Frat Life is not what it's cracked up to be

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally Posted by treblk

(((((sistergreek Jody))))))))) you really touched me here! I hope all goes beyond well for you. Your story is a ture testiment to what sisterhood is all about with or without letters! You are in my thoughts!

Ditto! Your strength is uplifting to me! ((((JODY)))) Stay strong.

[Maestro1]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

Seriously, many of you do not get what I am saying. Well, I know you do but you still have on your fraternity/sorority blinders on. Neos can't relate, but graduate/leave college, get out into the real world and let some of the newness wear off. I'm sure everyone that pledged something was told that your organization would be there when you needed something, right or wrong? I dare any of you to tell me that your frat/soror was there when you truly needed them!!

APhiAlien1996,

I wanted to share my thoughts with you last week, but thought it best to collect my thoughts before posting. Back in April 2006 I left my old job to take a better paying job. I was still a neo in our graduate chapter, and to be honest taking this job would mean I would have less time to participate in the chapter, due to my daily commute and my work hours.

Nonetheless, Brothers still managed to support my decision to move onward and upward in my professional career. They took me out to lunch, gave me gifts to help celebrate my new job, I felt like I had crossed all over again. A few short months later, my job went through some restructuring and of course it was "last hired, first fired". I was out of work in the dead of the summer. My wife and I were expecting a child and the only thing I had to fall back on was unemployment.

One of my LB's was quick to come to my phinancial assistance by making me a loan during a terribly tough financial period. He and his wife were "looking" to help someone out because that's what God placed in their hearts.

Sure, I forwarded my resume to a few brothers to pass around their job. But I did not lean on the shield and EXPECT them to get me a job. If I was lucky, I hoped to get at least an interview. If I can't sell myself to any prospective employer, then who can?

I never got a job, or an interview as a result of passing my resume to Bruhs, but nor do I feel it was their obligation to find me a job. Alpha Phi Alpha does not feed my family, that is my responsibility.

I found a new job recently, and I still commute to work each day. One day I was walking near a strip of restaurants and saw a brother with Alpha plates on his car. I walked up and introduced myself, and he immediately pulled over to talk. We went to lunch that day, and before I could pull my wallet out he had already paid for both of our lunches. It was my intention to pay for his lunch, but I guess in the spirit of brotherhood he beat me to it.

My LB's will see my wife at the coffee shop and pay for her coffee. I have seen frat brothers stranded on the side of the road, and stopped with no hesitation.

I support the undergraduate chapters on two separate college campuses by attending at least one service project or event, even though both are separated by about 50 miles. I make it a point to attend service project and participate as much as I can within my own chapter.......even though I am still not financial due to my setbacks last summer, and my newborn child.

In fact, when I told my wife how much or little my dues were SHE admonished me for not being financial, and SHE'S NOT GREEK! Apparently she felt that "EXCUSES ARE TOOLS OF THE INCOMPETENT!"

A wise woman once said, "Not only did you choose Alpha, but they choose you!" I respect you opinion, but if I were in your position I would hope a brother would tell me, "The same effort you put into becoming a member of Alpha Phi Alpha, is the same effort you need to put into bettering yourself and your position in life."

Our alumni chapter has a great relationship with our undergraduate chapter. In this world of "made" vs. "paper" and the perceptions about undergrad and graduate "processes", we've been able to work together and be successful as Alpha Men.

In closing, I have helped young men and women of various BGLO's by hiring them, and then providing references. My obligation is to help ALL young men and women, not just Alpha men. I have no problem providing references for the many Sigma's, Alpha's, Kappa's, and Delta's who were once my former employees.

No doubt you've had some negative experiences, but do not generalize them to include the entire organization. This brother is willing to help you out in whatever way I can. Hit me up with a PM.

Sorry for the novel people! I just got carried away!

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

I dare any of you to tell me that your frat/soror was there when you truly needed them!!

They were--many times.

{{{Jody}}}

[1908Revelations]

Originally Posted by Animate

Like others have said, people are people first and foremost.

And neos can relate!

<---- Neo

THANK YOU ANIMATE!

IF my sorors can come through for me they will, if they can't then they won't, but this applies to everyone! I can not go to my church, job, neighbor, or whomever expecting them to make sure my every need is met, so why should I expect AKA to do the same? Of course AKA may provide connections for me, but at the end of the day I should think about how would I find a job if I were not an AKA. On my own!

OH yeah....I am a neo and a undergraduate, so......I guess that messes up your diagnosis that neos know nothing.

[Infamous12]

"When things go wrong as they sometimes will..."

If this setback has made you doubt your brotherhood...it makes me wonder how strong your brotherhood (read: AphiAliens brotherhood, not that of Alpha) really is. As an echo to much of what has been said before, not only have my Sorors been there for me at the drop of a hat, but so have my Bruhs. I could easier count the amount of breaths I take a day than to count the countless times my sands and fellow greeks have been there for me in whatever capacity I needed them in.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by Jody

I was diagnosed with breast cancer April 1, 2004...

Soror Jody,

When your ready to discuss options, talk to me. I know some people who would do favors for me at some places. It will require you to vacation...

It's nice to hear that we see support from our linesisters after so many years. I see it with my all the time. Our Soror, my mom, sees it with hers.

[ladygreek]

Wow, just wow to this whole thread and the other one. There are just some things I would never put on a PUBLIC message board about my beloved sorority. I mean we all have a few warts, but we just do what we need to do to heal them--PRIVATELY.

So much for hood.

[Phrozen1ne]

I can say that my Phrat was truly there when I needed him. There are times when you may give anyone, be it a bro, a friend, or a relative a resume and things may fall through the crack or yeah they may play you. Personally, if a brother can get me an interview cool if not I don't hold it against him because I may not know the situation. As far as feeling that certain bros play you shady, you could have left that on a BROTHER's ONLY listserve, not here.(JMHO) I am pretty sure it happens in other orgs, but to air out your own on a public listserve is not what's up. Also, what does another brother have to do with a brother being financial or not or participating in events? Aren't we here to do the work of Alpha? That sounds like excuses and we know what those are.....

[APhiAlien1996]

No. I chose to put it here and yes I did air out some dirty laundry, and I won't apologize for it either. This goes for everybody. Some of you missed the whole picture of what I wrote. Some of you just got diarrhea of the mouth and started running off about leaning on shields and financial and obligations. Neither one of those words were ever typed in the original post. This is the bottom line....people (frat brothers) try to use you with the fraternity crap about giving, giving, giving to the organization. Everything should not be about money all the time. Some of us are broke and don't have money, but those of us that are broke we can help out in other ways (time and effort). But should you need a helping hand, all of that talk goes out the window and you are left standing on you own. Don't get me wrong, houses of worship fit into this category as well. This isn't about a brother owing another brother a job. But, if you know something and you know someone is a need, turn that cat on to what's going on. that was my whole point. So, if my bruhs or anyone else feel offended.. tough tits. Get over it!!

[AlphaFrog]

It sounds like your mind is made up. Good for you. Why not just turn in your pin and be done with it then? It's so much easier to just blame your fraternity than to actually look at yourself and decide you're inadequate for what you're persuing.

[APhiAlien1996]

Excuse you!! You are barking up the wrong tree. Go find somebody to play with. I'm telling you, you don't want to get started here!!

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

It sounds like your mind is made up. Good for you. Why not just turn in your pin and be done with it then? It's so much easier to just blame your fraternity than to actually look at yourself and decide you're inadequate for what you're persuing.

[treblk]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

Excuse you!! You are barking up the wrong tree. Go find somebody to play with. I'm telling you, you don't want to get started here!!

sounds like that post made you mad...

[TonyB06]

...Professor, please shut this down. It's past time.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

Excuse you!! You are barking up the wrong tree. Go find somebody to play with. I'm telling you, you don't want to get started here!!

I'm sorry...did I hit a nerve? The truth hurts sometime.

[Senusret I]

His mind is made up -- not even Maestro's post was helpful to him.

I, for one, am not worried about it because I have been both active and inactive, and I know why I left and why I came back.

It's a marriage -- you MAKE it work.