolve around how he thinks her friends are more important to her than he is. In reality that's not true, she just likes going out and doing things and he just never wants to.

Guy and girl are typically "that couple" at a bar in which the girl is happily socializing and the guy is sitting in the booth looking pissed, checking his watch, and watching to see if she looks like she is enjoying herself. If she appears to be enjoying herself, he will most likely interrupt her and tell her it's time to leave, but she doesn't want to. So the couple proceeds to argue and make a scene while all of her friends watch.

33girl · #13 04-10-2008, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coramoor

A dude that is emasculated and acts out b/c he isn't the center of attention...what kind of guys are you dating? That doesn't sound like an issue of introvert vs extrovert to me. Sounds like a personality disorder.

I said if I date someone who's that introverted it would make ME feel that way. He may have no hangup with it whatsoever. I just don't like the way it makes me feel. I have the same issue with dating a 100 lb guy who's 5'4"...our height/weight discrepancy may not bother him at all, but it makes me feel like a mastodon.

Coramoor · #14 04-10-2008, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

LOL. It happens more often than you think. Extraverted girl dates introverted guy. Extravert girl likes to go out with friends. Introvert guy hates going out and makes her feel guilty for it all the time and sometimes accuses her of not caring about him, cheating on him, etc. when she is just being herself and having a good time.

Guy and girl have arguments all the time, most of which revolve around how he thinks her friends are more important to her than he is. In reality that's not true, she just likes going out and doing things and he just never wants to.

Guy and girl are typically "that couple" at a bar in which the girl is happily socializing and the guy is sitting in the booth looking pissed, checking his watch, and watching to see if she looks like she is enjoying herself. If she appears to be enjoying herself, he will most likely interrupt her and tell her it's time to leave, but she doesn't want to. So the couple proceeds to argue and make a scene while all of her friends watch.

..so it's more of a boring guy than an introverted guy.

RU OX Alum · #15 04-10-2008, 03:45 PM

yeah, introverted guys can go out and have fun.

also, i think the example KSUViolet06 gave was something that might have happened this past weekend.