Kids at nice restaurants

KSig RC · #1 09-01-2006, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

That's exactly what I DON'T want to do...make it seem like the forbidden fruit. That WILL come back to bite. You tell a teenager not to do something, and they're GOING to do it.

So your kid is 'smart' enough to understand that something that's given to them in moderation doesn't need to be abused (or that moderation is better), even when genetic predisposition works pretty hard to overcome this ability to be moderate, but not smart enough to understand the dangers of hereditary alcoholism and the way to avoid the problems?

Makes sense.

Drolefille · #2 09-01-2006, 05:34 PM

Even hereditary alcoholism is not an absolute. Being predisposed to it doesn't mean that you can't avoid becoming addicted.

Not saying what the best idea is here, if a parent is an alcoholic it's probably better to have NO alcohol around, not even to teach the kid.

AlphaFrog · #3 09-01-2006, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSig RC

So your kid is 'smart' enough to understand that something that's given to them in moderation doesn't need to be abused (or that moderation is better), even when genetic predisposition works pretty hard to overcome this ability to be moderate, but not smart enough to understand the dangers of hereditary alcoholism and the way to avoid the problems?

Makes sense.

As Drolefille said, hereditary alcoholism is not absolute. As I said before, my husband has an alcoholic brother, and a father that died of alcoholism, and he manages moderation. I am not naieve enough to think that my daughter is never going to drink because she knows that she is predisposed to alcoholism. Honestly, would that have stopped you from drinking when you went to college? 18 year olds have the "invincible, nothing can happen to me" attitude, and ESPECIALLY if alcohol was the "forbidden fruit" are going to drink when they get to college. I'd rather let my daughter try alcohol at home, and find out AT HOME that she can't handle alcohol, then let her go to college and find out in the emergency room with alcohol poisoning, that she can't handle alcohol.

KSig RC · #4 09-01-2006, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

As Drolefille said, hereditary alcoholism is not absolute. As I said before, my husband has an alcoholic brother, and a father that died of alcoholism, and he manages moderation. I am not naieve enough to think that my daughter is never going to drink because she knows that she is predisposed to alcoholism. Honestly, would that have stopped you from drinking when you went to college? 18 year olds have the "invincible, nothing can happen to me" attitude, and ESPECIALLY if alcohol was the "forbidden fruit" are going to drink when they get to college. I'd rather let my daughter try alcohol at home, and find out AT HOME that she can't handle alcohol, then let her go to college and find out in the emergency room with alcohol poisoning, that she can't handle alcohol.

I don't dispute that all of these things are possibilities - I'm disputing your repeated desire to speak in absolutes, even when faced with real-life statistical evidence and potentially contrary 'absolutes' (or options).

honeychile · #5 09-01-2006, 11:10 PM

Wow, I'm really sorry to have hijacked this thread! Seriously, at ten, I'm talking about watered down wine, just enough wine to give the water some color and almost more to learn to use a wine glass properly! In fact, the first time I ever got a "buzz" was from taking Communion while visiting an Episcopal Church!

EE-Bo's post was the best description of my thoughts. Thank you for fleshing out the obvious.

tunatartare · #6 09-01-2006, 11:15 PM

I'm from a Russian family. I grew up with wine or vodka always being on the dinner table. In our community, it's perfectly normal to start teaching kids as early as 9 or 10 to drink.

AGDee · #7 09-02-2006, 08:22 AM

I grew up drinking wine at Sunday dinner at my Italian grandparent's house. It was homemade and we called it Dago Red. It wasn't a big deal. It was a big deal when we got to help stomp the grapes (after Nana oversaw us washing our feet very well!). We had a blast.

It didn't seem to change anything about how any of us viewed alcohol. I have a couple cousins who are alcoholics, some who went wild with it for a while (when college aged) and calmed down, and some who just don't drink (for whatever reason).

I think it's more complex than some are making it. There are children of alcoholics who don't want it around them ever because of the things they experienced. There are others who learn to turn to alcohol. There are no absoluts (pun intended)

PM_Mama00 · #8 09-02-2006, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee

I grew up drinking wine at Sunday dinner at my Italian grandparent's house. It was homemade and we called it Dago Red. It wasn't a big deal. It was a big deal when we got to help stomp the grapes (after Nana oversaw us washing our feet very well!). We had a blast.

It didn't seem to change anything about how any of us viewed alcohol. I have a couple cousins who are alcoholics, some who went wild with it for a while (when college aged) and calmed down, and some who just don't drink (for whatever reason).

I think it's more complex than some are making it. There are children of alcoholics who don't want it around them ever because of the things they experienced. There are others who learn to turn to alcohol. There are no absoluts (pun intended)

I think alot of "Americans" (as what my parents call non-ethnic families) don't understand that in cultures like ours, at least wine is always present in the home. Us Italian children drank it when we were younger (not me, I hate wine). My parents never yelled at me when I'd drink alcohol at weddings and such, and I think that had something to do with me not going overboard in college. I've seen children of strict parents go WAY overboard.

Back to the topic... my family's restaurant isn't the nicest restaurant around, but it is a relatively quiet, somewhat nice one. There are kids constantly in there and most of them behave well, maybe a little crying. Then there are parents who let their kids walk around the restaurant and I just wana kill them. There were these 2 maybe like 8-10 year olds rolling around on their "skate shoes" in our lobby. There was no one in the lobby, but if they would have fallen it could be our liability. Did the parents say anything to them? No. I had to.

Rudey · #9 09-02-2006, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLPDaisy

I'm from a Russian family. I grew up with wine or vodka always being on the dinner table. In our community, it's perfectly normal to start teaching kids as early as 9 or 10 to drink.

Yeah well in your community people often die from home brewed vodka and binge drinking is encouraged.

If you were to show up at a really nice restaurant, you don't see kids, let alone misbehaving kids. Perhaps some of you should consider eating at better places instead of the macaroni grill, houston's, or whatever chain steakhouse floats your boat that night or maybe accept the fact that you get what you pay for.

-Rudey

PM_Mama00 · #10 09-02-2006, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rudey

Yeah well in your community people often die from home brewed vodka and binge drinking is encouraged.

If you were to show up at a really nice restaurant, you don't see kids, let alone misbehaving kids. Perhaps some of you should consider eating at better places instead of the macaroni grill, houston's, or whatever chain steakhouse floats your boat that night or maybe accept the fact that you get what you pay for.

-Rudey

Not true. Andiamo's is one of the nicer restaurants in this area, and they have children there. They're not running around like at some restaurants, and they're pretty well behaved (I've never seen children running around). My niece was 3 or 4 when we went for my graduation and it was fine.