International Adoption

[Leslie Anne]

My sister is in the process of international adoption. She just finished her Home Study this week. I've tried to learn as much as I can about the process since she's going it alone (single mom -- yes, I know not everyone is supportive of this). She'll, hopefully, be adopting a baby girl from Russia.

She plans on taking a lot of photographs and video of the area where the baby is from as well as learning as much about the culture as possible. Knowing my sister, she'll probably buy tons of Russian things to give as gifts each year (in addition to regular presents). I've heard quite a bit about the kids rejecting the culture as teenagers. It makes sense but at least if you give them the information they can choose whether or not to identify with it. Better that, then have them wondering and idealizing an imaginary or unknown "what if."

Best of luck to you, adpi*violet. I know it can be a difficult and emotionally draining process.

[SOPi_Jawbreaker]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

I've heard quite a bit about the kids rejecting the culture as teenagers. It makes sense but at least if you give them the information they can choose whether or not to identify with it. Better that, then have them wondering and idealizing an imaginary or unknown "what if."

I think this might be a typical teenager thing overall. I'm not adopted, but during my teen years, I really wanted to fit in and not be different. For instance, there was this Chinese-American girl in my class who would sometimes try to get me to speak Chinese with her. I would get embarrassed and ignore her, because I was uncomfortable having her draw attention to my differentness. But in college, I began to realize how cool it is that I'm bilingual and that I have both the American and the Chinese culture. I think the teen years are just awkward for everyone, and later on, during the college years, you're finally able to feel more comfortable in your own skin.

[BBelleADPi]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

I've heard quite a bit about the kids rejecting the culture as teenagers. It makes sense but at least if you give them the information they can choose whether or not to identify with it. Better that, then have them wondering and idealizing an imaginary or unknown "what if."

My daughter and her friends do not reject their heritage at all. They are very proud of being Chinese. They simply don't connect with it, because American ways are all they've ever known.

We (parents of the three girls) took them to the Chinese New Year Spectacular during Christmas break. They were very excited about going, and told all their friends about the show. I highly recommend this traveling production-the talent is amazing-singing, dancing, acrobatics, etc.

[Taualumna]

Originally Posted by BBelleADPi

My daughter and her friends do not reject their heritage at all. They are very proud of being Chinese. They simply don't connect with it, because American ways are all they've ever known.

We (parents of the three girls) took them to the Chinese New Year Spectacular during Christmas break. They were very excited about going, and told all their friends about the show. I highly recommend this traveling production-the talent is amazing-singing, dancing, acrobatics, etc.

Not connecting to Chinese culture as an adoptee isn't any different from not connecting as an ABC (American Born Chinese - to parents of Chinese descent).

[BBelleADPi]

Originally Posted by Taualumna

Not connecting to Chinese culture as an adoptee isn't any different from not connecting as an ABC (American Born Chinese - to parents of Chinese descent).

I agree.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

My sister is in the process of international adoption. She just finished her Home Study this week. I've tried to learn as much as I can about the process since she's going it alone (single mom -- yes, I know not everyone is supportive of this). She'll, hopefully, be adopting a baby girl from Russia.

She plans on taking a lot of photographs and video of the area where the baby is from as well as learning as much about the culture as possible. Knowing my sister, she'll probably buy tons of Russian things to give as gifts each year (in addition to regular presents). I've heard quite a bit about the kids rejecting the culture as teenagers. It makes sense but at least if you give them the information they can choose whether or not to identify with it. Better that, then have them wondering and idealizing an imaginary or unknown "what if."

Best of luck to you, adpi*violet. I know it can be a difficult and emotionally draining process.

Tell your sister that one of the first things she needs to do (if she hasn't already) is have the child tested for fetal alcohol syndrome. This is a big issue with Russion adoptees especially since the adoption agencies tend to cover it up.