How to help PNMs who don't get first choice?

[gee_ess]

So the long and short of it - even if you don't get your #1, at least try it out for the pledge period. You may find that you are really in the right place, and if not, you don't have to become a fully initiated member.
__________________

That is exactly the advice I would give a pnm in that situation, and isn't it nice that you had a moment to think about it when you received your bid card. Maybe someone even said those exact words to you on bid day.

On some campuses, the pnm's (roughly 400 girls) are given their bid cards in a large area where all the members are also in attendance (along with family, friends, etc - it is a big spectator sport) and on the count of three, they open their bid cards. Then, the screaming and hugging and chaos begins...Girls who get their second choice are left to their own devices - sure it works out fine for most. I just feel that our PC sort of washes their hands of the entire process from that moment on.
It's like rowing someone to the middle of a lake and then handing them the oars and jumping overboard. "Thanks for playing, pnm's. We have no more services, or help, or emotional support from this point forward. "

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

So the long and short of it - even if you don't get your #1, at least try it out for the pledge period. You may find that you are really in the right place, and if not, you don't have to become a fully initiated member.
__________________

That is exactly the advice I would give a pnm in that situation, and isn't it nice that you had a moment to think about it when you received your bid card. Maybe someone even said those exact words to you on bid day.

On some campuses, the pnm's (roughly 400 girls) are given their bid cards in a large area where all the members are also in attendance (along with family, friends, etc - it is a big spectator sport) and on the count of three, they open their bid cards. Then, the screaming and hugging and chaos begins...Girls who get their second choice are left to their own devices - sure it works out fine for most. I just feel that our PC sort of washes their hands of the entire process from that moment on.
It's like rowing someone to the middle of a lake and then handing them the oars and jumping overboard. "Thanks for playing, pnm's. We have no more services, or help, or emotional support from this point forward. "

But to be honest, it IS over from their perspective. Once the bids are issued, there's nothing else that can change other than the new member's feelings. You could continue to offer advice and counseling, but it's a lot to ask of rho gammas in my opinion that they would be expected to continue to remain mentally and emotionally disaffiliated enough that they could counsel girls who are new members of other groups.

I think that maybe the way to address this issue, from the PC angle, is to talk about it more during recruitment, so they have some ideas already about what they should do.

Maybe put the realistic information out there about whether re-rushing is a realistic option on your campus: some places it may actually be the case that a girl can decline a bid or drop out during the pledge period and get a different bid, but other campuses, it's not very likely to happen.

[carnation]

This was a good thread! It had advice that's important during recruitment season.