When should a couples parents meet?

SydneyK · #1 10-22-2007, 11:32 AM

My parents didn't meet my hubby's parents until the week of the wedding. Same for my brother - our parents didn't meet his wife's parents until the week of the wedding. In fact, my brother has been married for over a decade now, and my parents have spent time with my sister-in-laws parents only once since the wedding. I've been married for 5 years now, and since the wedding was over, my parents have never spent time with my parents-in-law.

As far as I can tell, unless you live close to both sets of parents, it doesn't make any difference. I can see how it would be weird if the parents didn't meet and you and your spouse (and both sets of parents) are from the same area. But other than that, I don't see how it would affect anything.

ForeverRoses · #2 10-22-2007, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneyK

My parents didn't meet my hubby's parents until the week of the wedding. Same for my brother - our parents didn't meet his wife's parents until the week of the wedding. In fact, my brother has been married for over a decade now, and my parents have spent time with my sister-in-laws parents only once since the wedding. I've been married for 5 years now, and since the wedding was over, my parents have never spent time with my parents-in-law.

As far as I can tell, unless you live close to both sets of parents, it doesn't make any difference. I can see how it would be weird if the parents didn't meet and you and your spouse (and both sets of parents) are from the same area. But other than that, I don't see how it would affect anything.

I agree. My mother and my mother-in-law met at one of my wedding showers (I had three- his family, my family, and a work one since our families were in different places from where we lived). I don't think the Dads met until the week of the wedding. Now they see each other on my kids birthdays and I think they exchange Christmas cards. However, since they don't live close to one another, they don't really NEED to have a close relationship.

It's more important that you know your future in-laws (and hopefully like them).

Glitter650 · #3 10-22-2007, 01:49 PM

My parents and his parents met about two weeks after we got engaged, as they happened to be in town for his birthday.
I think it just has to do with timing and where everyone lives. But if you're planning on marrying this woman, it would be nice to set it up soon, depending on how close everyone is to each other, but I don't think it really matters if it's before or after you propose.

KSUViolet06 · #4 10-22-2007, 01:51 PM

I think it's totally appropriate for the parents to meet each other once the couple is engaged. Most of my married friends' parents didn't meet until maybe their engagement party. There were a few who say their parents met before then, but not many.

Cluey · #5 10-22-2007, 03:02 PM

Maybe I am just old fashioned, but I think it's important to get to know each other's families. To echo some of the other sentiments, if I am in a long-term relationship, I definitely want to meet some of the family members, so I can see what I am getting myself into. Not that I think my family has to be BFF with my future husband's family, but they should at least meet/mingle/get to know one another.

And you never know these days...

MysticCat · #6 10-22-2007, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cluey

To echo some of the other sentiments, if I am in a long-term relationship, I definitely want to meet some of the family members, so I can see what I am getting myself into. Not that I think my family has to be BFF with my future husband's family, but they should at least meet/mingle/get to know one another.

I agree. I would never propose without getting to know her family first. All of these people are going to be part of your life from here on out. I would want to see how she interacts with my family, how they interact with her, how she interacts with her family, and how I get along with her family. That's all part of getting to know her better.

Of course, it was somewhat moot in our case -- her sister introduced us.

DaemonSeid · #7 10-22-2007, 03:20 PM

Has anyone ever met someone's parents and you got along with them like oil and water? And no matter what you did, they were just determined to not like you? What did you do about it?

DSTCHAOS · #8 10-22-2007, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Has anyone ever met someone's parents and you got along with them like oil and water? And no matter what you did, they were just determined to not like you? What did you do about it?

Nope. I'm too likeable.

Even if I had met some like that years ago, I wouldn't have cared because I was too young to see future potential in my mate. It would've just sucked for the time being.

lauralaylin · #9 10-22-2007, 03:04 PM

I think you should do whatever works best for you. I had my mom meet my husband's parents when we were engaged, and it was just uncomfortable. If I could go back I'd just let them meet whenever it worked out (like at a shower). There was no real reason for them to meet after all. Unless they are both very involved with the wedding planning or this is important to you, I say just let it work itself out.