Playas till the day we die...

[pinkies up]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Wow. A woman that wants a man to take the lead? Women usually jump down my throat for voicing my opinion on this. I think that's why the divorce rate is so high because men won't take the lead. That's Biblical. It's the man's job to take care of his wife. It's not her job to take care of him. Women aren't designed to take on the load. Women get frustrated and stressed when she feels she has to take on the load. I agree with you all the way. In a marriage a woman has the option if she wants to work or not. I know this sounds crazy but if she doesn't want to work, then the joker she's with needs to do what he's gotta do to make ends meet. Now, of course if she does want to work then that's always a blessing, but she doesn't have to. That's all I've ever seen my dad do, was lead the family. Sons are going to do what they see their fathers do. I was raised to lead. The problem is finding a woman who wants to be led. Today's women say "I can take care of myself. I don't need a man to take care of me." That's part of the problem. Any man that lets his woman lead him, in my book is one sorry poor excuse for a man.

The Bible says wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands. It also says submit yourselves to one another. That doesn't mean for the man to submit to her lead, it means he is to submit to her needs, and she will submit to his lead.

And it took me a loooong time to understand all of this. I was a single parent for a while before I met my husband. It was hard to transition from being totally in charge of my household to allowing my husband to be the head of the household. It took some work, (and we're still working on it daily), but it can be done.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by pinkies up

And it took me a loooong time to understand all of this. I was a single parent for a while before I met my husband. It was hard to transition from being totally in charge of my household to allowing my husband to be the head of the household. It took some work, (and we're still working on it daily), but it can be done.

Don't give up. Keep working at it. Through Christ it will all come together.

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by pinkies up

And it took me a loooong time to understand all of this. I was a single parent for a while before I met my husband. It was hard to transition from being totally in charge of my household to allowing my husband to be the head of the household. It took some work, (and we're still working on it daily), but it can be done.

i am working on this as well...its hard to surrender that control when you have acted as male and female in your household. i think its also been a form of insurance for me, knowing that if this doesnt work out, i can do it myself. it ends up coming across wrong to him, not that i want to run things myself, but that i dont want HIM to have control.

[marquise1911]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

i am working on this as well...its hard to surrender that control when you have acted as male and female in your household. i think its also been a form of insurance for me, knowing that if this doesnt work out, i can do it myself. it ends up coming across wrong to him, not that i want to run things myself, but that i dont want HIM to have control.

I think what we forget is that both men and women lose some forms of control when they unite as one. When I was married I didn't choose what I ate, what the house looked like, often what I wore, and what we did in free time. I trusted her with those decisions.

OT, I know how you feel, but that ain't gonna work. "Baby it's not that I don't want you to lead, I just don't want you to have control." . In order for him to lead, you gotta take your hand off the steering wheel. BUT!!! You're still in the passenger seat and you can help him navigate. And when y'all get lost...chew him out!

[OneTimeSBX]

very true marquise...

and another thing: it is a man/head of households responsibility to teach/train the woman how to be head of household. not so that she steps on toes, but in case she needs to step up to that role!

[marquise1911]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

very true marquise...

and another thing: it is a man/head of households responsibility to teach/train the woman how to be head of household. not so that she steps on toes, but in case she needs to step up to that role!

OT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is wsup!!!!

I always stress that women know how to do things by themselves b4 the get married. My sister is a strong women, but she is helpless when it comes to practical things like changing a flat or lifting a heavy box. She was crippled by the fact she had 5 brothers at her beck and call her whole life. Women should watch and learn because one day he's gonna say, "Baby could you take care of this for me"

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by marquise1911

OT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is wsup!!!!

I always stress that women know how to do things by themselves b4 the get married. My sister is a strong women, but she is helpless when it comes to practical things like changing a flat or lifting a heavy box. She was crippled by the fact she had 5 brothers at her beck and call her whole life. Women should watch and learn because one day he's gonna say, "Baby could you take care of this for me"

i am a firm believer in that since i now have older women relatives who are now widowed, and know nothing about how to take care of a household. my father has insured that my mother knows EVERYTHING about the bills, payments, insurance, etc. she stayed at home with us until i was 13, and i feel he absolutely owed it to her to show her what to do in case he couldnt be around. cooking and cleaning do not run a household!