advice needed

[ufpiphi]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

When the option of looking into COB was brought up, she really felt like she wouldn't want to be in a group if they didn't want her to begin with. .

Just reiterating what FSU Zeta and DeltaBetaBay said. It's so difficult to adequately assess a PNM is the brief moment which they are in your chapter house. For example, if a PNM enters my chapter house during the first round, she only meets 2-3 of my sisters. She bases her opinion on the house on these 3 actives, while our entire chapter bases our opinion of the PNM on the opinion of the 3 actives. It's the most efficient system, but not necessarily the best. Both sides must use the best judgment and discretion in making decisions. That said, your daughter could find a wonderful home through COB- perhaps in a chapter she might otherwise not have considered once she meets more actives in that house.

Best of luck to her, whichever path she chooses to take.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by ufpiphi

That said, your daughter could find a wonderful home through COB- perhaps in a chapter she might otherwise not have considered once she meets more actives in that house.

This is a very good point.

I must also clarify what I said previously by saying that, just because a PNM doesn't receive a bid, that doesn't mean that no one wanted her to begin with. That's just how my friend saw it. And, since she obviously never had a Greek experience, she was never aware of just how many chapters probably DID want her. To echo what others have said before, mistakes can happen, PNMs can be mistaken for one another, all kinds of things can (and unfortunately do) go wrong.

I hope your daughter finds what she's looking for. If that's Greek life, then there are probably still options available. If it's not, then there are definitely other options available.