How soon do you get serious??

Lady Pi Phi · #1 12-27-2006, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by centaur532

This makes me feel so much better now. I knew, within two months, that my boyfriend is The One. Sometimes you just know. We're perfect for each other on a scary level. My parents met on a blind date and were engaged 3 months later. Sometimes, you just know. Other people, it takes time.

I'm the same as you. I knew after 2 months that he was the one I was going to marry. 1 year and a half later I still feel the same way. While we're not officially engaged, I say we're unofficially engaged because we have talked about it so much. We moved in together just a few months after our 1 year anniversary. We know we're going to marry soon, we're just trying to save up money for a ring, wedding, house, etc., etc.

honeychile · #2 12-27-2006, 04:15 PM

Lots of good advice, such as Marie's post, waiting a year, everybody's timeline being different, etc. My own advice is to listen to your brain, and not your heart - your heart will fall in line with what the brain knows is right. Don't marry someone you can live with, marry someone you can't live without!

And don't let anyone pressure you to hurry up or to slow down, even if it's the week before the proposed wedding!

SxyLady07 · #3 12-30-2006, 12:23 AM

I agree with the posters saying it depends on that person. Only he or she knows what is right for her. My mom remarried after 5 years of courting with her husband/fiance/now ex-husband. My grandparents on the other hand were kids (my grammy being around 13 and my granddaddy around 18 (don't quote me for sure on the ages but close enough)) and before my grammy passed, they were married for 40+ years. Things change between their era and our era. The divorce rate is so flickin' high that we need to stick with it. That is my opinion, though

AKA_Monet · #4 12-30-2006, 02:27 AM

I was only knew my husband for ~5-6 months before I married him...

But I was 34 years old, had been there, done that in every kind of relationship... I also had a medical emergency in which my now husband emotionally supported me and another a$$wipe that lived in my city abandoned me...

So, if you don't kid yourself into this "magical Disney romantical adventure" story that has been sold to us, Americans, lock, stock and barrell, and have a realistic view of your life and that of your loved one, then you should be fare decently...

Our first year was rough because we didn't do the "waiting game". But with each passing year, we grow stronger... I must say, I truly admire my husband and he bends over backwards for me... But that's me.

And like others have stated, you need to know yourself more than anything else.

And if you read any of my earlier posts before 2003... You will noticed that I truly started to believe that I was NOT marriage material...

DSTCHAOS · #5 12-30-2006, 10:09 AM

Thanks for that post AKAMonet.

I think I remember your pre-2003 posts. You live, you learn, you grow but in all that you keep praying.

SxyLady07 · #6 12-30-2006, 10:14 AM

Good post, AKA_Monet.

Another key is that....support.

PrettyBoy · #7 01-03-2007, 12:42 AM

About 10 years. Nah!

Seriously, I guess everyone is different. My parents have been married for 43 years after being engaged for about a year and a half. That was in 1963, it's 2007 now and the dating scene has changed big time. The divorce rate is now 65 percent. I was watching the news and for the 1st time in U.S. history there are more single people than married.

I'm young, but very old fashion and I have old fashion values, and today it's very difficult to meet women with the same values as my own. I guess I'm out dated.

I would get involved in a serious relationship but I wouldn't get married. I've been friends with a young lady I've been seeing for 10 months and I still haven't committed to her. She laid it on the line and told me how she feels about me, but I'm totally not ready for all of that right now. I'm very leery on serious relationships and marriage. I don't know how long it would take me.

PhoenixAzul · #8 01-07-2007, 12:56 AM

My mom and dad were a blind date and got engaged 3 months after starting their relationship. Mom was engaged to another guy before, but he was killed in an accident. So she did her thing for a while, then mutual friends set her and my dad up. It was perfect from the beginning. 27 years, 2 kids, 3 dogs, 2 houses later...still together and still in love.

In my own *personal* experience...Pat and I clicked right away. We had a "friends" period because of our age difference, so we weren't "official" for about 4 months after meeting. But we got very close very fast. We met at the right point in our lives and helped each other immensely. Our relationship is pretty atypical, and I think it worked only because of how the two of us are as *individuals*. I KNOW it wouldn't work for 99.9 per cent of people, but I'm so damn happy that we are that .1 %.

PrettyBoy · #9 01-07-2007, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul

My mom and dad were a blind date and got engaged 3 months after starting their relationship. Mom was engaged to another guy before, but he was killed in an accident. So she did her thing for a while, then mutual friends set her and my dad up. It was perfect from the beginning. 27 years, 2 kids, 3 dogs, 2 houses later...still together and still in love.

In my own *personal* experience...Pat and I clicked right away. We had a "friends" period because of our age difference, so we weren't "official" for about 4 months after meeting. But we got very close very fast. We met at the right point in our lives and helped each other immensely. Our relationship is pretty atypical, and I think it worked only because of how the two of us are as *individuals*. I KNOW it wouldn't work for 99.9 per cent of people, but I'm so damn happy that we are that .1 %.

I'm probably the other 99.9%

.