Rehersal Dinners - Page 2

KSUViolet06 · #16 02-24-2008, 04:34 PM

Most of the weddings I've been in have booked the private dining area of a really nice restaurant and had a catered buffet or sit down dinner (with free drinks). They usually included the bride/groom, the wedding party and dates, other people who have other parts in the ceremony (i.e. readers), parents, other family that might not be in the wedding, and some close friends or out of town guests.

The average rehearsal dinner I've been to usually has no more than 30-40 people.

carnation · #17 02-24-2008, 04:48 PM

Our daughter's future in-laws asked yesterday if they could host the rehearsal dinner at their house. They want to string white lights in the trees and fire up the barbecue. Yay! Sounds fun to me!

Our oldest daughter had a low country boil in a building on the college campus where she was married. The in-laws had friends who agreed to come to north Georgia and cater it. It was fantastic! The shrimp were massive!

Regarding wearing your old dress: the week before she was married, my oldest daughter put on my gown, we fixed her hair like mine was at my wedding, and she put on my veil. Then she walked into our bedroom and smiled at my husband, who did the biggest doubletake you ever saw. You see, she looks almost exactly like I did at that age and for a moment,he must have thought he'd gone over the edge.

Army Wife'79 · #18 02-24-2008, 05:12 PM

That will be fun. At my niece's wedding up in the mountains in Colorado at a Lodge, the RD was at the grill with Brats, Beer, & fixins and everyone had a wonderful time looking out at the Rocky Mountains. I wish I could do the RD here but alas, the son won't be getting married in our town. Which is too bad b/c as an Army wife I have the silver trays and entertaining ware to do a big gala affair for a huge crowd.
My D tried on my vintage 80's Princess Diana style dress with giant poufy sleeves and said, "um, no way will I ever wear this".

alum · #19 02-24-2008, 05:45 PM

^^^^Haha, my wedding gown was very similar to yours!

Rehearsal dinners that I recall were only for the bridal party and immediate family of the bride and groom.

GeekyPenguin · #20 02-24-2008, 08:38 PM

Most of the rehearsal dinners we go to include the wedding party + dates and family of the bride and groom. Usually there's between 30-50 people there. I think at all of them we did family style meals, which works out great. Drinks were free with dinner and after that we were on our own - at most of them, everybody ends up staying out at the bars until at least 12 and that'd be a huge burden for the groom's family! Usually the groomsmen will take turns buying rounds or the groom's dad will buy pitchers.

I really like the more casual ones - I hate the really stuffy sit-down ones where nobody is even getting to know each other.

pinkyphimu · #21 02-24-2008, 10:11 PM

Has anyone ever received a written invitation for the RD? I have been to two and didn't but I know this is going to come up with my future in-laws.

bejazd · #22 02-24-2008, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

Regarding wearing your old dress: the week before she was married, my oldest daughter put on my gown, we fixed her hair like mine was at my wedding, and she put on my veil. Then she walked into our bedroom and smiled at my husband, who did the biggest doubletake you ever saw. You see, she looks almost exactly like I did at that age and for a moment,he must have thought he'd gone over the edge.

That is so sweet! Those are the moments that make the whole wedding experience so worthwhile!

I went to a wedding recently where the bride and groom's familes had family wedding photos scattered all around the banquet room, it was so sweet and personal. The bride told me later she had wished she had thought to ask all the married couples she invited to send her a photo of themselves on their wedding day, she would have put them in frames on the table where the guests were seated.

GeekyPenguin · #23 02-24-2008, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkyphimu

Has anyone ever received a written invitation for the RD? I have been to two and didn't but I know this is going to come up with my future in-laws.

I have - they're never really formal like the wedding invitation, but are usually a cardstock thing that the groom's parents made themselves. I like them because most of the weddings the Conservinator or I have stood up in are in towns we've never been to and they often include a map to wherever the rehearsal is and then a map to the restaurant.

aephi alum · #24 02-24-2008, 10:34 PM

When DH and I got married, a bunch of us got together for dinner the night before. It wasn't anything formal or official, just a bunch of us (read: the wedding party) going out for dinner. Our parents weren't there (my dad was too busy disapproving of the marriage, and my MIL was too busy downing Bailey's

). We didn't really need a rehearsal - we'd been over everything with the rabbi privately. It was only after the fact that we tossed around the idea that that was the "rehearsal dinner".

Oh, and if any hypothetical daughter or DIL of mine dared to cut up my wedding dress, there'd be hell to pay.

WhiteDaisy128 · #25 02-24-2008, 11:10 PM

I did paper invitations...but only because I got them free from vistaprint.com

Here is what they looked like...simple, informalish, cute (haha).

Quote:

Oh, and if any hypothetical daughter or DIL of mine dared to cut up my wedding dress, there'd be hell to pay.

My mother is dead. I don't think she minded me cutting up her dress. I could never fit into it anyway (she was 100 lbs when she got married). I thought it was a great way to honor her. I'd be honored if my future daughter or DIL wanted to use my dress in any fashion (I'll never need it again).

amanda6035 · #26 02-24-2008, 11:13 PM

Our rehersal dinner was a backyard BBQ catered by Jim N Nicks. (YUUUUM!) We went to a package store and had beer and wine, and we had tables set up in the backyard, and the food was set up buffet style on the porch. We invited the out of town guests, the bridal party and their dates and our closest family friends. We had about 45 people there.

Lady Pi Phi · #27 02-25-2008, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

I don't know that there is such a thing as a trend for rehearsal dinners. BUT, DO NOT HAVE A CASH BAR OR "DRINK TICKETS". It's tacky. These people are your guests. If you can't afford the booze, don't have any or have just beer and wine...

I'm really sick of people using the T-word.

It the wedding of the bride and groom. Let them do what they want. If you think it's tacky, don't go to the wedding.

Cash bars are a lot more common than you think. Cash bars are a very regional thing. Cash bars are the norm in Northern Ontario. While in Southern Ontario, it would never happen. It really all depends on what you're use to, but it's not right to call someone elses choice or custom tacky.

I have been to quite a few cash bar weddings and I could care less. The bride and groom will provide wine with dinner (and believe you me, there's enough wine for 200 guests to get plastered without having a cash bar), but there is also a cash bar. The bride and groom will usually run their own bar and keep the proceeds. However, that's okay. It's accepted and it's encouraged.

SWTXBelle · #28 02-25-2008, 10:18 AM

Miss Manners, Emily Post, Dear Prudence, Amy Vanderbilt, etc. have made careers out of letting people know what is accepted and what is not. Just because something is popular doesn't mean it isn't tacky. If you are hosting an event you should provide the refreshments. That's simple hospitality.
But you are right - if you decide to something your own way, you should feel free to do so. However, you don't get to dictate other people's reactions to what you chose to do. The best part of tacky weddings is the stories they provide - see related threads.

Whitedaisy - I LOVE your rehearsal dinner invite. And I also love the idea of reusing the dress. Mine was NOT the one I ordered - I ended up giving it to the Salvation Army, but keeping my veil for my daughters.

Army Wife'79 · #29 02-25-2008, 11:04 AM

I have been to RD's where the bartender at the private banquet room had: beer, wine and champagne but if someone wanted a mixed drink, they had to go out to the main bar and buy it. I don't think that's tacky.
I have seen the drink tickets (2 per person plus wine at table) because I heard the legal liability of the host can get ugly if someone is in an accident on the way home because of an open bar.

APhi Sailorgirl · #30 02-25-2008, 11:09 AM

Wow, yesterday FI and I saw the FMIL and decided on our rehearsal dinner menu. She is having it at a local hotel down the street from the wedding. Unfortunately, she is very much for either no alcohol or a cash bar.

At this point I don't have the heart to argue with her. I am just happy that they're paying for the dinner at all. Finances have been a bit of a "thing" with the wedding.