Rush - What to NOT do or say

[VeniceIsSinking]

Well I left HS in 2003, that summer I got my GED and that fall I went to college for half a semester. I had to leave that as well beacuse my mother was diagnosed with an incurable heart disease and it was my responsibility as her only child and only family to take care of her. So I spent 3 years doing that until she became stablized. I have medical documentation for all of that ^. The minute I could break free, I did.. then I moved and started at my school this fall.

btw, regarding the HS transcript. I did try to obtain one, but it was my HS that said it would be several weeks until I would get it. Simply because of their clerical organization. It would have been too late for Rush, so that's why I couldn't get it.

I am a freshman at my school, I'm 20 and yes, I am married (with no kids). I have already accumlated an excellent GPA (3.57), I ran for fresh. president and am currently being trained to become a mentor for local high school students. I never thought being married would effect rush....

[UGAalum94]

Well, all you can do is try, right? I hope it goes well for you.
It appears that you've done everything you can do to make yourself a strong candidate as far as grades and involvement.

If it turns out that the groups are looking only for 18 year old recent high school graduates, then try not to take it personally. You know that you've spent your time in a worthwhile way and that you've made the most of a tough situation.

I think most people value a happy marriage and family better than they do their GLOs, so if one "cost" you the other, you got the better end of the deal.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by VeniceIsSinking

I am a freshman at my school, I'm 20 and yes, I am married. I have already accumlated an excellent GPA (3.57), I ran for fresh. president and am currently being trained to become a mentor for local high school students. I never thought being married would effect rush....

You sound like you've compiled a fantastic "resume" of experiences since you've started college. That's a really, really strong GPA and the fact that you volunteer and are involved in campus leadership activities are very, very beneficial attributes in terms of recruitment.

The married thing though...yes, it most definitely could affect your recruitment (unless there is a LARGE number of married/nontrad. students at your school.) There have been several threads on bidding married women before and it varies from school to school. The general idea seems that the more traditional the school (or the more competitive the recruitment) the more difficult it is for a married woman to receive a bid. The reasons for this vary. However, the same concern keeps popping up: "How could a married woman find time for 15-20 hours a week for a new member program on top of her classes when she has a husband?"

If you and your husband have discussed recruitment and he's fully supportive of you going through and understands the time committment then more power to you. You should absolutely go through recruitment in the fall. I'm just saying that being married can -- and has -- affected PNM's recruitments before.

[VeniceIsSinking]

My husband is incredibly supportive and is encouraging me to do it. He was part of a professional fraternity when we were engaged and I supported him through it. Plus he works a lot and I always have free time to dedicate to something like this

Well based on the rules of conversation that many of you ladies posted, I would imagine this marriage thing will never come up. Sure it's a part of me, but it's not who I am entirely. Anyway, I just found my soulmate early and honestly if a sorority is going to say I'm not a good fit based on my marital status, then that's not a sorority I want to be a part of. Ya hurrd?

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by VeniceIsSinking

My husband is incredibly supportive and is encouraging me to do it. He was part of a professional fraternity when we were engaged and I supported him through it. Plus he works a lot and I always have free time to dedicate to something like this

Well based on the rules of conversation that many of you ladies posted, I would imagine this marriage thing will never come up. Sure it's a part of me, but it's not who I am entirely. Anyway, I just found my soulmate early and honestly if a sorority is going to say I'm not a good fit based on my marital status, then that's not a sorority I want to be a part of. Ya hurrd?

That's a very refreshing attitude. There's no reason in any circumstance -- from sorority recruitment to a job interview -- to offer up personal information if not asked. If you can show that you're going to be a dedicated, responsible new member then that's all you can do, regardless of your marital status.

Congratulations on being a newlywed (as someone who will join that group in a little over a year) and good luck with recruitment. Feel free to post your story in the fall if you feel so inclined.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by VeniceIsSinking

Well based on the rules of conversation that many of you ladies posted, I would imagine this marriage thing will never come up.

As long as you keep your left hand in your pocket the entire time.

Oh, and if the girl on Panhellenic you mentioned knows you got married, pretty much everyone probably knows already. This doesn't quite fall into the don't talk about boys aspect. When we say that, it's more like don't say things like "OMG Bryan the TKE was such a jerk/is the best kisser" only to find out that the president of the sorority is Bryan the TKE's sister, girlfriend or ex. Being married is a different matter.

[_Lisa_]

Originally Posted by VeniceIsSinking

Anyway, I just found my soulmate early and honestly if a sorority is going to say I'm not a good fit based on my marital status, then that's not a sorority I want to be a part of. Ya hurrd?

The ladies just want to make sure you have the time to dedicate to the sorority, thats all. The majority of them probably have a hard time making their own schedules work, so they may not understand how someone who is married could do the same!

[AlphaFrog]

I'm pretty sure there's at least one, if not several NPCs that require married women to take alum status. In that case, that NPC would need to know, because it would be against their bylaws to bid a married woman.

Other then that, I can't really see it being THAT much different then rushing with a finace or steady bf, since many people are doing the live-in thing, and all.

[adpiucf]

Our Alumnae Panhellenic does a roundtable event locally with high school seniors in the winter to help them prepare for recruitment, and LSU is one of the schools we focus on. We invite reps from their Panhellenic, alumnae, etc., to come and speak about LSU recruitment. (as well as UT, A&M, SMU, Bama, Auburn, UGA, etc.-- the schools our local girls most often end up attending and rushing at...)

I'll be frank, and if you don't like this advice, you can certainly do what you wish. If you are at LSU or an LSU-type school, and you are not a freshman from a traditional background of having been to high school and being unmarried and having at least 2 alumnae recs per chapter, a stellar GPA and stellar activities, don't go through LSU recruitment. It's a very traditional competitive Greek System. If you do go through recruitment, do the informal recruitment events. Still, given your background, you may not feel like you fit in with the women in the chapters and I would suggest you try a non-NPC greek organization instead, perhaps a co-ed one, or even a community service group. There's nothing wrong with your background or the LSU sororities; but there are some key differences between you where you and they might be a better fit elsewhere. I'm not saying you wouldn't be a great member or a great fit; but based on your posts and what you have said about your background, that is just my honest take. Even coming from the most traditional background and having all of those traditional attributes and great grades/activities isn't a guarantee of getting a bid as a freshman, and those chances diminish even further the older you are/further along you are in college (a sophomore with a traditional background, great grades and who is head of the Orientation Team/Dance Marathon even will have a very hard time). I wish you the best no matter what you decide!

[VeniceIsSinking]

I guess I should contact someone at my school's greek office and find out the rules for the sorority chapters on campus regarding marriage.

My school is nothing like LSU. Things are a lot cooler here, imo.

I guess once I find out the rules for my campus chapters, and if things seem ok, I will work on getting recs and maintain what I already have going for me. Hopefully my personality, goals, accomplishments etc along with a few recs will be enough to garner a bid. I just really don't want to spend $40 on rush if I'm not going to get a bid because I will be a sophmore during '07 fall rush. I have a lot of undergrad ahead of me (double minor) so I will be here for awhile...

btw, thanks once again ladies for your input/advice... keep it comin'