How to help PNMs who don't get first choice?

[ree-Xi]

The practical part of me asks, if you aren't going to be happy with your second or third choice, why do you list it? If I could choose 3, and could not see myself as happy getting into three groups, I would only list 2.

The emotional side of me understands that it can be hard to "instantly" be psyched with #2 if you obviously had a #1 in your heart. Like, if you audition for a play, and you don't get the lead, but a supporting role, you are probably going to be disappointed at first. But most people didn't get a real part.

I think the important part for the PNM is to realize that someone really wanted them. And that some girls, maybe a lot of girls, didn't get chosen at all.

Recognize the situation for what it IS and not for what it ISN't. What it "IS or "WAS" for me - *I* was invited to be part of a very close, very special group. In the vastness of the school, the world - these girls chose ME to be one of them -for the rest of our academic careers, for life. I was, and still am, deeply honored. Especially because so many years later, these girls still want me.

My advice, then, is to accept what DO have, and an invitation to an Inter/national, lifelong sisterhood is an amazing gift. And honestly, given how little time most PNMs have with the groups during rush, the difference between their top two is mostly in their minds.