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At Duke we had three levels, from least to most serious:
1st - Lavalier - this meant you were dating exclusively. You wear the fraternity's letters, so the guy gets some minor "punishment" from his brothers
2nd - Pin - this is the more serious step before engagement. You actually wear his pin, so the guy gets in much more trouble with his brothers
3rd - engagement
These also corresponded to our candle pass. If you blew out the candle on the first time around, it meant you were lavaliered (not sure if that is actually a word), second time meant you were pinned and third time meant engaged!
I've never heard of swallowing your lavalier if it doesn't work out. I don't think that would logically work out at Duke, since in theory you should also swallow his pin and the engagement ring.
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