Writing Recs for PNMs

[ADPi Conniebama]

Originally Posted by kdonline

I also:
1) get a resume and a picture.
2) send my own questions to the PNM, asking the specific questions that our rec form lists. (I'll be happy to share these with anyone - PM me.)
3) and yes, I also check myspace, friendster, facebook, etc for some insight on the PNM. After I do, I tell her to clean it up - even if it doesn't need cleaning.

If the PNM does not share her GPA with me, or if I find out something I don't like, I just don't write the rec. If she has a low GPA & has a good reason for it, I ask for an explanation.

I, too, have been asked by various mothers to send a rec in for their daughter/niece/friends daughters etc. If I don't know the girl then I for sure require that the pnm some how get me a resume with picture that I can send in with my rec and mention that I don't know the pnm personally.

This helps the pnm know that they have that particular sorority covered. I mean a rec doesnt mean a bid but it sure cant hurt. And with the recruits own resume the chapter gets all of the information they need. (however it is usually the same "resume" they send in to panhellenic to sign up for recruitment)

If I don't know the recruit personally I mention that on the rec and mention whether or not I "recommend" her.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by ADPi Conniebama

I mean a rec doesnt mean a bid but it sure can't hurt.

To repeat, and I don't pretend to know what a rec means to sororities other than Alpha Delta Pi, a recommendation is entree to recruitment parties, not a bid.

If you think of the days when the "in crowd" was let into a disco or a bar simply because they were famous or beautiful or the bouncer liked them - that's what a rec is. It gets you in the door, and it gets a PNM a second look. I have no problem with writing a rec for someone who acts & looks like an Alpha Delta Pi, IF I get a chance to talk to her, or am otherwise assured that this woman isn't going to end up on a "Girls Gone Wild" video.

But! It's an imperfect method. We have chapters where there are more legacies than there are Quota openings. Really, NPC has to come up with a better system soon. With the amount of truly brilliant women out there, perfecting the system, I hope the answer comes soon!

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by honeychile

It's an imperfect method. We have chapters where there are more legacies than there are Quota openings. Really, NPC has to come up with a better system soon.

I disagree. Chapters should be under no obligation to pledge anyone except for those members that they feel could best represent their values and chapter. I would hate to be a legacy who got into my sorority because of a special legacy quota... and spend the next 4 years wondering if the only reason I was offered this bid was because someone wrote me a letter. Recruitment is a continuously evolving mutual selection process. That's the best system there is.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Chapters should be under no obligation to pledge anyone except for those members that they feel could best represent their values and chapter.

If only Mama, Grandma or Sister would accept this. But of course in their eyes their legacy PNM is absolutely perfect and there is no valid excuse for their sorority to not want her. This is the part of Recruitment I absolutely dread, dealing with the angry and/or tearful phone calls trying to explain why their legacy was dropped while upholding the confidentiality of the Chapter.

[Drolefille]

Is it bad when you have the legacy that you don't like and you just sit there hoping "she'll drop us, she'll drop us, OH PLEASE DROP US" so you don't have to deal with those phone calls?

/I'm sure we've all gone through it.