Pregnant and in a sorority

[SthrnZeta]

Maybe her fiance told her it was 3 carats and she doesn't know better...? J told me I had a total carat weight of 1.25 and then told me that the center stone was 0.75 and the side stones were 0.3 each, then the stones in the band equaled 0.25. Doesn't add up does it? Luckily, I knew better and called him on it - he didn't even know what he bought! He thought it was a platinum band until I looked at the receipt and saw 18 kt white gold! Poor guy, LOL. At least he bought with his heart. So, that may be the case...?

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by SthrnZeta

Maybe her fiance told her it was 3 carats and she doesn't know better...? J told me I had a total carat weight of 1.25 and then told me that the center stone was 0.75 and the side stones were 0.3 each, then the stones in the band equaled 0.25. Doesn't add up does it? Luckily, I knew better and called him on it - he didn't even know what he bought! He thought it was a platinum band until I looked at the receipt and saw 18 kt white gold! Poor guy, LOL. At least he bought with his heart. So, that may be the case...?

I would think a woman would know what 3 carats look like... But I guess it could be a 3-stone that's 1 TCW, and that's where she got 3 carats from.

[SthrnZeta]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I would think a woman would know what 3 carats look like... But I guess it could be a 3-stone that's 1 TCW, and that's where she got 3 carats from.

I would think so too, but perhaps not if she's never worn a lot of jewelry. I mean, she's girly enough to be in a sorority at least so I dunno... Just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, especially since she's a sister and all But I sure as hell would know a 3 carat vs a 1 carat diamond! But then again I just received an enagment ring and I've been eyeing diamonds for a bit... If it really is 3 carats, I wanna see a pic - not because I don't believe her, but because I bet that ring is gorgeous and I just wanna see it

[FSUZeta]

just for the record, you can take early alumna status and NOT be involved at all with the sorority, ever, if you so choose. you don't have to pay dues unless you join an alumnae chapter or join that new program zta has just started for sisters who do not live in an area where an alumnae chapter exists-cyber zeta.

i did not become involved with an alumnae chapter until a good 10 years after college. then i was glad that i had the option. i had just married and moved far away from home. except for my husbands family, i knew absolutely noone in my new town. i started attending alumnae meetings, was invited to become an advisor at a nearby college chapter and served as an alumnae officer. now i am back in florida, but some of my closest friends here are sisters i never would have met without zeta.

we never know where life will take us-it's nice to have as many options open to ease any transition we may go thru. please rethink your decision.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

just for the record, you can take early alumna status and NOT be involved at all with the sorority, ever, if you so choose. you don't have to pay dues unless you join an alumnae chapter or join that new program zta has just started for sisters who do not live in an area where an alumnae chapter exists-cyber zeta.

i did not become involved with an alumnae chapter until a good 10 years after college. then i was glad that i had the option. i had just married and moved far away from home. except for my husbands family, i knew absolutely noone in my new town. i started attending alumnae meetings, was invited to become an advisor at a nearby college chapter and served as an alumnae officer. now i am back in florida, but some of my closest friends here are sisters i never would have met without zeta.

we never know where life will take us-it's nice to have as many options open to ease any transition we may go thru. please rethink your decision.

You never know when you'll want or even need your sisterhood. Please reconsider, and take alumnae status.

As for the three carats - it could be an heirloom. My roomie had a huge rock, but it was her fiance's grandmother's.

[ztaberry28]

Im sorry yall are so suspect, but yes this is all very true, as for the ring, it was my grandmothers designed by my grandfather who was a jeweler and since my mother is not married and doesnt plan to marry again she passed it on to me since we really cant afford a nice ring right now. Im young but I know what 3 carats looks like and trust me Im aware of the value. Just because I have a nice ring though doesnt mean we are not gonna struggle financially and that was the main reason i decided to drop. Dues of 1500 dollars really seems like a luxury when right now I need to focus on finishing as much school as possible and saving up money so my fiance and I can support our child, which in my opinion is a very mature decision, Im sorry that yall disagree. Im a college student and money isnt exactly growing on trees Im already in debt from student loans which i took out for both my sorority and my tuition and housing (about 6000 a semester) and when i think about whether I should spend a semester paying for dues and waiting to go alum or saving that money and putting it towards the baby as much as i love zeta to death it really wasnt that hard. Zeta has brought so much good into my life and I know that my friends are my friends no matter what. Im lucky I have another sister going through the same thing right now but thats not uncommon in a group of 100 plus girls. Someone is bound to get pregnant, we just happen to have 2 girls this semester and I feel better knowing Im not alone.

[AOII_LB93]

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

Im sorry yall are so suspect, but yes this is all very true, as for the ring, it was my grandmothers designed by my grandfather who was a jeweler and since my mother is not married and doesnt plan to marry again she passed it on to me since we really cant afford a nice ring right now. Im young but I know what 3 carats looks like and trust me Im aware of the value. Just because I have a nice ring though doesnt mean we are not gonna struggle financially and that was the main reason i decided to drop. Dues of 1500 dollars really seems like a luxury when right now I need to focus on finishing as much school as possible and saving up money so my fiance and I can support our child, which in my opinion is a very mature decision, Im sorry that yall disagree. Im a college student and money isnt exactly growing on trees Im already in debt from student loans which i took out for both my sorority and my tuition and housing (about 6000 a semester) and when i think about whether I should spend a semester paying for dues and waiting to go alum or saving that money and putting it towards the baby as much as i love zeta to death it really wasnt that hard. Zeta has brought so much good into my life and I know that my friends are my friends no matter what. Im lucky I have another sister going through the same thing right now but thats not uncommon in a group of 100 plus girls. Someone is bound to get pregnant, we just happen to have 2 girls this semester and I feel better knowing Im not alone.

Going alum doesn't cost money at all if you choose not to join an alum group. I can't see that your chapter would require you to pay dues for the whole semester at these are extenuating circumstances, but every organization is different. Perhaps you should speak with your advisers or your treasurer before you "drop". People here are telling you not to drop and to go alum, not stay active. If you drop that means that you will no longer be a ZTA, regardless of whether or not you still love Zeta.

You're not the only person this has ever happened to, nor will you be the last. However if you drop, you are no longer a Zeta. Is that something you really want to do?

[violetpretty]

Withdrawing from Zeta (which I am assuming what you mean by "drop") means you turn in your pin, membership certificate, etc. You are not a member in any capacity, and you never can be again. Withdrawl permanently severs ties with you and Zeta. Although I would expect that you'd still keep in touch with your closest friends from Zeta, you would not be a Zeta anymore. Your daughter(s) will not be Zeta legacies. You can't join a Zeta alumnae chapter 5 years from now.

Early alumna status is just that, early alumna status. With this status, you have the benefits of being an alumna without the financial responsibilities or time commitments of collegiate membership. This status is granted when a member leaves the university for any reason. For example, one of my sisters was severely depressed, and had to take a leave of absence from the University. She was granted early alumna status. Upon her return to the University, she was allowed to re-affiliate with the collegiate chapter or remain an alum. Her daughters will be legacies. She has the option to join an alumnae chapter when she is ready. I would think that being pregnant would make you eligible for this status.

If it were me in your situation, I'd want early alumna status. In fact, I can't think of any reason to not want early alumna status. The only reason to withdraw would be if Zeta won't grant you early alumna status.

In my chapter, if a girl chose to withdraw in the middle of a semester, she'd still be responsible for the dues for that sermester. However, yours are extenuating circumstances. You're not like "Wah I don't like ZTA anymore," you're pregnant! They should understand. Have you talked to an advisor, because I refuse to believe that they would ask for $1500 to allow you to take early alumna status while being pregnant!

[ztaberry28]

i sent an email to our vp 3 about it asking for information to see if i have to pay dues for this semester if i wanna go early alum

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

i sent an email to our vp 3 about it asking for information to see if i have to pay dues for this semester if i wanna go early alum

If your chapter EC says you have to pays this semester's dues, you should appeal that decision to your chapter advisory board. If they still want you to pay, you should appeal that to your regional advisors (I'm not sure of the exact structure in ZTA). Good luck to you and best wishes for a healthy pregnancy!

[SWTXBelle]

And - should they determine that you do need to pay, see if you can work out a long-term payment plan. But I really, really think it is in everyone's best interests to let you go alum - good luck!

[AOII Angel]

when you joined Zeta, you were not pregnant so that financial burden was not present when you agreed to pay the required dues. You now have extenuating circumstances which I'm sure Zeta has encountered somewhere along the line. Fight for your right (no...not to party) to preserve your ZTA membership. ZTA for a lifetime wouldn't mean much if they and you didn't work to make it for a lifetime. Good luck getting early alum status. I think in some way you'd grow to regret your decision to drop out! Congratulations on your engagement and your future child!

[KappaKittyCat]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

when you joined Zeta, you were not pregnant so that financial burden was not present when you agreed to pay the required dues. You now have extenuating circumstances which I'm sure Zeta has encountered somewhere along the line. Fight for your right (no...not to party) to preserve your ZTA membership. ZTA for a lifetime wouldn't mean much if they and you didn't work to make it for a lifetime. Good luck getting early alum status. I think in some way you'd grow to regret your decision to drop out! Congratulations on your engagement and your future child!

And for what it's worth, when we had members resign during the school year, regardless of whether they dropped during the term or at the break, we made them pay dues for the remainder of the term - so you'd still have to pay dues for this term. Just a thought.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

And - should they determine that you do need to pay, see if you can work out a long-term payment plan. But I really, really think it is in everyone's best interests to let you go alum - good luck!

For what it is worth, I know of two different sorority members who worked out a payment plan with their respective chapters when they went alum. Both chapters were thrilled to have the extra cash flow versus nothing. And I am sure they were even more thrilled to retain their sisters as members for life.

1. I think it would be best for me and my fiance agrees

Is your fiance also going early alum?

[DaffyKD]

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

i sent an email to our vp 3 about it asking for information to see if i have to pay dues for this semester if i wanna go early alum

The purpose of Early Alumna Status is so that a young lady can stay a member of the organization, but not have a financial burden. You should not have to pay the dues for this semester, but you will also be unable to participate in any of the activities with the collegiate members.

I would really like to encourage you to take Early Alumna Status vs. turning in your pin. You will still be a member of the organization, your daughters will still be legacy, you will still be able to join an alumnae group at any time in the future. Joining a sorority is for life, not just while you are in school. Embrace your alumnae sisters. You will find that many have kids the same age as your kids, you will find that some others took Early Alumna Status for the same reason. When you join an alumna group, they are so happy that younger members are joining that no one gives you any hassle "ooooh, you were pregnant while still in school." They care about you and love to share in the stories of your childrens' accomplishments. They will cheer you on some day if your daughter goes through recruitment.

Please talk to a member of your alumnae advisory board about going Alumnae Status, they are very versed in the requirements, and will encourage you. Please don't rush to turn in your pin, which is a decision you may come to regret someday.

DaffyKD