Co-worker?

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

We weren't either. The shoe had to be one color (brown or black) only. No white.

Maybe that was their logic. I wore some pretty sweet Minnetonka moccasins most of the time.

[33girl]

I'm not quite sure what's going on, but when I hear socks with Mary Janes, I think of the ZZ Top videos. Or naughty websites.

[SOPi_Jawbreaker]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'm not quite sure what's going on, but when I hear socks with Mary Janes, I think of the ZZ Top videos. Or naughty websites.

That's probably because you've got a dirty mind.

[Scandia]

I really appreciate all the advice you have given me about shoes. I love Ann Taylor Loft and shop there too much. I do not wear the "bunny shirts" and other similar things that early childhood teachers are notorious for. I do wear fashionable professional clothes- but that day was a really scorching summer day where what I wore may have been better for the mall.

Anyhow, regarding the original topic, I am afraid that someone else may have snagged the guy already. Another co-worker, that is. He waved to her this morning when she came into the staff meeting. They did not seem to flirt or look at each other or stand next to each other. However, they exited the workplace together today- they came down the same elevator and seemed to be headed towards the same parking lot. It may not be what it seems, but I have a very strong intuition. And I am upset to be honest. I will gladly still pursue a friendship, since we do share similar interests. And I will try my best to see it simply as an isolated event and not in the cosmic sense. I do not have much experience with relationships, but I am a healthy person with many friends who gets along with my co-workers.

Rudey- that's old news. Find something new.

[kddani]

Originally Posted by Scandia

Anyhow, regarding the original topic, I am afraid that someone else may have snagged the guy already. Another co-worker, that is. He waved to her this morning when she came into the staff meeting. They did not seem to flirt or look at each other or stand next to each other. However, they exited the workplace together today- they came down the same elevator and seemed to be headed towards the same parking lot. It may not be what it seems, but I have a very strong intuition. And I am upset to be honest. I will gladly still pursue a friendship, since we do share similar interests. And I will try my best to see it simply as an isolated event and not in the cosmic sense. I do not have much experience with relationships, but I am a healthy person with many friends who gets along with my co-workers.

Rudey- that's old news. Find something new.

Wow, you are being very presumptuous, I wonder if you're doing it subconsciously as an excuse to convince yourself out of your feelings for him. You have absolutely ZERO indication that anything is going on with them. Men and women can be friends. They can leave work together, they can hang out, etc. without there being romantic relationship involved. I hang out with guys that I work with all the time. It's part of being social and networking.

If you do not have much experience with relationships, you really shouldn't rely on your "intuition" because you don't have anything to base that intuition on.

You don't have to justify things all the time, like adding the qualifier that "I am a healthy person with many friends who gets along with my co-workers." Such a lack of self confidence can really undermine any points you are trying to make or personal relationships you are trying to build. Have self confidence and don't try to frame things like that. As the saying goes, you have to learn to love yourself before someone else can love you.

[Scandia]

KDDani- I am working very hard this year on loving myself, so that someday I can love another in a healthy way. I know that men and women can be just friends. I have had platonic male friends- including a pretty close one in college that came to visit me long distance and that I attended the wedding of. I will be seeing another male friend this weekend at a convention.

I'm just not good with the relationship stuff. I do not know how much I should let out, but it has nature and nurture components. And I don't have much confidence, hence at times I feel I do have to justify my feelings and preferences.

Regarding intuition, once I saw the boyfriend of one of my good friends talking to some girl in the bus at UF. Now I talked to billions of guys and girls on the bus every day. They did not seem to be flirting. They were not touching or hugging each other. Conversation was small talk. Yet my gut responded automatically- I got this feeling in my stomach that something was not right between him and my friend. That night, my friend called me to tell me she broke up with him. It has reacted in similar ways regarding breakups of other friends recently. They did not have to say that they were breaking up/divorcing for me to know- and sometimes the hints they dropped were not direct or related at all.

You are right in that this is a slightly different situation, since it involves making a couple rather than breaking one.

And regarding convincing myself out of feelings, at this point it is still feasible and rather easy if he were taken indeed. I tend to lose interest very quickly once I find out someone is taken. However, it will hurt more- since he was taken by someone else he may have met at the same time he met me.

[Jimmy Choo]

Scandia

You never know til you try. Just still maybe ask him out for drinks or coffee or something. Even if you don't date, you could make a new friend! I don't want to question your initution but this guy and other girl might just be friends. Or he might have been going on a date with her and its nothing serious. And look at it this way, if this doesn't work out for you, it's get you some practice for next time!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin

Maybe that was their logic. I wore some pretty sweet Minnetonka moccasins most of the time.

I had those too. About the comfiest dress/casuals you can get.

ETA: You know you're on GC when a discussion about office romance turns into a shoe discussion.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I had those too. About the comfiest dress/casuals you can get.

ETA: You know you're on GC when a discussion about office romance turns into a shoe discussion.

Mine had an awesome beaded Native American gentleman on them. They were blue and he was red and white - very matchy matchy with the kilt.

Scandia, I understand that you like Mary Janes but if you are having a hard time wearing them without socks, maybe it's time to get some cute, stylish new work shoes! I bet if you make a separate thread about that people will be happy to help you e-shop.

[adpiucf]

Scandia, I understand where you're coming from. You get COLD. I sympathize. I'm cold in 80 degree weather! And for some reason, the hotter and more humid outside, the colder the A/C inside at work!

Ditch the skirts. You need tailored slacks, button down shirts and sweater sets or fitted cardigans. You can wear trouser socks which go up to just below the knee, and loafers or a closed toe and all over shoe with a little bit of a heel. Knee-high boots and low boots really are only for fall and winter, so you may want to invest in some simple flats for the summer.

I love DSW for shoes. For clothes, Ann Taylor is a great place to start. I used to work at an Ann Taylor Loft in college, and their associates do a great job of helping you build pieces for your wardrobe. It helps to start with a basic dark color like navy, black or brown and build a look around that color with items like 1) Slacks, 2) long fitted skirt, 3) just below the knee skirt, 4) blazer in the dominant dark color. And then going with complimentary shoes-- loafer, closed and open toe heel, sandles, boots. Then finding complimentary tops in patterns and solids and in a variety of colors. There are plenty of books on building a classic wardrobe out there.

The other posters are right. You walk a fine line between the styles you wear as a child, a young woman and an old woman. Your clothes (right on down to your shoes) can make you look old or frumpy, and not like the lovely young woman you are. When you dress a certain way, it can change your entire outlook on life and the way others see you!

If you can't find the right stores in Tampa, take a field trip to Orlando for the great outlet shopping!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin

Scandia, I understand that you like Mary Janes but if you are having a hard time wearing them without socks, maybe it's time to get some cute, stylish new work shoes! I bet if you make a separate thread about that people will be happy to help you e-shop.

Thank you J. Crew:



Classic argyle. Cute. May work better with Mary Janes and still look semi-professional.

[Rudey]

Why can't people just be straight up with someone else and tell them the truth?

Scandia you are a social anomaly.

-Rudey

[Jimmy Choo]

I would only say do the mary jane and sock thing if you are making it really punky. My LSAT instructor wore multistripe knee-high socks with the Doc Martin mary janes. I would never wear that b/c it's just not my style but since that does seem to be yours that's one way to wear it and make it funky, not old maid or childish. But if you want to branch out, like everyone has told you....DSW is awesome! You can get fanastic name brands at reasonable prices. And for something a little bit more stylish, amazingly I recommend Express for some very nice suiting pieces. I got a wonderful suit from there yesterday and it cost hardly anything, in terms of what a suit can cost anyway! I would have never thought I could wear their stuff b/c it's usually cut very small and the pants aren't always flattering on anyone with curves. But I highly suggest giving them a look b/c it's actually very classy and a hot suit can impress a man! I know my bf was highly impressed!

[VandalSquirrel]

I'm just going to say that this is based off things you've posted, so I may be way off, but it doesn't sound like you've had a lot of experience with relationships, and work relationships require finesse to handle even if they are good, or even more to handle if they go ugly, really ugly. When you date someone at work, even if it is the most perfect relationship ever you are going to have to deal with your coworkers making comments and everyone being all up in your business. I don't know if you're as open at work about yourself as you are online, but you may work with people who will use it against you. Why not just attempt a friendship with this guy as it seems you have common interests and if it becomes more than friends with common interests look at the situation then.

On to your work attire:
I find it odd that you work in a public library as a youth librarian and they made an issue of socks and Mary Janes. Most public libraries and library staff I've seen really rock whimsical stuff hardcore because of the kid factor. It isn't the way I'd dress, but it always felt like that was one of the only acceptable places to wear vests and sweaters with cats on them or earrings and socks with a shape or design. If you were a plain old reference librarian it wouldn't even be that odd, but a youth librarian it is the norm for a lot of places. One of my bosses is totally awesome, but wears socks with Teva rafting sandals and it makes me super sad Maybe you need to write Library Journal to the column on work place issues and they have people write in with their analysis. Just don't wear farm animal toe socks with Birkenstocks (I've seen this before )