LilLady's Fall rush 06'

[lillady85]

Wow, I haven't posted in what seems like forever.

Anywho, GC ladies, I have quite the conundrum and know not what to do. I hope someone an give me some advice.

As you know, ChiO colonized at my school and I was given a bid to become a founding member of the RhoMu chapter. I've been having fun going to chapter and meeting all my sisters and we even had our 'founding families' event which is similar to a 'big sis/lil sis' thing. Whereas before I was unsure about everything, I grew to really like being a part of something new and my feeling changed from my other post where I wasn't so sure. I've even kept every carnation and started making a scrapbook.
However, about a month ago I was given the option to study abroad (and this will totally give away who I am but it's not really a secret to my sisters) which I gladly took since I've always wanted to go to Europe. So one would wonder...what's the problem?

Well, it turns out I won't be able to be initiated with my sisters and I'm not even coming back until two weeks before school ends. I talked to our advisor and even one of my sisters about what I can do because I have some really conflicting feelings. When I joined ChiO I knew I wanted to study abroad but I didn't think it would be so long nor that it would be this year. Second, I also was and still am really excited to be a founding member except...I guess in my mind I won't really be and this is why I think I won't.
One, I'll be initiated all by myself while I really wanted to be initiated with the rest of my sisters. Second, I don't even know if I'll be initiated when I get back especially since school will be ending. Third, yes it's easy to share pictures and facebook wall comments, I'm going to miss out on pretty much everything our new chapter does. I can't even go this weekend to a mixer with another fraternity because I have to attend orientation for studying abroad.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm really upset about this but to be honest, I'm going to miss out on a lot of what I wanted to do and so I don't know what to feel anymore. I won't be there to initiate traditions, vote on officers, I will never get to run as officer, plus a lot of stuff that I wanted to do. Plus...it just seems that they'll have a 5 month period to bond as sisters whereas I won't. Idon't know if this sounds like me whining but I don't know what to do anymore. If anyone ever had something like this...what did you do?