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Benzgirl...no I wasn't that quick. I wish that I was. However...the second round came and went. I can honestly say that I was a bit reticent. The Jewish thing was unnerving. I really hadn't heard that sort of prejudice in a long time. Again, honestly, I probably wasn't a shining star second round. I liked the laid back house, but were they too laid back? The popular house....I saw the girl that I met first round and that was nice. The nameless house was just that. And as for the last house....when you stare at a flower arrangement and talk about it...for 5 minutes...you know that it just isn't happening.
After second round I went to talk to my rush counselor. It was a brief meeting. I asked her what was the deal? Why had Ms. Chicago said what she did...and...My rush counselor looked at me and said...(no quotation marks here because I am paraphrasing...35 years is a long time ago)...Remember everyone is looking for a house where actives and pledges are COMFORTABLE together. What is your comfort zone? And what is theirs?
And...again, because times were very different...lots of girls went to college then to meet their husbands...she added that I should think very hard about the man I would wish to marry. What did I want from a partner and what was importent to me? (Please read between her lines.)
Invitations came out for third round. In the waiting area I met some other girls, all Jewish. They had, by and large the same outcome that I had. One girl, blond and blue eyes said that she would never join a Jewish house. (She didn't. But she dated and married a very Jewish guy. I have seen her over the years. We aren't friends but are nodding acquaintances.)
The other girls had the same experience that I did. The Actives were pleasant and then...nothing.
Third round invites: I received one. Most of us (now we were an "us" I guess) received one. A few of us received two. Ms. Chicago was crying. She was dropped by the top four houses. I felt terrible for her. Ms. Chicago, in the bravado of an 18 year old dropped out of rush. She told me that she would never pledge a "loser" house. So many questions/comments popped into my head but silence is sometimes a good thing. I thought that I might as well see this through, even though I wasn't sure how much I could relate to the laid back house.
What Not To Do During a Rush Party: I was placed with two Actives and one other rushee. It was obvious to me that we were both being scrutinized very carefully. (I later learned that if you were down to one party prior to Pref that if the house wasn't willing to bid you, they had to cut you before Pref to spare your feelings. Evidently there had been some girls in prior years who opened an empty envelope. To quote my daughters, "harsh."). I am middle of the road politically so (yes, don't panic...politics...stay out of this area...please) and the other rushee was from a mega farm. Somehow the subject came up, not from me, about the Bracero (migrant worker program). This girl said that she didn't understand why there was such a big fuss about those people. They made good money while working for her father and why did they have so many children anyway? I don't know why I did it. I opened my mouth and said and how many weeks a year do they work for your father? Two...three? The silence was deafening.
Do not do this. Do not. As the words came out of my mouth I knew I was done.
Except the Actives were the most politically liberal girls on the row. They were thrilled. This time I got a pass. Sometimes inserting both feet in your mouth isn't so bad. At least I was memorable.
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