You complete me?

SummerChild · #1 07-31-2006, 05:40 PM

To some extent I feel that my boyfriend completes certain things/desires w/in me such as the need/desire for companionship and to receive romantic love from others. I feel like I do have these needs and if he was not in my life, I could get something reminiscent to the companionship and love that I receive from him from someone else or from my family although it would not be the same.

So yes, I would say that to some extent, he completes (needs/desires w/in) me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoldenGlow2000

I was listening to the radio yesterday and the topic of the day was: Completeness. Do you feel that you need a significant other in order to feel complete? Do you need someone to complete you? Just wondering how many of us do, and how many of us don't and why or why not?

Intense1920 · #2 07-31-2006, 06:25 PM

I don't believe in completing, I believe in complimenting.

tunatartare · #3 07-31-2006, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Intense1920

I don't believe in completing, I believe in complimenting.

I like that a lot. I think that saying that another person completes you is quite dramatic and over-the-top. Basically, what it's saying is that you can't exist or function without the person. This is simply not true, you can do quite well most of the time on your own, although it's nice when you have that special someone there with you. The other problem with saying it is that it can make you place too much blame on partners when you're unhappy. It's saying that you need someone there for you always to be happy and fulfilled, when you need to look at yourself and see why you're unhappy or unsatisfied and realize that only you can do what needs to be done to make yourself fulfilled.

ZetaStorm · #4 08-01-2006, 01:15 AM

No I don't feel that another person can complete you. I do agree that partners should compliment one another. This is probably why so many relationships fail. It's like setting your partner up for failure. When he/she doesn't live up to your unrealistic expectations then resentment settles in and it's all downhill from there. I think it's best to love yourself first and then you can love another person. If you love yourself there are certain things that you aren't going to accept in a relationship. (Example, cheating, disrespectful partners, abusive partners, etc.) I think that it's wonderful when you find that special someone who can share in your triumphs and accomplishments and in general life's journey. For me I'm turned off when a man is just too focused on me. He needs to have a life of his own outside of me. Heather Headley's song Me Time is a perfect example of this.

preciousjeni · #5 07-31-2006, 06:46 PM

My completeness lies only in God. My significant other is a God-given partner whose primary focus is God, not me. If he started focusing too much on me, I'd be worried because I'm not God.

f8nacn · #6 08-01-2006, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

My completeness lies only in God. My significant other is a God-given partner whose primary focus is God, not me. If he started focusing too much on me, I'd be worried because I'm not God.

I agree with this...100%

SeriousSigma22 · #7 08-01-2006, 08:05 PM

My completeness lies only in God. . . Ditto! He truly is the only one that can complete us all!

Serioussigma22

GoldenGlow2000 · #8 08-02-2006, 09:33 AM

I really do believe I have found the one that seriously compliments me. Not completes me. But he does add to my well being!

pinkies up · #9 08-03-2006, 11:41 PM

You know, I told my husband that I loved him but that I didn't need him. He was shocked. I explained to him that a need is something you have to have by any means necessary. (food, water, etc.) My life doesn't end if he deceided not to be with me and my life did not begin with him. I told him that I was a whole person before he came into my life and with him I am still a whole person. We, as women, sometimes wait for someone so our life can begin. If you are living and breathing, well...you have life. I was single and enjoyed going out by myself. I know I sound like Oprah or something right now, but I just feel like as women we are so strong and we lose our dayum minds when a man comes in the picture. Be happy and love YOU first.

Marie · #10 08-04-2006, 02:56 PM

While I won't say that a mate can complete you, I do think that when you are with a person for a very long time, then they become a part of you (in a sense). Here we say, "My mate only compliments me, but I'm complete as I am." Yet if we were talking to a widow/widower, then we'd completely understand what they meant by saying "I feel like I've lost a part of myself" or "A part of me is missing". I don't think that these two things have to be mutually exclusive. True, you should be independent and able to love yourself and stand on your own, and all of that. However, I don't think that there is anything wrong with feeling connected to your spouse/mate, growing to depend/rely on them to a normal extent, getting joy/happiness from them, etc. This is what I think of when I think of the phrase "You complete me." I think that a mate does provide 'something' that you cannot provide to yourself. It doesn't mean that you don't love yourself or are missing something, etc. It just means that they are bringing something different to the table; just like you are bringing that back to them. This shouldn't be a bad thing. As Chrisitians we already know that Eve was scuplted from Adam's rib, so it seems that we are meant to be a part of/and connected to our mates. I don't think that you have to sacrafice your self-love, respect, worth, independence, etc to do this.