What Makes You Feel Grown?

[Rain Man]

- The deed to my house

- The 3-4 (or more) noticeable strands of gray hair on my head

- Having body and facial hair

- Realizing that I am capable of making a baby--May 7, 1988 was a notable day in my life that I will never forget, second only to August 13, 1988.

- Not being able to do my famous Leslie Nielsen dance move at First Fridays anymore because I am gaining weight and when I do the move, it isn't nearly as fluid as it originally was.

- Going to parties and getting sleepy around midnight, as opposed to being able to party until 2, 4, and at one time 6 a.m. with no problem whatsoever.

- Having nude (or semi-nude) women in my bed and not having to worry about Moms coming in on us.

- Telling young folk about the good old days back in the 80s and what a glorious decade it was.

- Having a wallet full of money (my childhood, teen, and young adult years I often didn't have two nickels to rub together--shoot I am the original founder of Broke Phi Broke).

- My metabolism slowing down (as I kid I could eat a ton of junk food and not gain a single pound--and was extremely skinny to boot), now if I eat a single McDonald's $1 cheeseburger I gain a gut and a half.