Frustrations with Rec's

[NUBlue&Blue]

When my older daughter went through rush, an alum who wrote a rec for her called me to ask about four girls from our HS who were invited to pref at her sorority at two different colleges. She was our high school's contact person and she needed to secure a rec for every girl who was going to pref in case they were offered a bid BECAUSE IT WAS REQUIRED.

Just because you don't know about it doesn't mean that a rec was not required or secured for the PNM. Think of it like a thank you note. No, it's not required, but it's the right thing to do. Maximize all your options by getting recs to every sorority on campus if possible, whether they say they require it or not.

[susan314]

Originally Posted by NUBlue&Blue

Just because you don't know about it doesn't mean that a rec was not required or secured for the PNM. Think of it like a thank you note. No, it's not required, but it's the right thing to do. Maximize all your options by getting recs to every sorority on campus if possible, whether they say they require it or not.

Although recs weren't mandatory at Michigan State and mosts PNMs didn't obtain them prior to rush, I know that at least one sorority on my campus attempted to secure a hometown rec for me. (Its entirely possible that others did, but I just happened to find out about one after the fact.)

[irishpipes]

Exactly. I found out after the fact at the University of Illinois that a rec had been secured for me at a particular chapter. It was done because I was apparently someone's "rush crush" and she knew I had little chance without one - even with her pulling for me.

[NUBlue&Blue]

Well, I was pretty stupid even though I was an upperclassman. I had a lot of friends in one particular sorority, knew two sisters from my home county who were in that sorority at U of Iowa, one of whom had been my teacher and the other I knew through her son, so I asked them to write recommendations for me for that one sorority. I was cut pretty heavily, although it probably had more to do with the fact that I was an upperclassman and I had a pretty well known boyfriend....and we had a rather shall we say "drama-filled" relationship, which included girls in different sororities, particularly the one where he was a hasher, asking him to parties, etc. etc., and me getting really mad and vocal about it, etc. etc. (I'm sure there are people out there who would have a hard time believing that we ever ended up getting married, have 4 kids and just celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary! )

I had some close friends in a few other sororities, so I ended up with a full card of invites, but I never had to drop houses.....and like most of these stories, alls well that ends well.

But if I'd been smarter, I'd have tried to get more recs.