Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended

[adpiucf]

I went to a really extravagant and no-expenses spared wedding for a sorority sister in Carmel. It was a Jewish wedding on a Sunday evening, held at the The Lodge at Pebble Beach. The wedding itself was amazing... my date, however, was not...

This was a guy who had graduated from an Ivy school, good family, fraternity man, and who had up to this point behaved like a total gentleman. Our dates had been really nice and romantic, and I thought he was the cat's meow. We'd been dating for a few months...

How wrong I was...

We had driven up 5 hours from LA to Carmel and stayed overnight from Sat to Sun. He was an absolute gentleman on Saturday... and then came the Sunday wedding... He proceeded to get incredibly wasted at the wedding and had to tell everyone, "You know, I'm not Jewish, but I was Lazer Wolf in Fiddler on the Roof... in high school!"

It gets worse. He got up on our table and sang Fiddler on the Roof songs, until I pulled him down. I realized we had to get out of there. So we left the wedding early for our 5 hour drive home.

It was totally pitch-black dark outside and within the first 30 minutes of the drive, my date rolled down my window and stuck his head out of it-- like a panting dog.

Then something happened. I thought at first, "Is it snowing?"

Nope... we were driving along at about 70 MPH and my date puked out the window... and in the car... and the wind whipped around and the puke ended up all over my car, ME, my hair, you name it.

To make matters worse, when I dropped this loser off at this place in Santa Monica, he tried to kiss me goodnight!

I dropped the car off for detailing the next morning and tipped the cleaners really well!

"Lazer Wolf" sent me an apology email, but I never spoke to him again!

[VandalSquirrel]

The worst one I know about, I didn't attend. Long dramatic story, but a girl who had been one of my bffs all through junior and high school decided to get married. I was living thousands of miles away in another state going to college, and never met the guy. I remember she sent me a letter all excited about the wedding, but then put conditions on me to give me an invite. She accused me of not accepting the guy, blah blah blah, and to be honest I never met him because when I was home visiting she blew me off to spend time with him, to the point I was home for winter break three weeks, and never saw her or met the dude. However she invited my family, who didn't go because she was just being a freako.

For all the conditions she put on me, and her other general ridiculousness, she got divorced, HA HA HA!

So on to the wedding. She wore a lingerie nightgown ensemble from Frederick's of Hollywood as a dress. Her flowers weren't fresh, they weren't silk, oh no, they were plastic and designed by a very tragic drag queen. The bridesmaids wore black, some lace, others leather. She gave the guests bad directions and they got lost (it was outdoors in a park), and neglected to mention the fee to get into the park. The food was a BBQ (nothing wrong with that), but she also made it a potluck, but people weren't aware of it so they didn't bring anything. And last, but not least, a skunk sprayed not once, but twice. Her reception then matched her attitude and behavior, it stank!

I recently attended a sister's wedding at a very classy resort at Lake Coeur d'Alene. The invitation said semi-formal/cocktail and it was on a golf course (which has a dresscode anyway). Most of the guys were there with a lady, and and least in my case, he was a real trooper and went with me to buy a tie and shirt to coordinate with my dress. The other husbands and boyfriends were in similar outfits, and we all looked lovely. However two guys showed up, one in CARGO SHORTS and the other in JEANS, sporting a University hooded sweatshirt, wtf? I knew it was bad when our dates said "I managed to put on a collared shirt and a tie, that's just tacky" and keep in mind, these are Idaho boys who drive trucks, kill their own food, and many have wardrobes straight out of Cabela's, so to hear them crack on any guy was just hysterical. The wedding was awesome and classy, but those two guys cracked us up, and hearing Idaho guys discuss it made it funnier. Oh and at the end of the night a storm came up and blew the tent away, but we were drunk and didn't care. I think the worst thing that weekend was running into not one, not two, not three, but FOUR guys I have dated, and I've only dated five while living here. The fifth one I had seen the week before.

[Still BLUTANG]

from a post I made earlier in the "ghetto weddings" thread:

Oh my goodness. Y'all have some funny stories. Here's mine:

My college roomate grew up in the same town I attended school. She still kept in touch with her people from high school who didn't go to college or remained in the area, so i kinda "hung out" with all of them when i wanted to get away from the campus crowd. SO.... our 1st year the roomate's ex-boyfriend made it known that he was going to try to reconcile with her, but she gave him no play. His retaliation: MARRYING ANOTHER GIRL THEY WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH.

No one took them seriously, so my roomate was like, I'll do anything to get u out of my life In about two weeks time, all the planning was done. We throw the girl a bridal shower and a bachelorette party because we were bored one weekend, and these two fools get married the next day in the bride's parents home. She comes down the stairs to K-Ci and JoJo's "All My Life" and is wearing her PROM DRESS... i lie to you not! the prom pictures were still on the mantle / altar. Her father officiates the wedding and that doesn't seem to bad right? WRONG!

This man stops the wedding to ask if the groom knows Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior... and we waited for him to respond.

and waited
.
.
.

and waited
.
.
.

I was in there CRYIN b/c the groom had this look on his face like, umm... can i get back to u on that? So after a definite pause, the bride's father / minister just starts praying and in the prayer says that this marriage will not be accepted in the Kingdom unless the groom repents and opens up his heart! We prayed for like 30 minutes until the groom finally realizes that this man was NOT going to finish the ceremony until he prayed the "Prayer of Salvation"... we were in the living room / church CRYING b/c we were trying to hold our laughter and the bride's father/ minister and other family members thought we were "moved by the Spirit"... after the wedding - the Bride gets into an argument with her father, gets her things from her bedroom, and declares, "I'm leaving! Don't ask when I'll be back!" and storms out of the house. Now we were laughing out loud and i had to run to the car b/c this mess was the absolute worst! So obviously, there is no reception. what do we do after the wedding you ask? We drive through the city (a caravan of like 5 cars full of college students and recent H.S. graduates) running red lights, honking our horns and blinking our lights, and we end up at the groom's apartment. Before we walk in the door he was like, "Hold on y'all, I promised my wife i would do this for her"... the groom runs into the house and turns on the stereo to DMX - Get At Me Dog and the proceeds to carry his bride over the threshold. We all enter the house and the newlyweds were like, "Make yourselves comfortable. Y'all can check the refigerator or order some pizza or something. We're about to have our honeymoon."

I had honestly blocked this ENTIRE weekend from memory until i started reading these posts. Thanks GC for giving me a good laugh for the rest of the week!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Still BLUTANG

"We're about to have our honeymoon."

There are no words...