I'm an emotional wreck

[nikki1920]

If she's asking you for space, then give it to her. It seems like she's confused about something, as other posters are saying, and needs some space to figure it out.

If she is worth it to you, give her some space to stretch her wings out. If she returns to you, then you have your answer. It sounds like you are trying--without meaning to--force her to come to the same level of emotion that you have for her. Stop forcing it. Don't hold on to her so tightly that she feels trapped. Tell her that you will be there for her when she's ready, and then back off a bit.

((hugs))

[Animate]

Originally Posted by nikki1920

If she's asking you for space, then give it to her. It seems like she's confused about something, as other posters are saying, and needs some space to figure it out.

If she is worth it to you, give her some space to stretch her wings out. If she returns to you, then you have your answer. It sounds like you are trying--without meaning to--force her to come to the same level of emotion that you have for her. Stop forcing it. Don't hold on to her so tightly that she feels trapped. Tell her that you will be there for her when she's ready, and then back off a bit.

((hugs))

Interesting take. I thought I was giving her space, maybe she needs more, maybe not. I'll probably bring it up with her. You may have a point about me unknowingly trying to force her into things. That is actually something that she said she doesn't want to do, which I can understand.

[James]

Act as if you are no longer going out and live your life accordingly. You are no longer together.

Treat her with respect and courtesy but allow her to initiate contact for now, at least until you start establishing a single guy pattern.

A healthy dose of indifference could be exactly what she needs to put things in perspective. If she doesn't care that you are not around, you have an answer. If she does care she may realize she is losing you and stop playing weird mind games.

Edited to add: you are way to available to her. She isn't showing you anywhere near the same level of respect. I am offended that she has tortured you for a semester and I am not even you.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by James

Act as if you are no longer going out and live your life accordingly. You are no longer together.

Treat her with respect and courtesy but allow her to initiate contact for now, at least until you start establishing a single guy pattern.

A healthy dose of indifference could be exactly what she needs to put things in perspective. If she doesn't care that you are not around, you have an answer. If she does care she may realize she is losing you and stop playing weird mind games.

Edited to add: you are way to available to her. She isn't showing you anywhere near the same level of respect. I am offended that she has tortured you for a semester and I am not even you.

Yup.

It could be she's trying to get you to break up with her because she doesn't have the balls to do it herself. I know all about that, I did it. (I was 18, cut me slack.)

[Educatingblue]

Originally Posted by James

Edited to add: you are way to available to her. She isn't showing you anywhere near the same level of respect. I am offended that she has tortured you for a semester and I am not even you.

James is right on point...

I used to be in your same situation. I felt the same way you do about a guy and he never made me a priority and basically did everything in his power to "show" me that he needed his space. Finally after 2 years of an emotional roller coaster, I decided to just let him do his own thing. During that time, I met my husband and realized what it was like to be truly loved, appreciated, and respected. Once the old bf realized I had moved on, it was too late to get me back !

As other posters have mentioned, give her some space, but don't let life pass you by in the process. Hang out with some good friends, do things with the family over the holidays, or work-out.

[starang21]

do you.

if she comes back, then it's all good. but don't pine away. and don't wait. get a "friend"

LOL

[OOhsoflyDELTA#9]

Originally Posted by starang21

do you.

if she comes back, then it's all good. but don't pine away. and don't wait. get a "friend"

LOL

you are a trip......lol....

[AKA_Monet]

Animate-

You must really LOVE this young lady to say all the things you are saying without hateful language and anger. You are really trying hard to make this relationship workout.

In ONE word, what do you LOVE about this girl? You don't have to answer me, and the answer should come immediately on your tongue... If it does, then you know what you must do for this holiday, even if it comes out of a candy machine...

But, if it is tough, then you have to allow it be broken off. Sure, as friends and duties, you can spend time during the holidays. But, when it is over, it over. Take time to get over that.

What I think it is, her holiday times are not like your holiday times. She is having a tough time balancing the time for two. It sounds like she cares for you, and she knows how you enjoy the holidays with your family, she may or may not have similar experiences. If she does not have similar experiences, she knows that she has to scrip and scrape for everything she gets. That is why she is strongly focused.

It does not sound like there is somebody else. It just seems that the more you pressure her about your relationship status and doing things with her, the more she is pulling away, because like she said, she has confusion, when you press her.

You want her to enter your serious relationship willingly. She may feel she has not lived a life she wants, yet. You need to allow her to do that. However, you need to make clear, you will move forward, too...

Sweetheart, you email me if you have difficulty... And remember, what Christmas is all about...

[AKA_Monet]

Animate--

BREATHE!!!


In 5-10 second inhale/exhale breaths...

You need to regain your mindfulness and peace...