advice needed

[aopirose]

I am sorry, auburnmom2007. I don’t see where anyone asked either you or your daughter to lie. You may not have known the women on the list handed to you, but did you all contact any of the women that you did know? You may have said that you did and I just don’t recall at the moment.

Teachers, women from church, and neighbors can be good resources as well as club members. I have found a few young women on our Alumnae Panhellenic lists whom I knew but did not realize they were interested in Greek Life. From there, I was able to contact them and offer assistance. If I didn't know them, we could usually network to find someone who did.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by aopirose

I am sorry, auburnmom2007. I don’t see where anyone asked either you or your daughter to lie. You may not have known the women on the list handed to you, but did you all contact any of the women that you did know? You may have said that you did and I just don’t recall at the moment.

Teachers, women from church, and neighbors can be good resources as well as club members. I have found a few young women on our Alumnae Panhellenic lists whom I knew but did not realize they were interested in Greek Life. From there, I was able to contact them and offer assistance.

Exactly. Plus there's a difference in my book between someone you've never met and someone who you may have just met. Alumnae Panhellenic volunteers expect to be contacted by PNM's they've never met. They take the time to talk either in person or on the phone. That's why these alums do this, to help out PNM's who don't know alums from every sorority represented on the campus. Another vital aspect of Alum Panhellenic's is to educate PNM's on what the Recruitment process is going to be like.

[Fleur de Lis]

Originally Posted by Zillini

Exactly. Plus there's a difference in my book between someone you've never met and someone who you may have just met. Alumnae Panhellenic volunteers expect to be contacted by PNM's they've never met. They take the time to talk either in person or on the phone. That's why these alums do this, to help out PNM's who don't know alums from every sorority represented on the campus. Another vital aspect of Alum Panhellenic's is to educate PNM's on what the Recruitment process is going to be like.

When I was Reference Chair, I would receive literally hundreds of names from nearby universities begging for recommendations for the girls coming through. Usually, I could find another Kappa who knew the girl to write a recommendation for her. But because Atlanta is huge, sometimes all I could find was a connection (like a teacher or a student I knew personally). Based on their reputation and yearbook info for activities, I would write the recommendation and mark "information from a reliable source". Of course, I have never had the back-fire that Zillini describes, but I think it's alumnae's responsibility to help our chapters make informed decisions that include more than one 20 minute conversation.

[NUBlue&Blue]

Originally Posted by aopirose

I am sorry, auburnmom2007. I don’t see where anyone asked either you or your daughter to lie. You may not have known the women on the list handed to you, but did you all contact any of the women that you did know? You may have said that you did and I just don’t recall at the moment.

Teachers, women from church, and neighbors can be good resources as well as club members. I have found a few young women on our Alumnae Panhellenic lists whom I knew but did not realize they were interested in Greek Life. From there, I was able to contact them and offer assistance. If I didn't know them, we could usually network to find someone who did.

It's a lot of work. It takes a lot of time to get recs and find people who know your daughter. For 6 houses at Georgia Tech with my older daughter, it took me an entire summer to get everything together, and that's not even in the SEC. Yes, I'm sure your daughter is beautiful and smart. So is mine. So is everybody's--that's what we're getting at here...you have to do the work if you want it to happen and that's all there is to it. And even AFTER you do the work, sometimes it doesn't work out. Lesson one in real life.