Accepting Bid as a contract

[exlurker]

Originally Posted by Zillini

As a general statement, too often I hear young women say "I didn't know _____ before I signed my name. It's not fair, they should have explained it to me." This applies to recruitment as well as things like new credit cards, car loans, you name it.

So my question is how much info is provided to the PNMs? Are they given a copy of the NPC policies governing pref card signing and/or bid acceptance or is it strictly how well informed/trained their Rho Chi is? Does it vary by campus? How much responsibility falls on the PNM to understand what it is she is signing and what obligations she is committing to? How much responsibility falls on NPC and the campus Panhellenics to make sure these young women comprehend the committment and process?

Zillini, those are excellent questions, I think. Furthermore, after having read a lot of GC recruitment threads over a couple of years, I think they're questions that a lot of college panhellenics should be addressing. It's at the point -- for me -- that when I see the almost ubiquitous "Bill of Rights" posted on a school's NPC recruitment page, I want to laugh.

(I'm talking about the document so many panhellenics use -- example:

http://www.illiniphcrecruitment.com/...p?page_id=1904

and on many, many other sites.)

There may be some disconnects between what that 'Bill of Rights" says and what actually happens. One that gets discussed a lot on GC has to do with the process, especially all the implications of ranking / not ranking after preference parties. This includes pros and cons of single intentional preferencing (and indeed, whether SIP is even permitted). I've gotten the impression, rightly or wrongly, that there's a lot of hazy information or misinformation out there.

Another issue is giving true and honest answers to questions. I guess it's all well and good to say that, but PNMs may have questions that no one can or will answer, most notably, "why did XYZ cut me"? Since membership selection is private, there's no way to answer that. Maybe grades, maybe recruitment figure numbers, maybe not clicking with rushers, maybe a particular chapter's version of the dreaded and solemn "I Don't Believe She Would Be Happy in XYZ." Maybe other things.

I guess I'd especially encourage college panhellenics to see if they can come up with understandable, plain English explanations of the recruitment process, especially the "end game," if I may call it that. IN tandem with distributing that to PNMs and going over it with them, of course, recruitment counselors need adequate training and probably some backup local esperts who are ultra-familiar with their Green Books and campus recruitment policies. Trouble is, especially for small and medium size panhellenics, that could require investing a lot more time and effort in preparing the RCs. Still, I wince inwardly when I read things on GC like "my RC wouldn't let me SIP, but I know girls in other groups who did it." Yikes. If true, things like that don't do much for the credibility of the recruitment process or of NPC Greeks.

Having vented now, I must say that probably the majority of PNMs at any given school feel somewhere in the range from fairly happy to ecstatic with the whole process and the outcome. Really, it's up to panhellenics and NPC to evaluate whether changes or improvements need to be made.

[carnation]

I started a thread a few years ago about forced prefs. Having PNMs go to the maximum number of parties is okay--until prefs. That is so wrong and so is putting pressure on PNMs not to SIP. I can't believe that NPC would condone this as it no doubt results in lots of truly unhappy new members who drop out or desperately wish they had before initiation.

I'd be surprised, though, if NPC even listened to anyone who tried to approach them about this.

[Zillini]

Carnation has a very valid point. I'm sure from NPC's "big picture" standpoint they view the situation as trying to support the entire system, thus SIPing is a negative outcome. They anticipate that a PMN should be able to find happiness and friendship anywhere she ends up.

I can agree with that for the most part in regards to large, many Chapter campuses. If most of the Chapters' totals are 100+ members, odds are almost everyone should be able to find somebody they can be friends with in almost every house. But it's more problematic with small campuses (meaning # of GLOs to choose from) and/or Chapters' sizes.

If Polly PNM knows in her heart that she would not be happy at ABC and would never accept a bid from them, then she shouldn't be forced to put them on her Pref card. For that matter she shouldn't be required to accept their invite to their Pref round. But the way the policies are written Polly must maximize her options and invites so it puts her in a bad situation. Plus it can also hurt ABC Chapter because perhaps they would have invited another PMN to Pref instead of Polly PNM.

I also agree with Exlurker. NPC and the locals need to devise a better, plain english text to educate the PNMs and the Rho Chis. I hate the idea of holding someone accountable for committing to something they didn't understand. We've all heard horror stories of clueless Rho Chis.

But again as a general statement, one lesson my Father taught me at a young age was never sign anything I didn't understand and to always read the fine print. Sure the majority of times it might be no big deal, but it just takes one time getting burned to really screw you up your life.

[texgal]

I really have disagree with Carnation about the "forced" prefs. I wouldn't have before, but I recently finished my time as a Recruitment Counselor and realized why making girls attend the maximum amount of parties is a good thing.

Specifically, I had one girl in my group who in Round 3 got invited back to three parties. Being that there aren't a ton of sororities on our campus, my partner and I had made the prediction that this girl would fit in best at ABC from day one. Well, from round one, she was in love with XYZ. All she talked about was how wonderful XYZ was, how much she loved them, etc. When we presented her with her invitations to Round 3, she was excited about XYZ, but annoyed that she had to go to ABC and DEF. Anyway, after Round 3, she was still 100% XYZ, but liked ABC and DEF a little more. For Prefs, she was invited back to XYZ and ABC. She was thrilled about the first one. All she wanted in the world was XYZ, and again, she was a little annoyed about having to go to ABC.

Once prefs were over, this girl flagged my partner and I down, crying. She didn't know what to do. My partner ended up talking to her for over an hour about where she felt most at home, where did she feel she fit in best, who could she see spending the next 4+ years with, to ignore what's best for her friend and do what's best for her, etc. She ended up signing her pref card with ABC as her first choice and recieved a bid to that house. This might sound like an isolated instance, but this happened to two girls in my group of 14. While my partner was counseling one girl, I spent nearly two hours with another, who wan't interested in the house she is now a new member of until after pref. Neither of these girls really realized how serious of a decision it was until Pref night - they were listening to rumors, wanting to stay with their friends, and falling for superficial things like pretty decorations and big houses. On Pref night, not only do PNMs start realizing how serious of a decision it is, but they really realize that they would not be at a chapter's pref unless that chapter saw something in them.

So "forcing" girls to go to pref, in my opinion, is not the worst thing in the world. If they absolutely do not want to be in that chapter, they can attend pref, be polite, and SIP on their card.

[FSUZeta]

texgal, if you can, would you please keep track of these two girls to see if they do initiate and become involved with their chapters? i know that this would be an unscientific poll at its best-but i would be interested to know, and i venture to guess that others would too.

i know of several girls this recruitment season who kept getting invitations from chapters that they had ranked low. they had to go back, and they were not happy about it-however, being the genteel ladies that they are, and having been raised properly, they were gracious at the parties. they did get their #1 choice of bid, and are quite happy -i don't know what woud have happened if their bids had not worked out they way they wanted, and if they had gotten a bid from the houses they ranked low every day. i don't like forcing someone to go somewhere they do not want to go-these women are old enough to vote, and live away at college. aren't they old enough to decide whose invitations they accept or decline?

[UGAalum94]

however, if we take the "let them decide with invitations to accept and decline" too far, we'd see a whole lot more girls cut themselves out of rush in the early rounds.

I don't think girls should be obligated to accept a bid or face a penalty (other than not being eligible for quota addtions) for "suiciding" if they don't want a bid from other houses.

But I think they should have to attend the maximum number of parties through rush so they have other options if they get cut by some of their early favorites.

[carnation]

What Alphagamuga said! Because if you're going to force women to go to prefs they never wanted to go to, it's horrible to then penalize them for SIPing. It can also hurt sororities.

I recall a couple of years ago hearing about a sorority that had 2 full pref parties and didn't get one new member from them. Why? Because apparently, no one wanted to be there but was forced by Panhellenic to go as their second pref party. Girls who were in-house legacies or otherwise almost sure things to get a bid elsewhere were sitting there, as I'm told, with gritted teeth just counting the minutes until they could be out. Most of the members were aware of it and were in tears.

Then the next day when the bid lists came out and the sorority had no pledges, they were torn up again because some of them had been so sure that PNMs were there because they really liked them. The girls who told me about this said that of all the girls they knew at that pref, every one SIPed another sorority.