Things you want to say (but shouldn't) outloud at work

[SoCalGirl]

When you called yourself my equal, I nearly bent over with laughter. Silly crackhead!

[kathykd2005]

Is it absolutely necessary to drink excessively at the end of the week, at work events, and even at functions involving adolescents? Come on now--you're 38, not 18.

[AGDee]

I really thought he would've been fired on his first day of work, when you could smell the alcohol on his breath from across the office.. not after 5-6 years of being clearly drunk at work. After years of nobody in the department being fired, there has been about one a week for the past two months. Cleaning house? Budget restraints? What is going on???

[ZTAngel]

Why the hell have you not fired this guy? He does nothing and everyone hates him. You've had numerous complaints about this guy and he screwed up a huge project which you had me fix. The best part is it only took me 5 hours to redo the same project which took him 2 days to mess up - and there was absolutely no useful data on his portion of the project either! He's cocky and arrogant and you've had a number of people tell you that they refuse to work with him because of that. You're either completely oblivious (which I don't see how since everyone and their mother has complained about him) or you refuse to admit that hiring him was a big mistake. Please, please, please get rid of him. Just the thought of him makes my skin crawl.

[AlphaFrog]

Postive #1 of not having a coworker, starting today: I can bring the same thing for lunch everyday, and not have to hear "OMG - you're having that AGAIN?!?!?!?"