Cautiously dipping a toe in here...

[Glitter650]

Originally Posted by susan314

Since member selection is private and not really (supposed) to be discussed privately, its hard to say.

she also told me that it only takes one "no" vote in her group to cut a person, and one person had voted against me. I just shrugged it off and said that's okay, because I'm happy with where I ended up. (Which is very true )

IDK but if you cut EVERY girl that got one no vote ? Doesn't seem statistically possible that you'd EVER get close to quota.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Glitter650

IDK but if you cut EVERY girl that got one no vote ? Doesn't seem statistically possible that you'd EVER get close to quota.

Well, in a typical recruitment, the PNM really only talks in depth with a few sisters, and the rest rely on those sisters' judgements. So if you really only have to get past a few sisters (and not commit any blatant public faux pas), then it's really not as bad as it sounds.

[susan314]

Originally Posted by Glitter650

IDK but if you cut EVERY girl that got one no vote ? Doesn't seem statistically possible that you'd EVER get close to quota.

That's what I thought too, which is why I didn't give it a whole lot of thought until years later when another person said the same thing. Of course, if the one vote thing were correct, who knows the process that leads up to vote casting? I suppose I could imagine scenarios where there were PNMs that people were "on the fence about" and out of those it only took one "no"? Or where members were filtered out by other means (GPA, etc.) so not as many people came up for a vote? Its hard to say, and none of us...save those who are members of that group ...will ever know for sure. One thing I do know - that group never had trouble making quota or staying darn close to chapter total, so whatever they did worked for them.

[Xylochick216]

Membership selection is private. You can think what you want about being cut, but it's a private matter. Your friends who told you that it was one person who had it out for you could just be telling you that so there could be someone to blame.

As it has been said a million times on GC, AI is NOT intended for women who went through recruitment (once or multiple times), were cut, and now want to relive their college years. It's an honor that is supposed to be bestowed UPON you. You shouldn't be seeking it.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by dukemama

What I may do is ask my two close girlfriends who are also XYZ sisters for some advice on the subject -- I know they wouldn't hesitate to discuss it with me.

This would be your best bet if you're dead set on trying to run the AI gauntlet. Not all NPCs regularly (or ever) do AI, and even those that do have entire alumnae chapters who will not sponsor an alumnae candidate for initiation.

The ideal situation here would have been for you to have LOVED XYZ and your friends in the org so much that XYZ's the only group you would have been interested in for AI. That's not the case here, you named a different organization in your first post and specifically stated you did not want to try AI with XYZ. So here's where it stands, at least to me, right now...

- You really like the philanthropy of the organization you talked about in your first post. You don't know a soul in the org, but they have an alumni chapter in your area. Let's call them ABC
- You have good friends in XYZ, but you have your reservations about the organization due to your experiences in college.

If you were to pursue AI with ABC, you're treading into sticky territory both within GC and probably within the organization itself. You not knowing anyone in this org is a big sore spot here given some past threads about AI "sorority shoppers." ABC itself might not be open to you (with no contacts) introducing yourself, and that's the end of that. That said, you would be commended for trying for one group you really thought you'd like and not shopping around for a sorority -- any sorority -- that would initiate you.

Now, if you were to find that your channels to ABC were shut and only then did you turn to your good friends in XYZ in order to try AI with them...well, that would be sorority shopping, letter grabbing, whatever you want to call it (I'm not saying you're doing this, or you're thinking of doing this). Wanting a sorority experience is totally understandable, but community sororities can offer you the same kind of experience without the years-long process of AI.

Your best bet, at this point would probably be to try a community sorority in the here and now (Just like you said you were going to do!) Nothing about BSP etc. precludes you from holding membership in an NPC, and you might find that BSP et. al. offer you the kind of experience you've always wanted. Nothing's stopping you from finding out more about NPC groups through your friends -- maybe someday you'll go out with your two XYZ friends and a bunch of their XYZ alum friends and find that you click wonderfully with the women or whatever. Who knows?

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by AChiOhSnap

Your best bet, at this point would probably be to try a community sorority in the here and now (Just like you said you were going to do!) Nothing about BSP etc. precludes you from holding membership in an NPC, and you might find that BSP et. al. offer you the kind of experience you've always wanted. Nothing's stopping you from finding out more about NPC groups through your friends -- maybe someday you'll go out with your two XYZ friends and a bunch of their XYZ alum friends and find that you click wonderfully with the women or whatever. Who knows?

I'm not saying that this would be a good reason to join, but I do know of a few women who joined BSPhi and through that org met NPC contacts and were invited by them to AI.

[dukemama]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I'm not saying that this would be a good reason to join, but I do know of a few women who joined BSPhi and through that org met NPC contacts and were invited by them to AI.

Actually, I did think of that as a possibility...but I'd consider it simply a bonus (if it ever happened) and it certainly wouldn't be among my top 100 reasons to join a non-collegiate sorority.

[dukemama]

Originally Posted by AChiOhSnap

The ideal situation here would have been for you to have LOVED XYZ and your friends in the org so much that XYZ's the only group you would have been interested in for AI. That's not the case here, you named a different organization in your first post and specifically stated you did not want to try AI with XYZ.

...

Your best bet, at this point would probably be to try a community sorority in the here and now (Just like you said you were going to do!) Nothing about BSP etc. precludes you from holding membership in an NPC, and you might find that BSP et. al. offer you the kind of experience you've always wanted. Nothing's stopping you from finding out more about NPC groups through your friends -- maybe someday you'll go out with your two XYZ friends and a bunch of their XYZ alum friends and find that you click wonderfully with the women or whatever. Who knows?

I think you're on to something here. I will give the non-collegiate route a try and let you know how it goes. Thanks for your thoughtful advice!

[WVU alpha phi]

Originally Posted by 33girl

3 votes out of a chapter of what, 100?

I don't know what other groups do, but my sorority most definitely does not vote like that.

I think it's entirely possible for 3 girls to sway a chapter's decision. Without getting into my chapter's selection details, I will say that "influential" girls in the sorority can definitely make an impression during the recruitment process, even if it is just a select few.

Originally Posted by sageofages

I absolutely disagree. I think her story is compelling. Things and people happen in our life that make being in a GLO not right at the time, but it doesn't mean we can't GROW and be a great member.

My newest "little sis" was initiated on her birthday. I won't say which one, but she was older than 30 .

I am willing to talk with anyone interested in AI. (And those of you who were in a conversation with me before, please pm me....I had to drop off the face of the earth because of a family issue...which happily has improved so much...I am *back*)

We know who your little sister is.

You're the one who sponsors PNAMs you meet on GreekChat, right?

[PenguinTrax]

Let's not let this degrade into a discussion on membership selection practices. Please.

[sageofages]

Originally Posted by OTW

We know who your little sister is.

You're the one who sponsors PNAMs you meet on GreekChat, right?

Not every...just one or two

silly goose!

[dukemama]

Originally Posted by Jen

It only takes one bad apple to ruin the whole bunch.

To the OP - to ignore your best contact and best opportunity in favour of seeking help here is very shortsighted.

I hope I didn't give you the impression of "shopping" around on GC for a sorority to join -- that's not my intention. My original question simply asked about the typical ages of women who AI versus those who join non-collegiate organizations.

And honestly, I don't believe XYZ sorority IS my best opportunity regardless of what my friend said at our college reunion. I can't, with a clear conscience, attempt to join a group where I know specific members did not wish me to belong. It's a matter of personal pride, I guess.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by dukemama

I hope I didn't give you the impression of "shopping" around on GC for a sorority to join -- that's not my intention. My original question simply asked about the typical ages of women who AI versus those who join non-collegiate organizations.

And honestly, I don't believe XYZ sorority IS my best opportunity regardless of what my friend said at our college reunion. I can't, with a clear conscience, attempt to join a group where I know specific members did not wish me to belong. It's a matter of personal pride, I guess.

Nope, you didn't give me that impression, especially since you said that you were only interested in one NPC sorority. XYZ only entered the picture because it seemed unusual that you would be interested in an NPC where you knew nobody versus XYZ, in which you had close friends. But you don't have to explain why you're not interested in XYZ.

Good luck in your pursuit of a non-collegiate sorority! Keep us updated.

[ASUADPi]

If AI is something you want to pursue just please take into mind that it is a very slow and tedious process with a lot of waiting time. As for your age I have a story...

A sister of mine had a woman she was friends with in college. This woman was friends with members of the chapter but she didn't join. Fast forward 30 some odd years to 2005. She initiated via AI and was sponsered by this sister. When we started doing AI a bit more, my sister decided she wanted her good friend to be one of her sisters and they started the AI process.

So my moral is , age doesnt matter