How to help PNMs who don't get first choice?

[gee_ess]

The pnm's are really not "allowed" to leave a pref unranked. First, if they are invited back to two houses, they MUST attend those two parties or be dropped from rush. Then, they do everything humanly possible to discourage the pnm from listing only one house on her bid card - even when the girl clearly feels that she only wants one of the houses. So, that can sometimes lead to a girl ranking her houses with the strong feeling that all she wants is first choice and is only ranking number two to keep the Gamma Chi happy.

That aside, my original post was not intended to suggest that we change the way bids are distributed based on these few girls who are disappointed, but to ask what can the chapter or, better yet, PANHLLENIC do as a follow up for these girls. I'm talking about an extra conversation that may, as one of you noted, be a "buck up" speech. Or a pep talk or a time to convince her to count her blessings, etc.

But, if you don't know who those girls are, then you don't know who to reach out to and you risk them feeling unhappy about the sorority from the get go and that (imo) can lead to an unhappy pledge experience. Which gets into the whole 6 week pledgeship vs semester and is another topic for another time!

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

The pnm's are really not "allowed" to leave a pref unranked. First, if they are invited back to two houses, they MUST attend those two parties or be dropped from rush. Then, they do everything humanly possible to discourage the pnm from listing only one house on her bid card - even when the girl clearly feels that she only wants one of the houses. So, that can sometimes lead to a girl ranking her houses with the strong feeling that all she wants is first choice and is only ranking number two to keep the Gamma Chi happy.

That aside, my original post was not intended to suggest that we change the way bids are distributed based on these few girls who are disappointed, but to ask what can the chapter or, better yet, PANHLLENIC do as a follow up for these girls. I'm talking about an extra conversation that may, as one of you noted, be a "buck up" speech. Or a pep talk or a time to convince her to count her blessings, etc.

But, if you don't know who those girls are, then you don't know who to reach out to and you risk them feeling unhappy about the sorority from the get go and that (imo) can lead to an unhappy pledge experience. Which gets into the whole 6 week pledgeship vs semester and is another topic for another time!

I don't think that a Rho Gamma that forces her PNMs to rank all of her preference chapters regardless of their feelings really has the best interests of her PNMs or the chapters. Of course, she should explain the possible scenarios to the PNM with her choices, but ultimately, neither a Rho Gamma nor a campus Panhellenic can force a PNM to rank all preference chapters.

Like I said before, this is why the women need to open their bids in relative privacy (i.e. with her Rho Gamma and no other PNMs). During the course of recruitment, a good Rho Gamma will be approachable and available and she will check in with each of her PNMs. A good Rho Gamma will know if there is potential for a PNM of hers to be upset about her bid, and she should be able to read her PNM's facial expression when opening the envelope.

With the situation I talked about earlier, all the NM needed was a talk to readjust her perspective. She was focusing on what she DIDN'T have instead of what she DID have. She was fine after that.