"You'll end up where you were meant to"...

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

Carnation - If that's the way it's done at the college where you work and you don't approve why don't you work to make the selection process for these groups more inclusive. You could end up being a real hero to the rest of the students.

Or, you can just accept the fact that this is the way the world works, and get over it. Or, you can have a nervous brakedown by the time you're 30 worrying about things you can't control.

Are you going to tell a future potential employer that he should stop hiring his partner's sons and hire you because that's what's fair and inclusive?

[Zillini]

I'd like to get back to the original topic, at least in regards to highly competitive Recruitments. Yes PNM's get their hearts broken and no it's not always fair. But let's face it, life isn't going to be fair.

For many of these young women this may be the first time they've ever experienced rejection. It's a life lesson everyone needs to learn because odds are they will get rejected again sometime. Once they graduate they'll interview for a job and they're not always going to get it even if they are qualified. Depending on the job, there may be a lot of other qualified candidates and the employer needs to narrow the field somehow. No one is saying they aren't good people, just that they aren't a good fit with that group or the right person for that particular job.

My heart breaks for PNM's that don't get bids to the Chapter they've been dreaming about or maybe don't even get a bid at all. But it's not the end of the world even if it feels like it at the time. Chin up, life goes on.

[carnation]

I was thinking of this thread today. It's one of the family jokes that if I were a Disney princess, the others feel I would clearly be Belle whereas I have always insisted that I'm Sleeping Beauty. (I've felt that way for decades--since Sleeping Beauty came out when I was a child.)

So it would be like someone insisting she was a sure fit for Sleeping Beauty Sorority (Sigma Beta Sigma?) when the whole world, except her, knows she's clearly a Belle.

[amanda6035]

Originally Posted by carnation

I was thinking of this thread today. It's one of the family jokes that if I were a Disney princess, the others feel I would clearly be Belle whereas I have always insisted that I'm Sleeping Beauty. (I've felt that way for decades--since Sleeping Beauty came out when I was a child.)

So it would be like someone insisting she was a sure fit for Sleeping Beauty Sorority (Sigma Beta Sigma?) when the whole world, except her, knows she's clearly a Belle.

Hahah, slight hijack - Sigma Beta Sigma is a local at Young Harris College in north GA. My best friend is one.

[orchid2]

On the original topic...

I may hold a minority opinion in this thread, but I do not believe that everybody ends up where they are meant to be. I have seen several girls go through recruitment, receive heavy cuts, and pledge groups where they don't necessarily fit because they feel that SOME kind of greek experience is better than NOTHING, and they are willing to keep an open mind and make the best of what "fate" has given them. For these girls, the alternative is to either wait a year and rush again (missing out on greek life for a year, school does not hold an informal spring recruitment) or take a chance on COB (risky that they will still be non-greek for a year if these houses remain at quota!). Sometimes this works out beautifully and the girl realizes that she is in the right place. Other times, it doesn't. I know girls who remained in XYZ or ABC because they craved sisterhood, but never felt at home. There may be a life lesson to be learned and some kind of reason for the experience, but I honestly cannot believe that these girls ended up "where they were meant to be." Just my 2 cents.

Anybody can find happiness if it is sought out with enough fervor, but depending on personality of the girl and of the group, that happiness may not come as naturally for her in ABC as it would in XYZ...

Bottom line, it's what you make of your experience.

[carnation]

Yea!!!!!orchid2, you've said perfectly what I've been attempting to say!!Thank you!!!!

[33girl]

If you're at the sort of school where you have to take what is offered you or risk not having any Greek experience - i.e. if you don't pledge first semester freshman year, your chances of getting any sort of bid go waaaaay down - those chapters are usually large enough that I would think you could find at least a FEW people you can bond with.

I think that the women who end up unhappy are the ones who keep dwelling on "what if I'd been an XYZ?" That's natural and normal for everyone to wonder about, even if you like where you are, unless your life turns out perfect. But you can either decide to make yourself happy or wallow in what might have been.

I'm sure there are just as many women out there who get their first choice and find out it's not what it's cracked up to be and are even more disillusioned.