How to Soothe This Pain???

Munchkin03 · #1 08-20-2006, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GaMom

Isn't it only proper for my daughter to send notes to all the women who wrote letters on her behalf, and if so, how does she phrase this?
Thanks, GaMom

Yes. Any rec writer would appreciate any news--even if it isn't the best news!

adpiucf's draft was great! A week or two does help, but she should definitely send something, even if it turns out she doesn't go through Recruitment. Writing recs is a long process, and us alumnae like to know how things turned out--no matter what.

Best of luck to you and your daughter.

Speechpath · #2 08-20-2006, 07:53 PM

I'm very sorry to hear about your daughters experience. Having attended UGA, I know all too well how difficult the rush process is and every year there are wonderful, outstanding women who for whatever reason do not end up with a bid. I hope she will consider COR or rush again if she chooses. Sounds like she has an wonderful and supportive mom which is most important for her right now. Best wishes to you both.

mkgirl · #3 08-20-2006, 07:57 PM

OK, this thread is breaking my heart. My daughter went through rush 6 years ago and I can remember the anticipation, and her pain of getting cut from a group during the process. She was picked by her first choice, but she had an opportunity to meet girls during a freshman "leadership camp" the summer before, and her campus was not nearly as competitive as some I have read about on this board. I have a question now....is something like this a good argument for having deferred rush? A time for the pnm's to get to know the different groups and for the groups to really get to know the pnm's??

She may still yet get to experience Greek life...I have no doubt she will make friends and be invited to parties and events and a bid may await her down the road. If not, there are so many organizations out there. She sounds like a leader, and she'll find a place for herself. (((hugs)))to mom and daughter.

Scandia · #4 08-20-2006, 08:33 PM

I would not be shocked if many girls like me got bids at other schools.

But UF is as tight as it can get.

Munchkin03 · #5 08-20-2006, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scandia

But UF is as tight as it can get.

It might be now, but it wasn't a few years ago. There were a few "geeks" in my class, and they got into sororities at UF.

But this thread isn't about your rush experience a decade ago, unless you have real solid advice for GaMom.

GaMom · #6 08-20-2006, 09:05 PM

Thank you!! You ladies are so great! I will absolutely pass along the draft of ADPiUCF's note. I know my daughter will appreciate all your kind words just as I have. You are all credits to your organizations!
GaMom

BethKAT · #7 08-27-2006, 09:22 PM

I myself never went out for formal rush the 1st year because of an awful experience my cousin had at Auburn not getting into a legacy chapter of her mother (at the same school). She also had the best grades, good looks and was a nice person (but from out of state) She continued to make good grades become involved in activities and got into that sorority her sophmore year.
1st I want to commend your daughter for the courage and she can never say she didn't try her 1st year. I got involved in organizations and met people and signed up for COB and joined the winter of my sophmore year and had a great time with lots of diverse friends.

My advice; sign up for COB. get to know others who can write recs and girls in the sorority (they CAMPAIGN for the girls they want in so she needs an ally on the inside). Go out for organizations like atheletic supporter organziations(Diamond Dolls and Match Mates) and Student Government anything to pad her "resume" Most important make top grades. Then try it again next year. If you get to know girls let them know your interest in going through rush next year and when you become friends ask them to support you. But be cool. Hope this helps. I am proud of her because she tried. She will never have regrets about not trying.

EGAOPi · #8 10-12-2006, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scandia

I would not be shocked if many girls like me got bids at other schools.

But UF is as tight as it can get.

I disagree that UF is as tight as it can get. I have known many people that went through recruitment at UF and had wonderful experiences. Several of them have been the girl that you describe--the class nerd and unconventionally attractive.
I'm sorry that your experience did not go well, however--I know many girls go through recruitment up there and sometimes ranking and finding out where you belong can be difficult. I hope you are still enjoying UF nonetheless-whenever I visit, I always have a lot of fun up there!

33girl · #9 08-22-2006, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mkgirl

I have a question now....is something like this a good argument for having deferred rush? A time for the pnm's to get to know the different groups and for the groups to really get to know the pnm's??

YES.

If I had had to rush straight out of high school, I would NEVER have gotten a bid - and I'd wager there are many other people on here w/ the same story.

TXMom · #10 08-22-2006, 05:37 PM

GAMom, check your pm's

StateUGirl · #11 08-22-2006, 10:55 PM

I do feel bad for her but the GC gang should not be so quick to recommend that she try COB or going through rush again. UGA obviously has a very competative rush and this may not be a realistic option. Pretending that it is will may only delay her realizing that she will probably not join a sorority at UGA and should spend her time and efforts finding a non-greek group of friends and non-greek activities to become involved in.

AUDeltaGam · #12 08-22-2006, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StateUGirl

I do feel bad for her but the GC gang should not be so quick to recommend that she try COB or going through rush again. UGA obviously has a very competative rush and this may not be a realistic option. Pretending that it is will may only delay her realizing that she will probably not join a sorority at UGA and should spend her time and efforts finding a non-greek group of friends and non-greek activities to become involved in.

But there is a chance that some sororities will COB (I can think of one offhand) and there IS a chance she can rerush next year. She should spend time making new friends, because that's an important part of college, but she shouldn't completely close the door on rushing.

UGAalum94 · #13 08-23-2006, 07:09 AM

I went through rush and dropped out. I was crushed that many groups that I thought I wanted cut me. (I was trying to impress a boy, rather than choose for myself.)

At the time, I didn't think my mom was sympathetic enough, but in hindsight I think the way she encouraged me to get over it and not regard it as the end of the world helped.

I was disposed to think an unsuccessful rush was the end of the world, and my mom knew that life went on, and that if a bad sorority rush was the worst think that ever happened to me, I’d had a pretty easy life.

Inadvertently, your efforts at helping her may make her think it was important to you, and that she let you down

So maybe rather than offering her more ways to resolve rush in the way she thought it would go, a touch of my mom’s “get over it” attitude might help her keep things in perspective.

And, later if she really wants to COB or COR, or even go through rush again next year, she can. But she’ll know that those are only a couple of the options that she’ll have at college.

I tend to think your daughter is probably a great young woman and that the sororities made a mistake by not offering her a bid. Really, it’s their loss. Your daughter should go on and do all the other activities that she thought she might do, make good grades, and generally be the awesome young woman she is.