Ghetto Weddings, II

[NinjaPoodle]

Soror,

Please tell her that her self worth is worth way more than a man who doesnt care about her and to step back an re-evaluate the situation.

Originally Posted by NiaX

ok SisterGreek... yall have GOTS to sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her about this. She is too grown to have a broken heart like this. that dude is crappy... she don't need him if that is what he is gonna do...

What Sistergreek NiaX said too.

Originally Posted by tld221

BREAKING NEWS... THE WEDDING IS CANCELED AS OF THIS AFTERNOON.

i dont have ALL the details, but the morning started with my aunt looking through her "fiance's" phone and finding the following messages:

Auntie's boo: yo she's picking out rings already
Boo's son: damn she's on a roll wit you

so of course she's offended. calls my mom up this morning, asking if she should confront him about it, to see "if he has any hesitations about getting married." he pretty much says that he's OK with it, but that he feels like its rushed, etc... (mind you this wedding was supposed to be in July) says they should push the wedding back to 2008 to save $ and give more time to build the relationship (theyve been together less than a year and again, he's still legally married to the wife).

(ok let me mention that last week, she had proposed a couple of deals. 1. she would loan him the money for her engagement ring and he would pay it back after the wedding, and 2. they would both take out loans to pay for the wedding. 3. she wanted a honeymoon overseas, and he doesnt like to fly, so he was like if we cant drive to it and be back for work monday morning, it aint happening.)

anyway, auntie is on the phone with mom (they talk really early in the AM for no reason) and is like, "should i confront him about the messages?" well duh, then he'll know you were snooping through his stuff! and he's not the type of guy to cheat or hide anything (as far as i know) so what other reason does she have to go through his stuff?

so auntie and mom argue, and mom tells auntie off - saying "serves ya @ss right for trying to force a man to the altar" and she says "i am not forcing anyone, its what we both want... and besides, if im not a july bride i will die because i am tired of being single"

more harsh realities are tossed in the air. time goes by, conversations are had (i guess auntie confronted dude after all) and mom calls me this afternoon to say the wedding is called off.

like my mama say "if you go looking for stuff, you will find it, and chances are you aint gonna like it."

im just hoping and begging that i dont get to that sorry state of lonliness at that age to act a dayum fool.

[tld221]

see here's my thing. i dont think dude is necessarily a bad dude. if anything, her crazy sprung desperate @ss is doing all the things men complain about and makes them leave.

i know i sholdbe more sympathetic, but come on! she really brought this on herself. you cant go from "just met" to "married and shacked up" in less than a year and expect things to be all gravy. its one big "i told you so" and i dont care if i come off as a know-it-all to her. i'm working off common sense, which always prevails over working off of love and emotion.

[aopirose]

Originally Posted by tld221

see here's my thing. i dont think dude is necessarily a bad dude. if anything, her crazy sprung desperate @ss is doing all the things men complain about and makes them leave.

i know i sholdbe more sympathetic, but come on! she really brought this on herself. you cant go from "just met" to "married and shacked up" in less than a year and expect things to be all gravy. its one big "i told you so" and i dont care if i come off as a know-it-all to her. i'm working off common sense, which always prevails over working off of love and emotion.

tld221, you are doing the what you need to do. You love your aunt and she needs your support. Part of supporting her is telling her the true truth as you and your mom have tried to do. This cancelation, postponement, reprieve is the best thing that could have happened to her. Let's hope that she comes to see this too. If she and the guy are supposed to be together, it is best to come to the union with full understanding and committment. There are a lot worse things in the world than being without a man.