So here I go.....

[Jimmy Choo]

I thought I should better clarify what I meant by the ending of my last post. I've read on here a lot that people can tell if a PNAM has prematurely dropped a group and what not. I kinda feel like if I group had a good time with you and thought you might be a good fit that they would get back in touch with you quickly. That does not appear to be the case to me. I guess my question is am I overreacting to the silence I am getting from this group or am I getting blown off and no one will tell me so? Because if this group doens't think I'm a match, that's ok. But I don't want give up on a group too soon. So that's kinda the type of answer I am looking for. Thank you to anyone who can shed some light on this.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by ecupidelta

I thought I should better clarify what I meant by the ending of my last post. I've read on here a lot that people can tell if a PNAM has prematurely dropped a group and what not. I kinda feel like if I group had a good time with you and thought you might be a good fit that they would get back in touch with you quickly. That does not appear to be the case to me. I guess my question is am I overreacting to the silence I am getting from this group or am I getting blown off and no one will tell me so? Because if this group doens't think I'm a match, that's ok. But I don't want give up on a group too soon. So that's kinda the type of answer I am looking for. Thank you to anyone who can shed some light on this.

ecupidelta, and other Potential Alumnae Initiates: please realize that, to many NPC groups, this is a new concept. There had been women initiated (such as housemothers) based on service to the GLO, but for the most part, a lot of Alumnae Associations don't truly know how to conduct the part of inviting or declining someone who is a PNAM. Some GLOs do not invite a PNAM to a function unless she's already been vetted by several members; others will invite someone based on a call from their Headquarters.

In other words, there are so many variables that no one can really give you an answer as to if there's been any sort of decision made. Just hang in there, and I'm sure someone will say something. Good luck!

[Jimmy Choo]

Thanks Honeychille!

I guess I just wanted to seek out some feedback on this just to see what some other people experiences had been. I don't want to keep contacting a group if they don't want me! But if they do and there are just things going on and they just haven't had a chance to get back to you, then you could seem like a psycho. And then if you back off on your communication, you could seem uninterested. It's such a fine line between any of those scenarios I just wanted to see what others had to say (so I can attempt to avoid any of those above listed scenarios!)

[MJo19]

Hey ecipidelta! You could always drop a "feeler." LOL. I know that sounds terrible! If you have their email address, just send them a polite email saying something like, I hope you had a safe and happy July 4th. That way they might go oh yea and think you are polite for thinking about them. If not,they might go huh, ok and delete. Either way, it doesn't make you sound like a stalker in my lil opinion and you may get a response. Keep your head up and think positive...

[kddani]

Again, to reiterate, it's the summer. Many AA's take a break for the summer, many times officers change over the summer, etc.

And like honeychile said, AA is NOT a common thing. Many AA groups would have no idea how to deal with it. They have no idea what the procedures are. And quite frankly, if they don't know much about it, they may even think it's really weird that someone keeps contacting them about it.

It gets frustrating to read various AI threads (not singling out this thread- i've seen this in pretty much all of the threads) of the PNAM being constantly impatient about the AI process. AI is a very rare privilege. It is not a guarantee, it is not a right. As has been said by so many people, it's a process that, if successful, can take a very long time, sometimes years. I have seen so many threads this summer that talk about "why aren't they getting back to me?", etc. This still continues even after it's been explained why they may not be getting back to a PNAM right now. I know it can be hard to be patient, but you (collective "you") knew up front getting into this process that it can take a long time and that AI is NOT a common thing at all. The group may not be getting back to you because they don't know if they should, or maybe they don't think you're a good candidate and are trying to be polite. We don't know.

There are a lot of national/international officers that read these boards, and it really would not take them long to figure out who you are if you are trying to AI into their group. Just as we caution PNMs to be careful with what they say in their rush threads, AI's should be just as, if not more, careful. You're even easier to identify.

/rant about this summer's crop of PNAI's

More specific advice to the OP:
It seems that your life is sorta in transition right now. I personally would advise waiting until you know what you're going to do (i.e. law school, etc.) before you really pursue the AI process. You don't know where you're going to be, etc. It would be a shame for you to pursue AI and then move to a place where there wasn't an Alumnae Association for that group. If your life is in transition and there's a good possibility you would be changing locations, don't waste an AA's time if chances are you're not going to be there. Wait until you have some more stability in your life.

With all of this going on in your life- why now?

If you do get into and decide to attend law school, trust me, that will be more than enough to keep you busy!

[blueangel]

Yes, Kddani, you're very right regarding AI being rare. And as you correctly pointed out... many people in many organizations aren't quite sure what the procedures are. This can cause delays, miscommunications, dropped balls, etc.

And here-in lies the problem. In my case, had I not continued to ask questions, I would still be waiting. I fell through the cracks through no fault of anyone-- just that, AI is so rare, it turned out that some of the people trying to get my situation moved ahead didn't fill out the correct paperwork, and things dropped to a complete stand still.

Looking back at my e-mails, nearly an entire year elapsed at one point with no contact from anyone in the organization. (the whole process took three years-- and I wasn't even seeking AI! I didn't know there was such a thing. It was suggested to me by our district president.) What was I to think when so much time elapsed with no contact? It turns out that it WASN'T because they didn't want me.. but rather that everyone involved thought everything was taken care of. I later found out, everything WASN'T taken care of. Again, through no fault of their own. They just didn't know.

A kind soul on Greek Chat made some inquiries on my behalf, and was able to find out where the ball had been dropped to get things moving for me again.

Prior to that, there were so many times that I didn't know if I should continue to contact the organization, or if I should throw in the towel. Not being psychic, it's so hard to know if a GLO has decided not to admit you in, or if someone just forgot to fill out a piece of paperwork. Are you being assertive by keeping contact, are you being a pain? It's so hard to know when you're crossing the line.

I can't blame the PNAMs for being frustrated. It's far kinder to receive a "sorry, you're not for us" than being left to dangle in the wind.

Since this whole AI concept is so rare and relatively new to most organizations, there generally isn't any one specific person appointed to handle that. Maybe there should be... and maybe that will come in the future.

(edited to add that Kddani is correct that the summer is often very slow. People are on vacation, alumnae chapters generally stop until fall, and many groups are busy with convention. My opinion: I wouldn't advise any followup contact until September or October.)

[MJo19]

If you are that frustrated with us (collective us) then why read the threads? What we need is support and some questions answered, not someone to rant at us like we are kids. Yes, we know it is rare. Yes, we know it is a very special honor. Can that still mean we are impatient? Sure why not? Weren't you (collective you to everyone who rushed in college) impatient or nervous for your final bid to come? Why can't we be impatient for that final vote to come down (in my case) or waiting for that first contact back? I wouldn't even call it impatient; I would put it down as anxious. Sorry, I normally bite my tongue in times like this, but I just get sick of people ranting about this and that when all the person needs is support, especially when it includes me since I am part of this summer's "crop." The same exact thing happened on one of my threads, in the aspect of someone feeling the need to rant, but we are all allowed our opinions. Ecupidelta, whatever you think is right at this point in your life, go for it. Follow your heart (I know it sounds mushy, but it is so true).
P.S. Hmmm...crop..I so claim corn. Ecupidelta..do you want to be soybeans? Maybe someone else could be wheat, pumpkins, oats, hay...