Obesity

PM_Mama00 · #1 07-18-2006, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I don't agree that it's socially responsible and acceptable to tell someone to quit smoking. Telling your friends what to do is never a good idea, period.

If I were obsese, I'm pretty sure I'm smart enough to be able to figure that out on my own without any friends telling me.

Agreed. The only time I really tell my friends what to do is when they are endangering their lives or someone else's life... for example drunk driving, etc.

f8nacn · #2 07-18-2006, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

Agreed. The only time I really tell my friends what to do is when they are endangering their lives or someone else's life... for example drunk driving, etc.

Are you truly a friend then????

valkyrie · #3 07-18-2006, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by f8nacn

Are you truly a friend then????

Yes, I think so. A "friend" is someone who respects you and doesn't tell you what to do.

f8nacn · #4 07-18-2006, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

Yes, I think so. A "friend" is someone who respects you and doesn't tell you what to do.

There is a difference in being respectful and authoritative and being disrespectful and authoritative...I don't friends who, as I mentioned earlier, will not tell me like it is, no matter how I may feel in the end if it is for my good...

Dionysus · #5 07-18-2006, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by f8nacn

There is a difference in being respectful and authoritative and being disrespectful and authoritative...I don't friends who, as I mentioned earlier, will not tell me like it is, no matter how I may feel in the end if it is for my good...

I agree. What's the point of having friends if they don't change you for the better? Also, I don't trust people who always say positive things about me.

f8nacn · #6 07-18-2006, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dionysus

Also, I don't trust people who always say positive things about me.

Exactly...everything can't always be positive...friends stick together through the good the bad the ugly...

PM_Mama00 · #7 07-18-2006, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by f8nacn

Are you truly a friend then????

I chose my friends because of who they are. If I wanted to tell her what to do, then why would I choose her? I'll suggest things nicely, give her advice when needed, and help her with things, but when it comes to my best friends the only thing i feel the need to tell them about is their drunk driving.

f8nacn · #8 07-18-2006, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

I chose my friends because of who they are. If I wanted to tell her what to do, then why would I choose her? I'll suggest things nicely, give her advice when needed, and help her with things, but when it comes to my best friends the only thing i feel the need to tell them about is their drunk driving.

That's my point exactly...you shouldn't choose a friend based on looks...that person could be the very person to stick to you when times are hard....and when you need someone to be there for you.

Telling someone WHAT TO DO is different than offering suggestions and input...

Adelphean · #9 07-18-2006, 11:09 PM

99.9% of overweight/obese people KNOW that they are overweight or obese.

If I had a friend walk up to me and say smoking is bad and you shouldn't do it, I'd say hmmmm... I must have missed the memo on that, but thanks for letting me know.

If I had a friend come up to me and say you're overweight and being overweight is bad for you, I'd say fuck you, and not be their friend anymore.

Larger people don't need to be told that they're fat. I think they get the message when that size 16 just doesn't fit anymore.

There a PLENTY of things that are bad for you including smoking and being overweight. But in the end.... if you're not the one who is the smoker or is overweight, it's not your problem and it's DEFINITELY none of your business.

Drolefille · #10 07-18-2006, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adelphean

99.9% of overweight/obese people KNOW that they are overweight or obese.

If I had a friend walk up to me and say smoking is bad and you shouldn't do it, I'd say hmmmm... I must have missed the memo on that, but thanks for letting me know.

If I had a friend come up to me and say you're overweight and being overweight is bad for you, I'd say fuck you, and not be their friend anymore.

Larger people don't need to be told that they're fat. I think they get the message when that size 16 just doesn't fit anymore.

There a PLENTY of things that are bad for you including smoking and being overweight. But in the end.... if you're not the one who is the smoker or is overweight, it's not your problem and it's DEFINITELY none of your business.

If you watch a friend's weight balloon within a short period of time, I'd be VERY concerned. That's often a sign something else is going on.

I don't see any reason why you can't sit down and say, Hey, I'm worried about you. That's honest and caring and not mean at all.

I had to do it for a friend of mine who, despite her diabetes, would either eat nothing, or lots of sugar, and would binge and purge. Not confronting was dangerous.

The same can be true of someone who gets drunk to the point of unconciousness regularly, or who smokes so much they sound 80 when they're 19... And, I think of someone who's overweight to the point of very very unhealthy.

If you're a friend, it should be your business. You're supposed to look out for each other...

f8nacn · #11 07-19-2006, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adelphean

There a PLENTY of things that are bad for you including smoking and being overweight. But in the end.... if you're not the one who is the smoker or is overweight, it's not your problem and it's DEFINITELY none of your business.

So if it was a family member would you still say that it is their business and say that it isn't your problem?

BobbyTheDon · #12 07-19-2006, 12:43 AM

Freakin fatties. Thank god I don't associate with fatties. you all irritate me with your laziness and excuses. Sure, blame genetics. Go ahead. You no will power motor boatin sons of bitches.

wrigley · #13 07-19-2006, 01:20 AM

Adelphean and previous posters are stating that it's hurtful to be blunt about someone else's flaws. No one is perfect. When someone has a addiction be it to food, alcohol, etc... the psychological problem is bigger sometimes than the physical action. In some cases they're feeding their feelings of inadequacy.

Whether it's a friend or a family member, it's important to let them know you care for them just as they are warts and all. Unconditional love and support is a rare commodity these days.

PM_Mama00 · #14 07-19-2006, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adelphean

99.9% of overweight/obese people KNOW that they are overweight or obese.

If I had a friend walk up to me and say smoking is bad and you shouldn't do it, I'd say hmmmm... I must have missed the memo on that, but thanks for letting me know.

If I had a friend come up to me and say you're overweight and being overweight is bad for you, I'd say fuck you, and not be their friend anymore.

Larger people don't need to be told that they're fat. I think they get the message when that size 16 just doesn't fit anymore.

There a PLENTY of things that are bad for you including smoking and being overweight. But in the end.... if you're not the one who is the smoker or is overweight, it's not your problem and it's DEFINITELY none of your business.

Exactly. And if they don't get the hint that their clothes are getting too small for them, the looks, stares and comments from strangers will most likely give them a hint. When someone has to deal with it from strangers (and most of the time family), who needs friends adding more?

Jimmy Choo · #15 07-19-2006, 10:37 AM

As someone who is currently struggling to bring her weight back in line I will say that sometimes weight gain is triggered by other factors in your life. I just left a absoulutely awful job!! The amount of stress that it caused was riduclous. Since I have quit said job I have lost almost 20lbs. In about another 7lbs I will be at the top end of what doctors recommend for my height and I am thrilled!!!! During this awful time in my life if someone had said to me "Geez, you've gained some weight!" I bet money I would have slapped them b/c I knew I had. I had a whole closet full of hot clothes that didn't fit anymore to prove it! If you see a friend stuggling with weight, especially if it comes on suddenly (like mine did) reach out to them and ask them what is going on in their life. That to me is the most tactful way to approach the situation. And that is exactly how my friends approached it and for that I am grateful.....