TrojanWoman's Retro Recruitment

[CZAXOTerp]

Originally Posted by TrojanWoman

The sister talking was openly sobbing and many actives in the circle were also crying. I looked around and noticed that some of the rushees were crying to. Don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of empathy for this girl and really was happy she had found sisters who were there for her, but I was incredibly uncomfortable being a stranger let in to what was obviously a very difficult and emotional time for this girl. On top of that, the girl who was rushing me started stroking my leg and looking back at me with these puppy dog eyes. It was all I could do not to say, “Stop stroking me!”

too funny- I totally got a back rub during a preference ceremony from a girl at a chapter- I remember thinking- gee a little to the left, a little more pressure, also it helped the the lights were dimmed and there was candlelight- but it is creepy!

[UGAalum94]

Yeah, sentimental intensity and physical touch have the potential to make people uncomfortable if they don't share your feelings. It's pretty much true at prefs just like it's true in every occasion.

Some people seem to expect preps to be emotionally intense and tearjerking, but if your only connection to the group is through rush (as opposed to a life long friend) it might seem false to many PNMs.

[AnatraAmore]

Wow Trojanwoman! I love this thread! Please don't make us wait too long to find out how bid matching went!!!

[OldAOPi]

I think I would have freaked out if someone would have started rubbing my leg. I remember when I went through...RUSH....I came from a family that didn't feel real comfortable hugging, etc. Getting hugged by a bunch of GIRLS was a new experience for me and took some getting used to.

[PeppyGPhiB]

I was always so uncomfortable sometimes during pref when girls would start to cry. I didn't cry at either of the pref ceremonies I attended as a rushee, but if I had, I think I would've felt embarrassed. Sometimes sorority women need to remember that the women attending the parties as guests do not yet have the strong connection you may have with the sisterhood, so it may come off as an "insiders only" experience. Pref shouldn't be all about telling stories that make everyone cry, in my opinion...especially sad stories. Just being honest.

My senior year when I was on Panhellenic exec I was a Rho Chi, and it was a bummer to not be at preference as a senior. But then I got really upset when I found out that one of my pledge sisters had used the second pref party of the night to announce her engagement! I was actually outside the room at the time and could hear all the screams of joy. Apparently she just couldn't hold it in any longer after the chapter sang our candle pass song (it works well for preference, and it has a moving story, so we always sang it then, too). At least no one could say that pref party was too fake!

[PKTKKG]

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

I was always so uncomfortable sometimes during pref when girls would start to cry. I didn't cry at either of the pref ceremonies I attended as a rushee, but if I had, I think I would've felt embarrassed. Sometimes sorority women need to remember that the women attending the parties as guests do not yet have the strong connection you may have with the sisterhood, so it may come off as an "insiders only" experience. Pref shouldn't be all about telling stories that make everyone cry, in my opinion...especially sad stories. Just being honest.

My senior year when I was on Panhellenic exec I was a Rho Chi, and it was a bummer to not be at preference as a senior. But then I got really upset when I found out that one of my pledge sisters had used the second pref party of the night to announce her engagement! I was actually outside the room at the time and could hear all the screams of joy. Apparently she just couldn't hold it in any longer after the chapter sang our candle pass song (it works well for preference, and it has a moving story, so we always sang it then, too). At least no one could say that pref party was too fake!

So true. Pref is for the PNMs - not the sisters. The goal is to make the PNMs tear up/cry and feel the sisterhood. It should not be a bawl fest for the members. Some tears and sentiment is fine, but bottom line the recruitment party and especially pref is for the PNMs and anything not about them is better saved for another event.

[SWTXBelle]

I've heard alumnae say, "Oh, you've got to get the PNM to cry. If they cry, you know they want us!" Uh, no - I cry at Hallmark commercials. I guarantee if you start singing a ballad and tearing up, I will soon be bawling too - but it doesn't mean I'm gonna die if I don't pledge your house! I cried at both my prefs!