My daughter is spoiled---by her grandparents. Her dad and I provide the basics (and we are co-parenting) and Nana and Poppy give her all the extras she wants, within reason, and assuming that she's earned them by doing well in school. My daughter has chores that she must do everyday before she's allowed to watch TV, play outside, play her video games, or go places with friends. When she does above and beyond in school, she gets rewarded, but is expected to get good grades. When she does poorly, her privledges cease. Her father and I do our best to try to keep her grounded and are trying to teach her the value of money.
I was spoiled rotten.
I got most of what I asked for, but I rarely asked for things other than books. I didnt ask for a car until I got to college and by then I needed one, and I am still driving it, 193k miles later. My parents did ok, but I understood that just because I wanted it didn't automatically mean I would get it. I was expected to do my job and do it well (i.e, maintain good grades) and to do chores around the house without being reminded to do them. If I did that, I could ask for pretty much what I wanted and get it sometimes.
Good parents, I think, balance a child's wants and needs and adjusts their expectations as the child grows and matures. And a parent has the right to say no every now and then just because you can.
Threaded Mode