How long would you wait until your SO popped the question?

[AUDeltaGam]

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I don't know -- it bothers me when women have this attitude. First, I think it implies that, as a woman, OF COURSE you want to get married from the getgo and you're just setting an arbitrary deadline by which the guy you're dating better be on board with your plans.

In terms of relationships, two years is not a very long time -- especially if you're going to marry this person and "spend the rest of your life with him" -- that could be what, sixty more years. So two years is a tiny, tiny speck of that time. What if you start dating this guy when you're, say, 20 years old? You want to be getting engaged and married at 22? Unless you're in rural Amish country, I think that for almost all people, that's WAAAAAY too young.

What's the point of a two-year rule? What would be the harm in dating someone for longer than that without being engaged or married? What's the rush? Sometimes it seems that many young or youngish women see marriage as some sort of prize or some sort of milestone that MUST BE REACHED and THE SOONER THE BETTER.

Also, and this is getting off the topic a bit, but I really hate to hear people (and it's always women because guys don't talk this crazy shit) saying I can't wait to start our life together (or "start our new life together"), when referring to getting married. You and your significant other already HAVE a life together, whether you're married or engaged or living together or dating or holding hands at the library on Friday nights. That IS your life together. It really doesn't change much, if at all, after getting married. You started a life together when you started dating -- and I think it's very important for women in particular to be well aware that it's not going to change after you get married. (Of course, if you didn't live together before marriage, which I would never recommend, that will change.) This is why I think people shouldn't even CONSIDER marriage unless their relationship is pretty damn kickass. If you have a million problems before that, they're not going to magically go away or get better. They'll get worse or you'll get sick of dealing with them.

AMEN! I couldn't have said it better.