A question for the Pretty Boys from a Pretty Girl.....

IncontRHOllable · #1 06-12-2007, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

No I'm not the last of a dying breed. There's a lot of nice men out there, the problem is a lot of women just don't want them. They want that low down trifling joker who's screwed several women and have other women on the side,while in a relationship.

Yes I have always been a one woman man since puberty. I've never even had the desire to want to be with more than one woman, and I know I never will. Fast dressing women are a big turn off for me. Women like that can't even get me aroused. Why do people have to sleep with everyone they meet? What are they trying to prove?

Correction, yes you are the last of a dying breed. Hmmmm, let's see. I don't believe in dating a lot of people. I believe that if you just wait, God will bring the person that you are suppose to marry to you (I know that opinion is not popular). From my experience, I have only had 3 boyfriends in my life, one of whom I was engaged to. They have left me because of the no sex/ no intimacy rule. When I say no intimacy, I mean just that. Holding hands and a kiss on the cheek is fine but that's it. My fiance left me too because although I broke my rule for him, he could not deal with the no intimacy rule ( I felt such guilt at breaking the rule that I recommitted myself to that rule and he did not want that, he felt that since we broke it we might as well keep breaking it. I disagreed the rest is history). So you see, there are women who want to live Godly lives, are living a wholesome and respectable lifetyle, but its the men who can't seem to control their hormones enough to wait on that kind of girl. It's the men that want the freak of the week or the down low boy toy. The thing that really angers me, is the men who passed me up because they heard about my rule and then latter on in life after they have had their share of women, want to come back to try to be with me so they can settle down. HECK NO!! Don't try to come back my way. What's even worse is those fools that tell me "you a nice girl, pretty and all that but its unrealistic to think some man is going to stay faithful to you when you not trying to show a brotha a little intimacy. I can wait a while, but you talking intimacy for marriage and that could be 3 years and a man ain't gonna wait that long and be faithful to you at the same time". Its sad but I am finding this to be true. The man that will do this is RARE!! He may still be on the potter's wheel. Now tell me again that wholesome men are out there and I'll tell you yes they are like the last of the Mohicans.

christiangirl · #2 06-12-2007, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IncontRHOllable

I believe that if you just wait, God will bring the person that you are suppose to marry to you (I know that opinion is not popular).

I believe that, too but....now, I don't doubt my man's sense of direction, but would it be too much interference if I drew him a map? Just in case?

Quote:

Originally Posted by IncontRHOllable

What's even worse is those fools that tell me "you a nice girl, pretty and all that but its unrealistic to think some man is going to stay faithful to you when you not trying to show a brotha a little intimacy. I can wait a while, but you talking intimacy for marriage and that could be 3 years and a man ain't gonna wait that long and be faithful to you at the same time".

WE ARE --->HERE<---. If I had a dime for every time I heard that from a man (and women for that matter), I'd be able to pay back my student loans.

KAPPAtivating · #3 06-12-2007, 05:49 PM

^^^Ladies I am so apologetic on behalf of the good men out here in the world. I am a firm believer that anything (and I mean anything) worth having is worth waiting for! I tell my young Kappa League boys all the time that 1)Quality before Quanity and 2)I believe God arranged our bodies in order of importance. In other words, your brain and your heart come before your loins!

IncontRHOllable · #4 06-13-2007, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

I believe that, too but....now, I don't doubt my man's sense of direction, but would it be too much interference if I drew him a map? Just in case?

WE ARE --->HERE<---. If I had a dime for every time I heard that from a man (and women for that matter), I'd be able to pay back my student loans.

Christiangirl, you and I both would be debt free

Honestly, I am not expecting a man to be perfect because I am not, although I am striving everyday for Godly perfection. However, I do expect him to be faithful and to respect my beliefs and values. What is really getting me is this expectation that after they go out and sew their oats all over the world, that we (good women) are supposed to be there waiting on them to ask us to marry them and live happily ever after. AS IF!! I mean I know there is a shortage of available black men but we are not that desperate because a sista like me will marry a white, Asian, Hispanic, etc.,

KAPPAtivating · #5 06-13-2007, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IncontRHOllable

What is really getting me is this expectation that after they go out and sew their oats all over the world, that we (good women) are supposed to be there waiting on them to ask us to marry them and live happily ever after. AS IF!! I mean I know there is a shortage of available black men but we are not that desperate because a sista like me will marry a white, Asian, Hispanic, etc.,

So what about the women who helped these dudes sew their oats, and they have six kids by six daddies? Are we supposed to be around waiting for them too? It goes two ways!

PrettyBoy · #6 06-13-2007, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KAPPAtivating

So what about the women who helped these dudes sew their oats, and they have six kids by six daddies? Are we supposed to be around waiting for them too? It goes two ways!

Ditto, Ditto, and Ditto 10 times fold. I couldn't have said it better myself Nupe.

Sugar08 · #7 06-13-2007, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KAPPAtivating

So what about the women who helped these dudes sew their oats, and they have six kids by six daddies? Are we supposed to be around waiting for them too? It goes two ways!

Question for all:

Does it matter to you how many men a woman has slept with (she has no children); is there an upper limit?

Follow-up question:

What about if she's not happy with the number of women you have slept with?

Ladies, if you'd like to answer, please reverse the pronouns.

OneTimeSBX · #8 06-13-2007, 02:06 PM

oh wooow!

i am not particularly concerned with the #. you can sleep with one person and catch something/knock her up, or 25 and nothing happens. as long as that # STOPS where i begin? im good with whatever. just dont lie if it comes up.

357Nupe · #9 06-13-2007, 03:11 PM

What she did in the past is her business, I don't care to know.

On the other hand I would hope if it were a large or small number of men that she would have learned somethings that make my experience with her better.

It is truly none of her business how many I have been with

, just like it is none of my business how many she has been with. Just make sure while I am the one I am the only one.

IncontRHOllable · #10 06-13-2007, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sugar08

Question for all:

Does it matter to you how many men a woman has slept with (she has no children); is there an upper limit?

Follow-up question:

What about if she's not happy with the number of women you have slept with?

Ladies, if you'd like to answer, please reverse the pronouns.

I feel that a man should be held to the same standard that they place on women. Men always preach about how they don't want a woman who has been around the block a lot. Well, the same standard should apply to them. Unfortunately, I find that most men feel that its ok for THEM to be around the block but NOT OK for the women to be around the block. Double standard, yes and its wrong. I think women should start holding men to same standard that they hold us to. Why should we have to accept that they've been around the block and its cool. On the other hand, coming from a christian standpoint of view, its wrong to judge someone based on their past. What should matter is what they are doing after they have chosen to be in a relationship with you.

Sugar08 · #11 06-13-2007, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IncontRHOllable

I feel that a man should be held to the same standard that they place on women. Men always preach about how they don't want a woman who has been around the block a lot. Well, the same standard should apply to them. Unfortunately, I find that most men feel that its ok for THEM to be around the block but NOT OK for the women to be around the block. Double standard, yes and its wrong. I think women should start holding men to same standard that they hold us to. Why should we have to accept that they've been around the block and its cool. On the other hand, coming from a christian standpoint of view, its wrong to judge someone based on their past. What should matter is what they are doing after they have chosen to be in a relationship with you.

This is what I was getting at. I've come across many men who hold their significant other to the double-standard and I was trying to find out what GCers had to say.

Infamous12 · #12 06-13-2007, 03:36 PM

I agree with 357 Nupe. Your past is your past and mine is mine. As long as that number doesn't increase while you're with me, we're straight.

But trust and believe, if your past is still present (i.e. - notorious reputation of being a slore, lol) then I will NOT be in your future. Sorry for ya!

PrettyBoy · #13 06-13-2007, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IncontRHOllable

I feel that a man should be held to the same standard that they place on women. Men always preach about how they don't want a woman who has been around the block a lot. Well, the same standard should apply to them. Unfortunately, I find that most men feel that its ok for THEM to be around the block but NOT OK for the women to be around the block. Double standard, yes and its wrong. I think women should start holding men to same standard that they hold us to. Why should we have to accept that they've been around the block and its cool. On the other hand, coming from a christian standpoint of view, its wrong to judge someone based on their past. What should matter is what they are doing after they have chosen to be in a relationship with you.

Yup, exactly.

IncontRHOllable · #14 06-13-2007, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KAPPAtivating

So what about the women who helped these dudes sew their oats, and they have six kids by six daddies? Are we supposed to be around waiting for them too? It goes two ways!

And you are exactly right. No argument for me on that.

PrettyBoy · #15 06-12-2007, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IncontRHOllable

Correction, yes you are the last of a dying breed. Hmmmm, let's see. I don't believe in dating a lot of people. I believe that if you just wait, God will bring the person that you are suppose to marry to you (I know that opinion is not popular). From my experience, I have only had 3 boyfriends in my life, one of whom I was engaged to. They have left me because of the no sex/ no intimacy rule. When I say no intimacy, I mean just that. Holding hands and a kiss on the cheek is fine but that's it. My fiance left me too because although I broke my rule for him, he could not deal with the no intimacy rule ( I felt such guilt at breaking the rule that I recommitted myself to that rule and he did not want that, he felt that since we broke it we might as well keep breaking it. I disagreed the rest is history). So you see, there are women who want to live Godly lives, are living a wholesome and respectable lifetyle, but its the men who can't seem to control their hormones enough to wait on that kind of girl. It's the men that want the freak of the week or the down low boy toy. The thing that really angers me, is the men who passed me up because they heard about my rule and then latter on in life after they have had their share of women, want to come back to try to be with me so they can settle down. HECK NO!! Don't try to come back my way. What's even worse is those fools that tell me "you a nice girl, pretty and all that but its unrealistic to think some man is going to stay faithful to you when you not trying to show a brotha a little intimacy. I can wait a while, but you talking intimacy for marriage and that could be 3 years and a man ain't gonna wait that long and be faithful to you at the same time". Its sad but I am finding this to be true. The man that will do this is RARE!! He may still be on the potter's wheel. Now tell me again that wholesome men are out there and I'll tell you yes they are like the last of the Mohicans.

I think that's great that you're a good woman. Stay that way. Like I said before hold on to the panties and see how long a joker hangs around. If he leaves, then he's a sorry low down joker. I like it when women hold back the panties. To me it means she's not just about sex. Also, I've never been the aggressor. The women I've gone out with in the past have always made the 1st move, so for me sex is great but not a priority.

When most women get a good guy, their insecurities come out and they mess up everytime. At least they did with me. A lot of times that comes from dating bad boys, and other reasons too. Most women simply think most men, if not all are dogs, and that's far from the truth. Like I said, sex is great, but it's not the end all be all. Me personally, I love having sex, but only with one woman. If she chooses not to have sex, then that's cool too. As long as she's a good woman, I'm her's for life with or without the sex. Now if I'm married to her, yeah, if she still doesn't want to have sex, then something's wrong with her. As long as she doesn't give me a reason to leave, which would be a form of cheating, then I wouldn't leave. To me cheating doesn't only mean sleeping with another guy.

Faithful? Yes, I've always been this way. In my past relationships, I just chose the wrong women. They were out there, and I was and still am the opposite. They would lie to me by trying to lower the number of men they slept with so I would be with them, and like an idiot I would. Not anymore. I know if she's lying now. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I've always known women to like bad boys. I've always said that if I ever met a beautiful woman who didn't fool around with bad boys, came from a good family, was educated, God fearing, honest, faithful, and loved me for me and only me, that would be my woman. I used to always go last behind bad boys, but now there's no way in hell. I've never ever cheated and I never will, and there are a lot of men out there like that, you just have to kind of run into them by accident I guess.