Kids at nice restaurants

[KSUViolet06]

I would *prefer* that parents left their children at home if the restaurant is supposed to be really classy, adult, and romantic. But I guess if they're quiet it's no big deal because I'd hardly notice them.

Personally, I think if you can't find a sitter for whatever reason, you should go to a family or chain restaurant that's kid friendly.

[jadis96]

Originally Posted by JocelynC

I would *prefer* that parents left their children at home if the restaurant is supposed to be really classy, adult, and romantic. But I guess if they're quiet it's no big deal because I'd hardly notice them.

Personally, I think if you can't find a sitter for whatever reason, you should go to a family or chain restaurant that's kid friendly.

I agree on this one. At least the child was not running around the resturant while the parents ate their dinner. That happened to me once. I was at a family dinner with my parents and grandmother at a 4 star resturant and a child (maybe 5) was crawling all over the floor and under other people's tables and the parents were ignoring her. It really bothered me!

[honeychile]

I think it entirely depends on the child and the parents. Some children are socialized enough to be able to handle a "fine dining experience" earlier than others, mostly because their parents have insisted that they behave or leave - without stage whispers of doom, yelling, or hitting.

My parents were both very active in the community, and to this day, I hear stories about how people would be disturbed at first when one or both of my parents would bring me to a function - and then were shocked to see how well I behaved, without any correction whatsoever!

In my parents' case, there just wasn't a babysitter available 98% of the time.

ETA: My worst screaming child experience was at a crowded doctor's office, when a child ran up and down the waiting room, screaming her head off. She got close to me, I put my open hands on her shoulders and said, "Go sit down." She did. Her mother shot daggers at me, but if she wasn't going to rein her in, someone had to.

[AchtungBaby80]

If the child in question was not distracting (i.e. crawling under tables, screeching like a banshee, throwing food, etc.) then I wouldn't think too much about it.

[Marie]

Originally Posted by AchtungBaby80

If the child in question was not distracting (i.e. crawling under tables, screeching like a banshee, throwing food, etc.) then I wouldn't think too much about it.

Agreed! Whether the expereince was appropriate for the child or the quality time was lost, I personally would not care as long as they didn't disturb my dinner.

[valkyrie]

I think it's absolutely fine, as long as the kid is well-behaved and not disruptive to others. First of all, why is a kid sitting quietly at a restaurant anyone else's damn business? Second, just because you have a kid doesn't mean you're relegated to crappy chain restaurants. Third, who knows if the kid would be "better off" with a babysitter.

[blueangel]

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I think it's absolutely fine, as long as the kid is well-behaved and not disruptive to others. First of all, why is a kid sitting quietly at a restaurant anyone else's damn business? Second, just because you have a kid doesn't mean you're relegated to crappy chain restaurants. Third, who knows if the kid would be "better off" with a babysitter.

And I find myself agreeing with valkyrie yet again. (Twighlight Zone music!)

It's important for kids to learn good manners and good behavior. While its nice to bring kids to more "fun and child friendly" chains every now and then, children also need to learn how to fit into the parent's lives.

The only thing that I disagree with is the DVD player at dinner... it can disturb other diners and isn't appropriate at the dinner table.

[OtterXO]

Originally Posted by JocelynC

Personally, I think if you can't find a sitter for whatever reason, you should go to a family or chain restaurant that's kid friendly.

Exactly. I don't have kids, but if/when I do my take on it will be (as it already is) that if the place doesn't have a kids menu then kids shouldn't be there.

[blueangel]

Seems we're on a bit of a tangent here. On the subject of kids and alcohol... I understand what Honeychile is getting at.. and yes.. kids do drink wine in Europe.

However, recent studies are showing that alcohol can cause possibly irreversable damage to a developing child's brain. Whether a glass here and there can do harm, I don't know. Personally though, I wouldn't chance it.

Here's an article from the AMA:

http://www.ama-assn.org/ama/pub/category/9416.html

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by blueangel

However, recent studies are showing that alcohol can cause possibly irreversable damage to a developing child's brain. Whether a glass here and there can do harm, I don't know. Personally though, I wouldn't chance it.

I think I'd still rather chance slight irreversible damage, and teach them how to drink responsibly, then have them turn out like my brother-in-law, who would embarrass a fish with the amount he drinks EVERY NIGHT. Yes, I know that's an extreme case, but being that my husband's biological father died of alcoholism, I think it's important to teach my kids responsibility when it comes to alcohol. My husband, knowing that his father (and now, apparently, his brother) was an alcoholic, is VERY careful about how much he drinks and how often.

[greekalum]

I don't know, I think if your family runs to alcoholism it's best to teach your children to just avoid. Teenage drinking is being shown more and more to be especially dangerous, and add a genetic predisposition to "My mom let me drink wine with dinner starting at age 10" and I think you're just giving your child a head start.

As for kids dining out, I think it is entirely appropriate once your child has mastered proper manners- that age probably varies from child to child.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by greekalum

I don't know, I think if your family runs to alcoholism it's best to teach your children to just avoid.

That's exactly what I DON'T want to do...make it seem like the forbidden fruit. That WILL come back to bite. You tell a teenager not to do something, and they're GOING to do it.

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

That's exactly what I DON'T want to do...make it seem like the forbidden fruit. That WILL come back to bite. You tell a teenager not to do something, and they're GOING to do it.

So your kid is 'smart' enough to understand that something that's given to them in moderation doesn't need to be abused (or that moderation is better), even when genetic predisposition works pretty hard to overcome this ability to be moderate, but not smart enough to understand the dangers of hereditary alcoholism and the way to avoid the problems?

Makes sense.