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I am in no way advocating lying, but I also want to point out that the chapters have virtually zero contact with one another during recruitment outside of submitting disks (or whatever they're submitting these days to get invite lists). This isn't a hard and fast silence rule that I am aware of, but they're far too busy (or in many cases don't have the relationships) to ask about specific PNMs and invite lists amid the other chapters.
If anyone asked another PNM point-blank what other sororities she was visiting, that would be pretty uncomfortable! I think a smart PNM who wants to be invited back would smile brightly answer, "Oh you know ---I don't think that's important! I'm standing in the only one that matters!"
I would think responding somewhere along those lines the sorority woman would be flattered and a PNM could change the subject by asking her hostess what she loves most about her sorority, her favorite sorority experience/tradition, etc.
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