North vs South

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by alum

There may be some Northerners who don't know how to raise their children to behave in public, but that certainly isn't representative of all residents above the M-D line. We also enroll our children in cotillion and etiquette classes to reinforce what they learn at home. I grew up in the North but lived with Southerners for the majority of my adult life thanks to GEN Alum.

That being said, in terms of a default, I never would have allowed my kids to call my friends Miss Cathy and Miss Ashley as opposed to Mrs. Smith and Mrs Jones. To me, calling an adult by the first name even with a Miss or Mr. added, is the height of rudeness. However, if one of my Southern friends specifically asked to be called Miss Firstname instead Mrs. Surname, then I would have allowed my children to do so.

Yep, I was raised to call people Mrs. Smith, not Miss firstname, but the Miss Firstname can be perfect. When I was in college, I worked with people with various ages; generally, we called people by their first names, but with southern ladies of a mature age, calling them Miss Firstname seemed perfect. It seemed respectful and yet not as formal as Mrs. Lastname would have seemed.

ETA: is the Miss Firstname thing even regional within the South? Is it more common in certain places than others?

[PhoenixAzul]

Originally Posted by Alphagamuga

Yep, I was raised to call people Mrs. Smith, not Miss firstname, but the Miss Firstname can be perfect. When I was in college, I worked with people with various ages; generally, we called people by their first names, but with southern ladies of a mature age, calling them Miss Firstname seemed perfect. It seemed respectful and yet not as formal as Mrs. Lastname would have seemed.

I tell the kids I teach in camp or swim lessons to call me either Ms. Lastname or Tracey. I'm not that much older than all of them. I really hate being called Miss Lifeguard though...aaauugh! Firstname or Miss Lastname is fine with me, but Miss Tracey for some reason does my head in .

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul

I tell the kids I teach in camp or swim lessons to call me either Ms. Lastname or Tracey. I'm not that much older than all of them. I really hate being called Miss Lifeguard though...aaauugh! Firstname or Miss Lastname is fine with me, but Miss Tracey for some reason does my head in .

In my example, the age difference was about thirty or so years. It seemed rude to only call them by first name, and yet the cultural of the place was so informal.

I think there's also a Southern trend to call everyone Aunt, Uncle or Cousin and then first name, even when it's like a second cousin, great aunt etc.

I keep thinking more about this. Why is it only women who get this treatment, usually? Because they're the one's working with kids?

[lillady85]

Ah! I totally agree with the strong handshake suggestion. I know I used to have a wimpy handshake thinking it was more ladylike, but now as I got older I came to see that if I want to be taken as a lady AND serious (not that it can't be done at the same time) I'd need to show some assertiveness in my handshake. I don't think there is a definite difference in between North and south as far as manners go, but there is a point where you wonder, why are these people being so rude (I know I felt that way in NY, no offense)?

end of drunken rambling after not drinking out of a bottle but out of a glass, lol.